Say Hello, Caitlin (2/2)
DISCLAIMER: NCIS and it's characters belong to CBS and their creators. This is not for profit and I am recognizing no financial gain from this enterprise.
Title: Say Hello, Caitlin
Author: Goodisrelative
Rating: PG-13 for now anyway
Summary: This is my 3rd and final story in this arc that started with Aftershocks, then went to Say Goodbye, Kate. You definitely need to read Say Goodbye, Kate to understand this story.
Author’s Note: As stated above, this is the final story in this arc. I’ve taken Jethro and Kate to a place far from where they currently are in canon. Understand that now. This story definitely leaves canon in the dust. I wrote this pre-Twilight and obviously in this universe, it never happened. This one also sees Jethro and Caitlin together in the end (at least the end of the story, which spans many years). I refuse to have Caitlin and Jethro compromise their ethics and be forced together because we want them to be together, but they belong together in this story, at least. I have used time to mellow them both from where I left them at the end of Say Goodbye, Kate, because time has the tendency to mellow people and dull the sharp edges of pain and hurt.
Many thanks to Shannon for all her betaing throughout the series. Also to Claudia and Susan who helped beta in earlier sections. Your thoughts and encouragement were definitely appreciated! Also, thanks to Natasha and Kate for betaing this story.
And with that said, on with the story!
__________________________________________________________
After two years of Law School, Caitlin Andrews had learned to like her new life. Malichi kept her informed about everyone, and so far no one needed her help. She had one semester of Law School left - she had taken courses during her two summers and also worked her second summer with the Attorney General’s office. She had been offered a job with the AG’s office after she took the Bar.
Caitlin may not have been completely happy in her new life, but she was content for the most part. If she missed her past too much, she went for a long run and remembered the pain it brought her.
Now she was taking the criminal prosecution and defense class because the AG’s office asked her to. She survived three classes involving a discussion on the rights of suspects and the evils of law enforcement officers before she lost her temper and her silence.
“Do any of you know what you are talking about? Have any of you been a suspect, been arrested? Been charged with a crime your parents haven’t bought your way out of? Have you even talked with a LEO - a law enforcement officer? Other than to berate them, I mean?” She took a breath to calm herself and continued. “I am tired of hearing the bullshit you’re all preaching when not one of you has any knowledge on the matter. I mean knowledge outside of OJ and Martha and Rodney King - if you are old enough to know who Rodney King is. What you hear on the news is never the straight truth; neither, for that matter, is what you read in a trial transcript. The facts are twisted to suit someone’s skewed opinion of what they think happened or should have happened. This is a good discussion topic and it should be discussed, because there are faults and flaws in the system. But I don’t want to hear what you have been told or what you see on the news. You need to gather the evidence before you can truly argue this topic.”
After a few shocked moments of silence, one of the loudmouths of the class finally spoke up. “And you have this experience?”
What Caitlin wanted to snarl at him was “Four years as a Secret Service Agent on presidential detail and then a year and a half as a special agent for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. Before that is classified and need to know. I can guarantee you that YOU won’t ever have the need to know.” What she actually said was simply, “Yes.”
This time a person clearing his throat broke the silence that followed her words.
Caitlin didn’t even have to look to know who it was. She sighed - it figured that HE would come today. Luckily it was the end of class and she could cut out in the crowd… except no one moved. She took yet another deep breath, packed her books and waited. She didn’t have to wait long before he came down and stood before her. She met his eyes fearlessly. He was no longer her boss and his freezing eyes paled in comparison to her past.
“Special Agent Gibbs. Abby and McGee did well,” Caitlin sighed.
“Kate…“ Gibbs started.
Caitlin interrupted him. “Caitlin Andrews. Kate died when I left NCIS, or rather, she died with Manning.”
For the first time since the shooting over two years ago, Jethro Gibbs looked into Caitlin’s eyes and this time he truly saw her and not the part of an agent that she had played so well.
Jethro picked up her bag and asked, “Is there a place we can talk?”
“Follow me,” Caitlin nodded. She led them to a favorite spot on the Charles River.
“So you found me,” Caitlin stated, breaking the silence that had descended since they had left the law school.
“I thought you hated Law School,” he said.
“Yeah, I once told Abby ‘I did a year in law school, felt like ten years in prison.’*” Caitlin agreed. “But I couldn’t give up law completely.” She let the silence descend again.
