The question has been answered
He wasn't a stalker, nor was it exactly eagerness that made him so zealous. It was a lack of social skills.
Let me tell you, some people photograph *really* well. In his photo, Scott looked all strong-jawed and sweet. In person, his looks telegraphed insecurity, awkwardness and a little bit of inherent dorkiness. Ironically, I've dated lots of guys who are dorky, and usually I find that attractive. But the combo didn't work for Scott, because he was, well, a bit like a wet noodle. Limp. No confidence.
I got to Mars Bar before Scott did and had a great time meeting up with the friends I hadn't seen in a few months. When Scott arrived, I knew instantly that this wasn't going anywhere. Luckily, he spent a long while talking to Leighton's friend Kristina, who majored in French and had traveled a little bit the way Scott had. The body language going on was excellent, and I was hoping for an easy way out of the evening. Alas, no.
Anyway, I give Scott points for hitting the dance floor, knowing a lot of the music, and talking about his clubbing experiences in Europe -- particularly Germany, which has a hardcore Goth scene. But the two awkward discusions we had kinda cancelled that out.
The first one came when he asked, "So, are you planning to vacuum anytime soon?" I explained that once my brain started working, I realized that there was no way I was inviting a strange guy into my home, and that's why we were meeting at the bar. And I explained that I had no intention of bringing anyone home anytime soon, because I had had a lot of casual sex and wasn't going to bring a guy home for the sake of bringing him home, because I have more respect for myself than that. He kinda nodded but I could tell that he didn't quite get it.
Then, at the end of the night -- after an evening where I kept my body at least a foot or two away from his all night -- he tried for the kiss!!!!! I was shocked into bluntness: "I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling it," I said. "I think we have some baseline incompatibilities." His response: "I think you're right, but you sure are picky." He followed *that* up with how he didn't want a relationship and didn't want any kind of involvement outside of sex. My explanation that sex IS an involvement with someone obviously fell on deaf ears. And I had to tell him that he lacked the street smarts (cynicism, knowledge of the actual world) that I need in someone I'm around. He agreed that he has never been street smart. How he survived eight years of living in Paris, Algeria and Croatia without picking some up, I have no idea.
Anyway, I told him to feel free to come back to goth night and hang out. We'll see if he does. He's a nice enough guy, but honestly, there was no way he could keep up with me, in terms of intellectual quickness, world views, etc. And quite frankly, I'm seduced by someone's mind more than his body, and this guy had no desire to have a conversation. What. Ever.
What I find to the be the most interesting piece of all of this is that my friend Jon totally pegged Scott as a rich boy based on my description of him -- and he was. At the end of the night, Scott drove up to the front door of the bar in a sweet little two-seater Mercedes. The college he went to is incredibly expensive, and the jobs he had in Europe were not ones that paid well. Jon speculated that Scott had to be trust funded, and obviously he was right. Even if Scott doesn't have money of his own and he borrowed that car, it's obvious that he grew up with money. Hence the lack of street smarts and knowledge of how the world works.
The moral of the story is that I'm pulling my profile from AFF. As Jon pointed out, there's no reason to have my profile on a sex site if that's not exactly what I'm looking for. After meeting Scott, I realized that he had a point.
Aside from Scott, I had a terrific time last night. I spent most of the night on the dance floor, and damn, am I feeling it this morning. But it was wonderful! I think the drug switch has given me enough energy to put clubbing back into my life, and I'm hoping to make it out on a regular basis. Besides, there were lots of cute guys in the bar last night, and if I go back, I might get to meet one of them. :)
Let me tell you, some people photograph *really* well. In his photo, Scott looked all strong-jawed and sweet. In person, his looks telegraphed insecurity, awkwardness and a little bit of inherent dorkiness. Ironically, I've dated lots of guys who are dorky, and usually I find that attractive. But the combo didn't work for Scott, because he was, well, a bit like a wet noodle. Limp. No confidence.
I got to Mars Bar before Scott did and had a great time meeting up with the friends I hadn't seen in a few months. When Scott arrived, I knew instantly that this wasn't going anywhere. Luckily, he spent a long while talking to Leighton's friend Kristina, who majored in French and had traveled a little bit the way Scott had. The body language going on was excellent, and I was hoping for an easy way out of the evening. Alas, no.
Anyway, I give Scott points for hitting the dance floor, knowing a lot of the music, and talking about his clubbing experiences in Europe -- particularly Germany, which has a hardcore Goth scene. But the two awkward discusions we had kinda cancelled that out.
The first one came when he asked, "So, are you planning to vacuum anytime soon?" I explained that once my brain started working, I realized that there was no way I was inviting a strange guy into my home, and that's why we were meeting at the bar. And I explained that I had no intention of bringing anyone home anytime soon, because I had had a lot of casual sex and wasn't going to bring a guy home for the sake of bringing him home, because I have more respect for myself than that. He kinda nodded but I could tell that he didn't quite get it.
Then, at the end of the night -- after an evening where I kept my body at least a foot or two away from his all night -- he tried for the kiss!!!!! I was shocked into bluntness: "I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling it," I said. "I think we have some baseline incompatibilities." His response: "I think you're right, but you sure are picky." He followed *that* up with how he didn't want a relationship and didn't want any kind of involvement outside of sex. My explanation that sex IS an involvement with someone obviously fell on deaf ears. And I had to tell him that he lacked the street smarts (cynicism, knowledge of the actual world) that I need in someone I'm around. He agreed that he has never been street smart. How he survived eight years of living in Paris, Algeria and Croatia without picking some up, I have no idea.
Anyway, I told him to feel free to come back to goth night and hang out. We'll see if he does. He's a nice enough guy, but honestly, there was no way he could keep up with me, in terms of intellectual quickness, world views, etc. And quite frankly, I'm seduced by someone's mind more than his body, and this guy had no desire to have a conversation. What. Ever.
What I find to the be the most interesting piece of all of this is that my friend Jon totally pegged Scott as a rich boy based on my description of him -- and he was. At the end of the night, Scott drove up to the front door of the bar in a sweet little two-seater Mercedes. The college he went to is incredibly expensive, and the jobs he had in Europe were not ones that paid well. Jon speculated that Scott had to be trust funded, and obviously he was right. Even if Scott doesn't have money of his own and he borrowed that car, it's obvious that he grew up with money. Hence the lack of street smarts and knowledge of how the world works.
The moral of the story is that I'm pulling my profile from AFF. As Jon pointed out, there's no reason to have my profile on a sex site if that's not exactly what I'm looking for. After meeting Scott, I realized that he had a point.
Aside from Scott, I had a terrific time last night. I spent most of the night on the dance floor, and damn, am I feeling it this morning. But it was wonderful! I think the drug switch has given me enough energy to put clubbing back into my life, and I'm hoping to make it out on a regular basis. Besides, there were lots of cute guys in the bar last night, and if I go back, I might get to meet one of them. :)