Castle FanFic: Know the Stars are Holdin' You, PG
Title: Know the Stars are Holdin' You
Author: goodisrelative
Rating: PG
Spoilers: through Hell Hath No Fury
Character/Pairing: Richard Castle / None
Summary: But usually it is his life he lets sift through his mind.
Author's note: This one was a slow percolating story… in part because I had no time to write and in part because it needed time to grow and evolve.
The title is a line from Tonight by FM Static.
Thanks to pixie_on_acid for the grammar/writing beta and bets_cyn and vflick for the character beta!
Sometimes Castle just likes to stare out at the New York skyline and think. He always tells his mother and even Alexis sometimes that he is percolating part of a story plot. But usually it is his life he lets sift through his mind.
He has three loves in his life. Alexis had always been number one. He can admit now that he hadn't loved her mother as much as he loves Alexis. From the first moment he learned of her tiny existence, he's loved her unconditionally - sight unseen and he's never questioned that. Then, when he first saw her, all wrinkled, red and slimy, it really had been an "Ahha moment" like the commercials spoke of. His life changed and instead of living for himself, he lives for her. In fifteen years, nothing has changed that. Clichéd, but no less true.
He gives her the mostly normal childhood he never had. He's been there for her first smile, her first steps, her first skinned knee, anything and everything. The afternoons spent at the park are still some of his best memories. She is his wonder, more because she never ceases to amaze him. She is the best of him and keeps him grounded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He actually does love his mother. She drives him crazy; he resents what she puts (and has put) him through, especially as a child. But she brings an absurdity to his life that gives him perspective… and something to bond with Alexis about.
She made him into who he is - a man who can enthrall even cops with the yarns he spins. A man who loves to party and who has an ego too large for many. A man who can be at an after party one moment and in the morgue, looking at a dead child, facing a fear he's been blindsided by the next.
She taught him not by direct example, but rather by knowing the opposite is the correct way to do something. She was never there for him growing up; he's always there for Alexis and always will be, without hesitation, no matter where he is. She cooks, leaving disorder and disaster; he needs clean and order.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His third love, he usually says is his writing, for no woman has matched his love for Alexis or his mother. But now he has to wonder if the true answer answers to Beckett more than Kate. She fascinates him; he admits that easily. But there is a difference with her than with the women of his past - even Alexis' mother. The fear when she faced that scared, desperate kid with a knife mocks him when he denies this. He enjoys the back and forth, the give and take, with her and she matches his game without even trying. He thinks about that most often these days when he watches the city.
But he knows everything changed the most when she told him of her mother's murder and explained why she wears a watch too big for her small wrist. It is the need he feels to work his magic on one case so cold there could be icicles that makes him start to wonder if he needs to change that line to "he has four loves in his life" because writing will always be one, but it is becoming fourth fiddle to three woman he can't imagine not seeing every day.
Author: goodisrelative
Rating: PG
Spoilers: through Hell Hath No Fury
Character/Pairing: Richard Castle / None
Summary: But usually it is his life he lets sift through his mind.
Author's note: This one was a slow percolating story… in part because I had no time to write and in part because it needed time to grow and evolve.
The title is a line from Tonight by FM Static.
Thanks to pixie_on_acid for the grammar/writing beta and bets_cyn and vflick for the character beta!
Sometimes Castle just likes to stare out at the New York skyline and think. He always tells his mother and even Alexis sometimes that he is percolating part of a story plot. But usually it is his life he lets sift through his mind.
He has three loves in his life. Alexis had always been number one. He can admit now that he hadn't loved her mother as much as he loves Alexis. From the first moment he learned of her tiny existence, he's loved her unconditionally - sight unseen and he's never questioned that. Then, when he first saw her, all wrinkled, red and slimy, it really had been an "Ahha moment" like the commercials spoke of. His life changed and instead of living for himself, he lives for her. In fifteen years, nothing has changed that. Clichéd, but no less true.
He gives her the mostly normal childhood he never had. He's been there for her first smile, her first steps, her first skinned knee, anything and everything. The afternoons spent at the park are still some of his best memories. She is his wonder, more because she never ceases to amaze him. She is the best of him and keeps him grounded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He actually does love his mother. She drives him crazy; he resents what she puts (and has put) him through, especially as a child. But she brings an absurdity to his life that gives him perspective… and something to bond with Alexis about.
She made him into who he is - a man who can enthrall even cops with the yarns he spins. A man who loves to party and who has an ego too large for many. A man who can be at an after party one moment and in the morgue, looking at a dead child, facing a fear he's been blindsided by the next.
She taught him not by direct example, but rather by knowing the opposite is the correct way to do something. She was never there for him growing up; he's always there for Alexis and always will be, without hesitation, no matter where he is. She cooks, leaving disorder and disaster; he needs clean and order.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His third love, he usually says is his writing, for no woman has matched his love for Alexis or his mother. But now he has to wonder if the true answer answers to Beckett more than Kate. She fascinates him; he admits that easily. But there is a difference with her than with the women of his past - even Alexis' mother. The fear when she faced that scared, desperate kid with a knife mocks him when he denies this. He enjoys the back and forth, the give and take, with her and she matches his game without even trying. He thinks about that most often these days when he watches the city.
But he knows everything changed the most when she told him of her mother's murder and explained why she wears a watch too big for her small wrist. It is the need he feels to work his magic on one case so cold there could be icicles that makes him start to wonder if he needs to change that line to "he has four loves in his life" because writing will always be one, but it is becoming fourth fiddle to three woman he can't imagine not seeing every day.