It was five full minutes before Caitlin broke it. “Why did you come looking for me Gibbs? As much as I love this spot and the silence, I am sure you came for more,” Caitlin spoke softly.
“I’ve had lots of reasons as the months and then years passed. I needed to tell you thank you for saving my life, that I was wrong for taking off my vest, and explain why I did. Then there was the anger at you for leaving. I mean you left before there was anything - at least my ex-wives left after we ruined whatever we had. Mostly, I just needed you to tell me why,” Jethro told her, finishing just as her cell phone rang.
Caitlin smiled at the caller ID. “Malichi! You’re okay!” She cried happily into the phone. “You’re safe? What is the damage this time?”
She listened and laughed. “Yes, Gibbs is standing right in front of me.” Another pause. “No, it’s okay. Really.”
“Mal, don’t think that I have forgotten that you haven’t answered my question. How bad this time?” Caitlin listened intently. “Malichi, you need to stop. Teach them, train them, but YOU need to stop.” Her voice was soft and full of worry. “I can’t loose you, Mal. You know that. Of all of you, losing you would destroy me. Come here once you are released.” Caitlin hung up a moment later.
“Damn you, Malichi!” She whispered, forgetting for a moment about Gibbs standing right next to her, as she put away her phone. “I can’t survive this existence without you.” Caitlin looked up, remembered Gibbs and had to smile at the look on his face.
“You want to know why I left? It was partly because I couldn’t handle another body. I lost six good friends to Manning. You were almost seven. And it wasn’t just the people I lost; I have twelve confirmed kills including Manning. Each one took a piece of my soul. I am certain that if I take another life it would destroy who I am. I’d be an empty shell of a person, without remorse. That’s why I left Crack’s team in the first place. Malichi understands how close I was to the edge, how close I was to losing myself. That is why I left law enforcement.” Caitlin sighed. “But that wasn’t why I left you. Part of it was you taking off your vest and in the process almost dying. But even before that, I was so sure everything was over when Manning was in prison. Then he was back. I had already let you, Ducky, Abby and Tony in, and that scared me. Manning had more people to use against me. You going down was my worst nightmare come to life.” Caitlin paused, looking out over the water, giving her words time to sink in.
“You and I were a part of my decision, too. Of all of you at NCIS, you scared me the most, because I couldn’t seem to keep you out. The others I could for the most part. But you, you were there no matter how hard I tried to keep you at a distance. I had let my guard down because I thought Manning was out of the picture, but I had years of practice in shutting people out. Yet, you just seemed to be there no matter what I did.” Caitlin spoke quietly.
Gibbs remained silent.
“I can’t go back, Jethro.” She dared call him Jethro now because she was no longer an agent under his command or the person he knew. “I can’t train or work as a LEO. I can’t be responsible for sending people to their deaths” Caitlin rolled her eyes, adding “And after so much time as a LEO, I’d probably kill my clients if I was a public defender. I have a job working in the Attorney General’s Office here in Boston after I take the Bar in February. This city soothes me, Gibbs. I can survive here. I am content here, which is all I can ask for anymore. I always know what is going on and if any of you needed my help, I’d be there in a heartbeat. But I need to stay here.” She met his eyes then. “Your actions had so many unforeseen consequences - things I didn’t even realize until recently. It was never your fault completely. This has always been my life. I get through it, so this will be no different. I just need more time. I need more time to get used to everything my life has become, Jethro.”
She smiled, remembering the look on Jethro’s face when she’d said Malachi’s name. “Malichi isn’t someone to be jealous of, either. We have never been romantically involved. We are like male and female versions of the same person, if you can understand that. We are the same, although our experiences are different. We keep each other sane. We can talk about anything; we can understand each other’s reactions and we can ease the nightmares of the past. Our relationship is not easy to classify or explain - it just is. You can take it or you can leave me, because it is one thing that will never change. I would never do that to him and he could never hurt me like that. Mal told me I’d have to deal with you sooner or later, and I knew it too, but I need more time. = I know that we have something between us that needs to be dealt with, but I know I’m not ready, because I’m not sure who I am yet. I wish I could help or be more detailed or positive. I can’t give you a time frame. The past has taken so much out of me that I need to deal with first, before I can truly move on and forward.”
