one. ONE. ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear friends,
I'm currently sitting in my room in the dark, listening to Oasis. It's raining outside. There's thunder and lightening, and I couldn't really ask for a more appropriate way for it to be.
This is the way I've been feeling for the past couple of years of my life. It's been fucking hard. I haven't felt good. That's not to say that I haven't had amazing times. Or fucking good laughs with some of the most incredible people I've ever encountered. I just wish everyday was as good as some of the stand out ones.
I've sat in my room like this before. I've lied on the floor of my room listening to Oasis, just crying for hours.
And this, today, is one of the first times that I've cried, in my room, with the lights off, out of happiness, rather than anything else.
I've wanted to be this happy for such a long time. I don't even care about anything anymore. Above everything else, I really do believe music is the only thing that saves me.
I don't care if you don't believe me, either. I don't care if you think that music is just one of my hobbies. It's my life and I just wish I could help you to all understand why.
It's not the kind of thing I like to talk about.
Just let it be what it is.
I'm hoping tomorrow and Thursday and Friday to be some of the most memorable days in my life.
All I really want is to look Noel Gallagher in the eye and say thank you. Without him, I know I wouldn't be here. I was born to know his music.
I just want a handshake or a hug. I just want an acknoledgement that lets me know that he knows I'm alive. That's all I want. That's all I've ever wanted. That's all I'll ever ask for.
Thank you all for being my friends, all of you.
I really do think I deserve you now. I'm good enough for you. I hope you think so.
I really love you.
(Thomas, I really hope we're friends forever. I love you a lot)
(Jana, you're just a bundle of excellence. I appreciate and take into concideration everything you say)
(Alex and Rachel, thank you for being part of my better days)
(Bram, thanks for coming with me to everything. You're more appreciated than ever at times like these)
(Ali, thanks for being my best friend :) )
(Seb, THANK YOU FOR BEING FUCKING INCREDIBLE. YOU'RE SUCH A ROCK STAR)
Oh man..I'm just so emotional. I Love. Love. Love.
There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how!!
Wish me luck. It's going to be a good summer.
I hope you all get to experience the feeling of...i don't even know what I'm feeling right now.