imagine all the people
Heyy babies, its been quite awhile since ive posted, but ive been busy, either at school or in my own head. ugh.
so hmm, this past week has been an interesting one. some sense of panic and anxiety has rested itself inside of me yet again, and this time its mixed with this sense of guilt. guilt because leaving school makes me weak, and once i get home i feel like i shouldn't be allowed to relax. theres no escape unless im alseep. i do look forward to play rehersals tho...strangely. i like being surrounded by those people. i love my friends so much im so greatful that i have them, but its the other people we are surrounded with that i don't like. everythings so fake it just cracks me up, everyones gotta dress the same and be so perfect its like we were all programed before we came out...its these uniform social groups that kill me. its so crazy. allie and i were talking about people and their opinions, and how closed minded so many people are, if they stay this way then what is there ever to look forward to if we can't experience new things. BAH!
ive been so exhausted, sleeping all day and stuff its sad. i hate being like this and even worse i hate talking about it because whenever i hear other people talking about themselves being sad or depressed im always like SHUT UP AND GET OVER YOURSELF so i wouldn't blame any of you reading this for thinking the same of myself. i suppose everyone goes through it.
so im diggin the new jet song..sounds like the beatles. and perfect circle did a cover of john lennon's 'imagine' and i love it, my dad walked in and heard me listening to it, he called it horrible and said it sounded like he was singing out of a hell hole. haha i love it tho! duuude gwens cd is coming out in 12 days!! woot! oh heyy ive been wore my heels through the whole rehersal yesterday! im so proud haha. hmm what else, heather did a wicked matista impression yesterday i mean we both do the voice dead on but her face was priceless it matched like a puzzle haaha. hmm what else, im gettin exited for formal! oh i went and saw the grudge with some people last weekend and it was freakin scary, heather screamed like a baby in roberts ear haha it was too funny. hmm i took roxanne for a walk in the rain thimorning..it was cold haha but fun.
aaanywaysss!!!!....slow motion fo me..
xox
MADlovelovelove