“I’ve waited over two years to find you. I can wait until you are ready, as long as you understand that you can always come to me,” Jethro answered. “No matter how long it takes, you come find me. I don’t care about Malichi or your past. I care about you, Caitlin.”
“Why did you take off your vest?” Caitlin finally asked.
“The whole situation was bothering me and he hadn’t shown in the six hours we’d been on scene. I was tired of being half in the dark and one step behind you and everyone else. I guess everything came to a head and I made a decision. It was the wrong one, but I didn’t care at the time. I am sorry about what I put you through, though. I wish I could take back that one decision.” He tried to explain his actions from that long ago day.
“Don’t. Don’t think like that, don’t waste your life regretting it,” she interrupted him. “You’ll spend your life regretting things and before you know it, life has passed you by. You need to live, Jethro. Things happened for a reason. Maybe this is our way around Gibbs’ Rule Number 12.”
“You have to promise me that you will come talk to me face-to-face when you are ready. I don’t want you checking up on me and deciding for yourself that you shouldn’t interrupt my life,” he demanded of her.
Caitlin smiled at him. “I promise to talk to you face-to-face when I am ready. Hey! What happened to your rule about never saying you’re sorry?” Just then her stomach made itself known. Caitlin laughed. “How about I treat you to dinner?”
“How about you choose the place and I pay?” Jethro reworked her suggestion and ignored her question about saying he was sorry.
“All right!” Caitlin agreed and then headed out. “And you will answer my question about never saying you’re sorry.” She gave him "the eye” with a raised eyebrow.
His answer was patent Gibbs - since they were his rules, he could change them when it suited him.
Dinner was good as was the conversation. Gibbs brought her up to date on the NCIS team. Caitlin told him about her life in Boston.
Jethro left Boston that night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caitlin Andrews graduated from Boston University Law School a few months later. Malachi and Jethro were both there and took her out to dinner. Only Malichi stayed the night - he had important news for her.
“I took your advice, Caitlin, finally,” Malichi told her after she let him into her place.
“You’re going to train men and stop going on missions? About time, Mal! You cut it close,” Caitlin smiled at his news.
“Well, you taking time out of your last few weeks of school to come rescue my sorry ass when you should have been studying for finals kind of brought the need home,” Malichi answered.
“But you didn’t need me to rescue you. You got out before I could,” Caitlin reminded him and smiled again.
“Just knowing you’d be looking for me was enough to motivate me,” Malichi told her and then turned serious. “I will not be the cause of losing you, Caitlin.”
“Hey! No seriousness now. This is MY party!” Caitlin lightened the mood, knowing he was dead serious.
“I brought you a present,” he said and took out a small, wrapped box.
Inside was a beautiful silver chain with a handmade pendant - both sets of her initials intertwined. The card read:
You are who you make yourself.
You are a blend of your past.
Intertwine your life like these letters and
You’ll find your future.
“This is beautiful, Mal, but it is from Jethro, not you,” Caitlin stated softly, her eyes smiling. The necklace was not something Mal would give her. She marveled at the poet buried inside Jethro.
“He is right you know,” Malichi told her.
“I know, Mal, I know.” Leave it to Jethro to try and hide the poet inside by such a bad attempt at deception. He had to have known she know exactly who it was truly from. Then her eyes danced. “So what did you get me?”
Malichi just laughed at her and brought out a much larger box. Inside, Caitlin found three things: a small print from Egypt, a beautiful figurine from Ancient Egyptian mythology and a silver snake bracelet.
“Back into Stargate-SG1 reruns, Malichi?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “They are beautiful. Thanks, Mal.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since Abby and McGee had found her, and she and Jethro were on good terms, Caitlin made sure that her records for law school, the bar exam and her new job were transferred to her real name.
Six months after she started her job with the Massachusetts’ Attorney General’s Office in Boston, Caitlin took a four day weekend and visited Jethro in D.C.
After that, if Jethro’s work took him near Boston, he’d visit her. Every once in a while, Caitlin took a long weekend and visited him in D.C. Once they even met up in New York City. They talked on the phone and then more often on Instant Messenger - once Caitlin showed him how to use the program.
Caitlin Todd had been with the Massachusetts AG’s office two years when she took her first “real” vacation. She took a week and a half off. She spent the first four days visiting her old sniper team and then headed to D.C.
