The Crimson Flows
Where does time go.. only yesterday it seemed like a new year, now we're nearing the end.
Anyway, life has been bad lately, and getting worse and I feel like I'm heading down a slope fast and without any brakes to stop me. Things happening I don't want to, and sometimes feels like I can't, explain on here without making me look bad or making me sound like a useless freak of nature I often feel I am when I see my reflection in the mirror.
For me I see everything bad about myself, from my disability to how I look, to the world (and occasionally some people) around me seemingly wanting me to just end it all as it would be for the best for everyone.
So, as usual what happens when I get so depressed and feel like I do? I write. I write crap mostly, poems or attempted poems of some crazy shit some may say. Feelings, emotions, words that make sense when written down but not when I'm thinking them in my mind as it's too scary.
So yeah, anyway, don't look under the cut if you don't like stories/poems that are kind of dark and disturbing to read.
I did warn you that I'm a fucked up freak of a human being didn't I?
The Crimson Flows by Goodieuk
Like a river, flowing across the boards
Some say it may be, their rewards
The torture, the pain, the suffering he felt
Of life's gratitude, that he was dealt
A crimson color, so deep and rich
For being everyones, playful bitch
The river flows, never ending in floods
That crimson delight, that rich taste of blood
For years he suffered, all your wrath
Till he took his life, down the devils path
A future without hope, that he was foretold
Laying upon the floor, a pale look so cold
Words, sticks, bones that crack
Beaten badly to blue, and then faded black
A heart broken inside, a mind lost to the world
It made him so sick, till he could no longer hurl
The world plays games, on those not so perfect
A virus called hatred, that he would infect
For it didn't matter, if he was nice or good
In a world where in truth, some are misunderstood
So laying there now, upon the hard wooden floors
His body showing a victim, of those forgotten wars
No one to care, no one to say goodbye
As his spirit floats away, into the night sky
Noose by Goodieuk
Each day I sit here, and take the abuse
Each crime of hatred, tightening that noose
Hiding away, for not being like you all
A creature of the night, that you all appall
A missing finger, or a thumb or maybe a leg
It doesn't really matter, as I'm pelted with egg
A sneer, a snide remark, a laughter of joy
Like something you play with, a young child's toy
The fact of the matter is, I'm different than you
A disability born with, that I cannot undo
These tears I cry, its not joy but pain
Of my life in fear, turning insane
Stones shatter, glass breaks hard
A scratch on my body, and another part scarred
Fun and games they call it, we're just having a laugh
But at my expense, on my behalf
The final nail will fall, into the coffin that awaits
I did no wrong, no honest mistakes
Nothing to look forward to, no people really understand
What I feel inside, like Custer's last stand
But how will it end, thats a story yet untold
Of an end to a victim, a body to behold
Maybe a blade, a knife, or even some rope
So I can hang myself, their is no hope!
WORDS by Goodieuk
Pain... Suffering... Torture
Broken... Inside...
Mind... Fading... Gone...
Memory... Lost... Forever....
Anyway, life has been bad lately, and getting worse and I feel like I'm heading down a slope fast and without any brakes to stop me. Things happening I don't want to, and sometimes feels like I can't, explain on here without making me look bad or making me sound like a useless freak of nature I often feel I am when I see my reflection in the mirror.
For me I see everything bad about myself, from my disability to how I look, to the world (and occasionally some people) around me seemingly wanting me to just end it all as it would be for the best for everyone.
So, as usual what happens when I get so depressed and feel like I do? I write. I write crap mostly, poems or attempted poems of some crazy shit some may say. Feelings, emotions, words that make sense when written down but not when I'm thinking them in my mind as it's too scary.
So yeah, anyway, don't look under the cut if you don't like stories/poems that are kind of dark and disturbing to read.
I did warn you that I'm a fucked up freak of a human being didn't I?
The Crimson Flows by Goodieuk
Like a river, flowing across the boards
Some say it may be, their rewards
The torture, the pain, the suffering he felt
Of life's gratitude, that he was dealt
A crimson color, so deep and rich
For being everyones, playful bitch
The river flows, never ending in floods
That crimson delight, that rich taste of blood
For years he suffered, all your wrath
Till he took his life, down the devils path
A future without hope, that he was foretold
Laying upon the floor, a pale look so cold
Words, sticks, bones that crack
Beaten badly to blue, and then faded black
A heart broken inside, a mind lost to the world
It made him so sick, till he could no longer hurl
The world plays games, on those not so perfect
A virus called hatred, that he would infect
For it didn't matter, if he was nice or good
In a world where in truth, some are misunderstood
So laying there now, upon the hard wooden floors
His body showing a victim, of those forgotten wars
No one to care, no one to say goodbye
As his spirit floats away, into the night sky
Noose by Goodieuk
Each day I sit here, and take the abuse
Each crime of hatred, tightening that noose
Hiding away, for not being like you all
A creature of the night, that you all appall
A missing finger, or a thumb or maybe a leg
It doesn't really matter, as I'm pelted with egg
A sneer, a snide remark, a laughter of joy
Like something you play with, a young child's toy
The fact of the matter is, I'm different than you
A disability born with, that I cannot undo
These tears I cry, its not joy but pain
Of my life in fear, turning insane
Stones shatter, glass breaks hard
A scratch on my body, and another part scarred
Fun and games they call it, we're just having a laugh
But at my expense, on my behalf
The final nail will fall, into the coffin that awaits
I did no wrong, no honest mistakes
Nothing to look forward to, no people really understand
What I feel inside, like Custer's last stand
But how will it end, thats a story yet untold
Of an end to a victim, a body to behold
Maybe a blade, a knife, or even some rope
So I can hang myself, their is no hope!
WORDS by Goodieuk
Pain... Suffering... Torture
Broken... Inside...
Mind... Fading... Gone...
Memory... Lost... Forever....