Caitlin rested her head against the elevator wall, wondering yet again if she was doing the right thing by revisiting her past. She was still unsure about her decision to come here. When the elevator doors opened, it was too quickly for her taste. Settling on moving ahead with her plans, Caitlin stepped off the elevator. She had to smile at the forgotten, yet familiar, noise of the bullpen.
She had changed enough in her five years away that she was able to slip behind Tony unnoticed by him or McGee. A mischievous look bloomed on her face as she listened to Tony and McGee talking. Tony voiced some thought that was typical Tony and Caitlin laughed, making her presence known.
“After five years, one would have thought you might have grown up some, instead of regressing even more, Tony,” Caitlin stated after smacking him in the arm for his sexist remark.
“Hey! Who do you think...” His voice trailed off as he turned and got his first look at who was behind him. He grinned as he recognized her. “Kate!”
“It’s Caitlin now, Tony. And as much as I am sure I’ll regret saying this, it’s good to see you. Actually, and this is scary for me to admit, I missed you.” Caitlin smiled and turned to McGee. “You, too, McGee.”
“It’s good to see you, too, Caitlin,” McGee stuttered, surprised at her presence.
Tony had recovered from his shock enough to leer, “So, you missed me, huh?”
Caitlin just rolled her eyes and turned to Jethro’s desk, smiling. “Hello, Jethro. I need to go down and say hi to Abby and Ducky and then I’ll be ready for lunch.”
“I need another ten minutes before I am ready to head out, so take your time,” Jethro nodded.
“Tony, McGee, we’ll talk tonight,” she reassured them before heading back over to the elevators and down to the basement, leaving the two men stunned that she had called Gibbs Jethro.
Lunch was good. They caught up on the last month and Jethro told her the plans for dinner that night.
Later that night, Jethro watched Caitlin as she explained the last five years to Tony, Abby, Ducky and McGee. He had to smile at her. She might have started out this journey searching for a version of herself that she could live with, but he was pretty sure she had found one she liked. And she didn’t even realize it yet. He didn’t think it would be too long before she moved back to D.C.
“What were you smiling at earlier, Jethro?” Caitlin asked, once the rest of the group had left. “You were starting to scare Tony and McGee.”
Jethro smiled at her words. “It seems that you found what you wanted - a you you like” he told her.
Caitlin just looked at him, surprised. She didn’t think about that anymore.
Jethro’s words stayed with her the rest of the night, keeping her awake. For the first time in almost five years, she forced herself to analyze her life. As dawn broke over the city, Caitlin ran the memorials and realized that Jethro was right. She’d found more than a version of herself that she could live with; she’d found one that she truly liked.
When she went back to Boston at the end of the week, Caitlin started searching for a position in D.C.
Three months later, she flew in for an interview with the Attorney General’s Office but told no one about it. She didn’t want to jinx it and she wasn’t ready to tell Jethro about it yet.
She went back a week and a half later for a second interview. It was only then that she even visited her friends at NCIS HQ, treating them to lunch before she flew back to Boston. Still, she told no one about the second interview. She took the job a week later.
Five and a half years after she left D.C. and her old life, Caitlin returned. She spent Sunday unpacking a few of her suitcases in her hotel room. She was staying in a hotel room until she found a place to call home. Caitlin hadn’t realized just how much she had missed D.C. until she was back to stay.
She took that first week to settle herself into her job. No one was aware, yet, of her job change or the fact that she was in D.C.
On Saturday afternoon, Caitlin drove over to Jethro’s house and took a deep breath to settle her nerves before ringing his doorbell. She knew he was home - his car was in the driveway.
“Coming!” Jethro called out, annoyed at the interruption. He was working on his boat for the first time in weeks.
Caitlin had a speech all worked out to tell Jethro about her new job and moving to D.C. She wanted to tell him that her life was finally in order and if he was still interested, she’d like to try moving beyond friends, to explore what was between them. But, when he opened the door, she forgot everything she meant to say. Instead, she just smiled a hello at him and then kissed him. She poured all her feelings into that first kiss and let that speak for her instead.
Jethro stood stunned in the doorway for half a second before his brain responded by pulling her close and taking control of the kiss.
“I’m home to stay, Jethro,” she whispered when she could speak again.
He smiled at her and pulled her fully inside his house. “Hello, Caitlin,” he spoke as he shut the door.
*Quote from Hung Out to Dry
Title: Say Hello, Caitlin
Author: Goodisrelative
Rating: PG-13 for now anyway
Summary: This is my 3rd and final story in this arc that started with Aftershocks, then went to Say Goodbye, Kate. You definitely need to read Say Goodbye, Kate to understand this story.
Author’s Note: As stated above, this is the final story in this arc. I’ve taken Jethro and Kate to a place far from where they currently are in canon. Understand that now. This story definitely leaves canon in the dust. I wrote this pre-Twilight and obviously in this universe, it never happened. This one also sees Jethro and Caitlin together in the end (at least the end of the story, which spans many years). I refuse to have Caitlin and Jethro compromise their ethics and be forced together because we want them to be together, but they belong together in this story, at least. I have used time to mellow them both from where I left them at the end of Say Goodbye, Kate, because time has the tendency to mellow people and dull the sharp edges of pain and hurt.
Many thanks to Shannon for all her betaing throughout the series. Also to Claudia and Susan who helped beta in earlier sections. Your thoughts and encouragement were definitely appreciated! Also, thanks to Natasha and Kate for betaing this story.
And with that said, on with the story!
__________________________________________________________
After two years of Law School, Caitlin Andrews had learned to like her new life. Malichi kept her informed about everyone, and so far no one needed her help. She had one semester of Law School left - she had taken courses during her two summers and also worked her second summer with the Attorney General’s office. She had been offered a job with the AG’s office after she took the Bar.
Caitlin may not have been completely happy in her new life, but she was content for the most part. If she missed her past too much, she went for a long run and remembered the pain it brought her.
Now she was taking the criminal prosecution and defense class because the AG’s office asked her to. She survived three classes involving a discussion on the rights of suspects and the evils of law enforcement officers before she lost her temper and her silence.
“Do any of you know what you are talking about? Have any of you been a suspect, been arrested? Been charged with a crime your parents haven’t bought your way out of? Have you even talked with a LEO - a law enforcement officer? Other than to berate them, I mean?” She took a breath to calm herself and continued. “I am tired of hearing the bullshit you’re all preaching when not one of you has any knowledge on the matter. I mean knowledge outside of OJ and Martha and Rodney King - if you are old enough to know who Rodney King is. What you hear on the news is never the straight truth; neither, for that matter, is what you read in a trial transcript. The facts are twisted to suit someone’s skewed opinion of what they think happened or should have happened. This is a good discussion topic and it should be discussed, because there are faults and flaws in the system. But I don’t want to hear what you have been told or what you see on the news. You need to gather the evidence before you can truly argue this topic.”
After a few shocked moments of silence, one of the loudmouths of the class finally spoke up. “And you have this experience?”
What Caitlin wanted to snarl at him was “Four years as a Secret Service Agent on presidential detail and then a year and a half as a special agent for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. Before that is classified and need to know. I can guarantee you that YOU won’t ever have the need to know.” What she actually said was simply, “Yes.”
This time a person clearing his throat broke the silence that followed her words.
Caitlin didn’t even have to look to know who it was. She sighed - it figured that HE would come today. Luckily it was the end of class and she could cut out in the crowd… except no one moved. She took yet another deep breath, packed her books and waited. She didn’t have to wait long before he came down and stood before her. She met his eyes fearlessly. He was no longer her boss and his freezing eyes paled in comparison to her past.
“Special Agent Gibbs. Abby and McGee did well,” Caitlin sighed.
“Kate…“ Gibbs started.
Caitlin interrupted him. “Caitlin Andrews. Kate died when I left NCIS, or rather, she died with Manning.”
For the first time since the shooting over two years ago, Jethro Gibbs looked into Caitlin’s eyes and this time he truly saw her and not the part of an agent that she had played so well.
Jethro picked up her bag and asked, “Is there a place we can talk?”
“Follow me,” Caitlin nodded. She led them to a favorite spot on the Charles River.
“So you found me,” Caitlin stated, breaking the silence that had descended since they had left the law school.
“I thought you hated Law School,” he said.
“Yeah, I once told Abby ‘I did a year in law school, felt like ten years in prison.’*” Caitlin agreed. “But I couldn’t give up law completely.” She let the silence descend again.
It was five full minutes before Caitlin broke it. “Why did you come looking for me Gibbs? As much as I love this spot and the silence, I am sure you came for more,” Caitlin spoke softly.
“I’ve had lots of reasons as the months and then years passed. I needed to tell you thank you for saving my life, that I was wrong for taking off my vest, and explain why I did. Then there was the anger at you for leaving. I mean you left before there was anything - at least my ex-wives left after we ruined whatever we had. Mostly, I just needed you to tell me why,” Jethro told her, finishing just as her cell phone rang.
Caitlin smiled at the caller ID. “Malichi! You’re okay!” She cried happily into the phone. “You’re safe? What is the damage this time?”
She listened and laughed. “Yes, Gibbs is standing right in front of me.” Another pause. “No, it’s okay. Really.”
“Mal, don’t think that I have forgotten that you haven’t answered my question. How bad this time?” Caitlin listened intently. “Malichi, you need to stop. Teach them, train them, but YOU need to stop.” Her voice was soft and full of worry. “I can’t loose you, Mal. You know that. Of all of you, losing you would destroy me. Come here once you are released.” Caitlin hung up a moment later.
“Damn you, Malichi!” She whispered, forgetting for a moment about Gibbs standing right next to her, as she put away her phone. “I can’t survive this existence without you.” Caitlin looked up, remembered Gibbs and had to smile at the look on his face.
“You want to know why I left? It was partly because I couldn’t handle another body. I lost six good friends to Manning. You were almost seven. And it wasn’t just the people I lost; I have twelve confirmed kills including Manning. Each one took a piece of my soul. I am certain that if I take another life it would destroy who I am. I’d be an empty shell of a person, without remorse. That’s why I left Crack’s team in the first place. Malichi understands how close I was to the edge, how close I was to losing myself. That is why I left law enforcement.” Caitlin sighed. “But that wasn’t why I left you. Part of it was you taking off your vest and in the process almost dying. But even before that, I was so sure everything was over when Manning was in prison. Then he was back. I had already let you, Ducky, Abby and Tony in, and that scared me. Manning had more people to use against me. You going down was my worst nightmare come to life.” Caitlin paused, looking out over the water, giving her words time to sink in.
“You and I were a part of my decision, too. Of all of you at NCIS, you scared me the most, because I couldn’t seem to keep you out. The others I could for the most part. But you, you were there no matter how hard I tried to keep you at a distance. I had let my guard down because I thought Manning was out of the picture, but I had years of practice in shutting people out. Yet, you just seemed to be there no matter what I did.” Caitlin spoke quietly.
Gibbs remained silent.
“I can’t go back, Jethro.” She dared call him Jethro now because she was no longer an agent under his command or the person he knew. “I can’t train or work as a LEO. I can’t be responsible for sending people to their deaths” Caitlin rolled her eyes, adding “And after so much time as a LEO, I’d probably kill my clients if I was a public defender. I have a job working in the Attorney General’s Office here in Boston after I take the Bar in February. This city soothes me, Gibbs. I can survive here. I am content here, which is all I can ask for anymore. I always know what is going on and if any of you needed my help, I’d be there in a heartbeat. But I need to stay here.” She met his eyes then. “Your actions had so many unforeseen consequences - things I didn’t even realize until recently. It was never your fault completely. This has always been my life. I get through it, so this will be no different. I just need more time. I need more time to get used to everything my life has become, Jethro.”
She smiled, remembering the look on Jethro’s face when she’d said Malachi’s name. “Malichi isn’t someone to be jealous of, either. We have never been romantically involved. We are like male and female versions of the same person, if you can understand that. We are the same, although our experiences are different. We keep each other sane. We can talk about anything; we can understand each other’s reactions and we can ease the nightmares of the past. Our relationship is not easy to classify or explain - it just is. You can take it or you can leave me, because it is one thing that will never change. I would never do that to him and he could never hurt me like that. Mal told me I’d have to deal with you sooner or later, and I knew it too, but I need more time. = I know that we have something between us that needs to be dealt with, but I know I’m not ready, because I’m not sure who I am yet. I wish I could help or be more detailed or positive. I can’t give you a time frame. The past has taken so much out of me that I need to deal with first, before I can truly move on and forward.”
“I’ve waited over two years to find you. I can wait until you are ready, as long as you understand that you can always come to me,” Jethro answered. “No matter how long it takes, you come find me. I don’t care about Malichi or your past. I care about you, Caitlin.”
“Why did you take off your vest?” Caitlin finally asked.
“The whole situation was bothering me and he hadn’t shown in the six hours we’d been on scene. I was tired of being half in the dark and one step behind you and everyone else. I guess everything came to a head and I made a decision. It was the wrong one, but I didn’t care at the time. I am sorry about what I put you through, though. I wish I could take back that one decision.” He tried to explain his actions from that long ago day.
“Don’t. Don’t think like that, don’t waste your life regretting it,” she interrupted him. “You’ll spend your life regretting things and before you know it, life has passed you by. You need to live, Jethro. Things happened for a reason. Maybe this is our way around Gibbs’ Rule Number 12.”
“You have to promise me that you will come talk to me face-to-face when you are ready. I don’t want you checking up on me and deciding for yourself that you shouldn’t interrupt my life,” he demanded of her.
Caitlin smiled at him. “I promise to talk to you face-to-face when I am ready. Hey! What happened to your rule about never saying you’re sorry?” Just then her stomach made itself known. Caitlin laughed. “How about I treat you to dinner?”
“How about you choose the place and I pay?” Jethro reworked her suggestion and ignored her question about saying he was sorry.
“All right!” Caitlin agreed and then headed out. “And you will answer my question about never saying you’re sorry.” She gave him "the eye” with a raised eyebrow.
His answer was patent Gibbs - since they were his rules, he could change them when it suited him.
Dinner was good as was the conversation. Gibbs brought her up to date on the NCIS team. Caitlin told him about her life in Boston.
Jethro left Boston that night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caitlin Andrews graduated from Boston University Law School a few months later. Malachi and Jethro were both there and took her out to dinner. Only Malichi stayed the night - he had important news for her.
“I took your advice, Caitlin, finally,” Malichi told her after she let him into her place.
“You’re going to train men and stop going on missions? About time, Mal! You cut it close,” Caitlin smiled at his news.
“Well, you taking time out of your last few weeks of school to come rescue my sorry ass when you should have been studying for finals kind of brought the need home,” Malichi answered.
“But you didn’t need me to rescue you. You got out before I could,” Caitlin reminded him and smiled again.
“Just knowing you’d be looking for me was enough to motivate me,” Malichi told her and then turned serious. “I will not be the cause of losing you, Caitlin.”
“Hey! No seriousness now. This is MY party!” Caitlin lightened the mood, knowing he was dead serious.
“I brought you a present,” he said and took out a small, wrapped box.
Inside was a beautiful silver chain with a handmade pendant - both sets of her initials intertwined. The card read:
You are who you make yourself.
You are a blend of your past.
Intertwine your life like these letters and
You’ll find your future.
“This is beautiful, Mal, but it is from Jethro, not you,” Caitlin stated softly, her eyes smiling. The necklace was not something Mal would give her. She marveled at the poet buried inside Jethro.
“He is right you know,” Malichi told her.
“I know, Mal, I know.” Leave it to Jethro to try and hide the poet inside by such a bad attempt at deception. He had to have known she know exactly who it was truly from. Then her eyes danced. “So what did you get me?”
Malichi just laughed at her and brought out a much larger box. Inside, Caitlin found three things: a small print from Egypt, a beautiful figurine from Ancient Egyptian mythology and a silver snake bracelet.
“Back into Stargate-SG1 reruns, Malichi?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “They are beautiful. Thanks, Mal.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since Abby and McGee had found her, and she and Jethro were on good terms, Caitlin made sure that her records for law school, the bar exam and her new job were transferred to her real name.
Six months after she started her job with the Massachusetts’ Attorney General’s Office in Boston, Caitlin took a four day weekend and visited Jethro in D.C.
After that, if Jethro’s work took him near Boston, he’d visit her. Every once in a while, Caitlin took a long weekend and visited him in D.C. Once they even met up in New York City. They talked on the phone and then more often on Instant Messenger - once Caitlin showed him how to use the program.
Caitlin Todd had been with the Massachusetts AG’s office two years when she took her first “real” vacation. She took a week and a half off. She spent the first four days visiting her old sniper team and then headed to D.C.
Caitlin rested her head against the elevator wall, wondering yet again if she was doing the right thing by revisiting her past. She was still unsure about her decision to come here. When the elevator doors opened, it was too quickly for her taste. Settling on moving ahead with her plans, Caitlin stepped off the elevator. She had to smile at the forgotten, yet familiar, noise of the bullpen.
She had changed enough in her five years away that she was able to slip behind Tony unnoticed by him or McGee. A mischievous look bloomed on her face as she listened to Tony and McGee talking. Tony voiced some thought that was typical Tony and Caitlin laughed, making her presence known.
“After five years, one would have thought you might have grown up some, instead of regressing even more, Tony,” Caitlin stated after smacking him in the arm for his sexist remark.
“Hey! Who do you think...” His voice trailed off as he turned and got his first look at who was behind him. He grinned as he recognized her. “Kate!”
“It’s Caitlin now, Tony. And as much as I am sure I’ll regret saying this, it’s good to see you. Actually, and this is scary for me to admit, I missed you.” Caitlin smiled and turned to McGee. “You, too, McGee.”
“It’s good to see you, too, Caitlin,” McGee stuttered, surprised at her presence.
Tony had recovered from his shock enough to leer, “So, you missed me, huh?”
Caitlin just rolled her eyes and turned to Jethro’s desk, smiling. “Hello, Jethro. I need to go down and say hi to Abby and Ducky and then I’ll be ready for lunch.”
“I need another ten minutes before I am ready to head out, so take your time,” Jethro nodded.
“Tony, McGee, we’ll talk tonight,” she reassured them before heading back over to the elevators and down to the basement, leaving the two men stunned that she had called Gibbs Jethro.
Lunch was good. They caught up on the last month and Jethro told her the plans for dinner that night.
Later that night, Jethro watched Caitlin as she explained the last five years to Tony, Abby, Ducky and McGee. He had to smile at her. She might have started out this journey searching for a version of herself that she could live with, but he was pretty sure she had found one she liked. And she didn’t even realize it yet. He didn’t think it would be too long before she moved back to D.C.
“What were you smiling at earlier, Jethro?” Caitlin asked, once the rest of the group had left. “You were starting to scare Tony and McGee.”
Jethro smiled at her words. “It seems that you found what you wanted - a you you like” he told her.
Caitlin just looked at him, surprised. She didn’t think about that anymore.
Jethro’s words stayed with her the rest of the night, keeping her awake. For the first time in almost five years, she forced herself to analyze her life. As dawn broke over the city, Caitlin ran the memorials and realized that Jethro was right. She’d found more than a version of herself that she could live with; she’d found one that she truly liked.
When she went back to Boston at the end of the week, Caitlin started searching for a position in D.C.
Three months later, she flew in for an interview with the Attorney General’s Office but told no one about it. She didn’t want to jinx it and she wasn’t ready to tell Jethro about it yet.
She went back a week and a half later for a second interview. It was only then that she even visited her friends at NCIS HQ, treating them to lunch before she flew back to Boston. Still, she told no one about the second interview. She took the job a week later.
Five and a half years after she left D.C. and her old life, Caitlin returned. She spent Sunday unpacking a few of her suitcases in her hotel room. She was staying in a hotel room until she found a place to call home. Caitlin hadn’t realized just how much she had missed D.C. until she was back to stay.
She took that first week to settle herself into her job. No one was aware, yet, of her job change or the fact that she was in D.C.
On Saturday afternoon, Caitlin drove over to Jethro’s house and took a deep breath to settle her nerves before ringing his doorbell. She knew he was home - his car was in the driveway.
“Coming!” Jethro called out, annoyed at the interruption. He was working on his boat for the first time in weeks.
Caitlin had a speech all worked out to tell Jethro about her new job and moving to D.C. She wanted to tell him that her life was finally in order and if he was still interested, she’d like to try moving beyond friends, to explore what was between them. But, when he opened the door, she forgot everything she meant to say. Instead, she just smiled a hello at him and then kissed him. She poured all her feelings into that first kiss and let that speak for her instead.
Jethro stood stunned in the doorway for half a second before his brain responded by pulling her close and taking control of the kiss.
“I’m home to stay, Jethro,” she whispered when she could speak again.
He smiled at her and pulled her fully inside his house. “Hello, Caitlin,” he spoke as he shut the door.
*Quote from Hung Out to Dry