(no subject)
So Rummy went down to Mississippi for the week and dropped me off at Ed's place to supposedly stay out of trouble for a few days. Uh... we're in the hospital now waiting to get discharged, hopefully before he gets home tonight. At least they have wifi here. I'm not supposed to have my laptop out because it could throw off some of the equipment, luckily the nurses are so enamored with Ed right now they're not paying any attention.
All right, story time,even if I'm not very good at telling them.. but this was weirder than one of those bad action movies that never made it to theaters.
So I'm over at Ed's, putting my Jeep back together (since it's still in pieces from the whole bug incident) and Ed restless over this whole business in Mississippi with this woman he served with who was thinking she's had his baby. So he suggests we drive up to New York and hit a few 'good' bars, maybe pick up some ladies because apparently they're prettier up there (mind you I'm paraphrasing because I still can't understand half the things he says to me.) I finally agree and we take his SUV and it's a pretty quiet trip, and we settle into a really nice hotel in Manhattan because Ed's Grandfather knows the owner; fancy too, like the room is larger than the house I grew up in, and they have a bar in there too, and everything smells like fresh linen and over ripe fruit. (And I'm nearly speechless because I was sort of a small town boy and have never seen a building over six stories.) We get a buzz started at the hotel, then take a cab to China Town since Ed's in the mood for something more exotic.. and this is where is starts getting weird.
(I'll even start a new paragraph for this) So we're settled into this sushi joint I won't touch the stuff since I refuse to put anything in my mouth that may have had tentacles once And Ed's getting cozy with a pretty asain woman named Mai and I'm trying to make polite conversation with her friend Ling who keeps pouring us both sake and soju-- and then these four guys just bust in with guns. Which by then I'm drunk enough to find that funny, and Ed's not paying a bit of attention but Mai goes ghost white and rambles something off about how those guys are after her, and we need to get the fuck out of there now (at that point she lost her charming Asian accent) They spot her, and we go tumbling to the back door with them after us, and I don't know what they're thinking because they're shooting and Ed thinks that would be a brilliant time to realize what's going on so he's shooting back and somewhere between all the screaming and the windows shattering we make it to the parking lot. It takes us exactly four minutes to realize why we can't find the car, and exactly two for Ed to break into a new one and hot wire it. Luckily it took the gunmen that six minutes to get through the hysterical crowd to get back outside in time for us to peel out of there.
(Right now Ed's reminding me to point out how awesome he was 'busting caps in those mother fucker's asses' ) Anyway Mai directs us to the docks, because she knows of a safe place to lay low for awhile, so we park and wait for awhile and... well I'm not going to go into how Mai wanted to thank us for our help, lets just say it didn't take long for Ed to find out that she was uh... actually a he. So ten minutes of awkward silence between us, and I pop the trunk to the car because I keep smelling something weird, and there's nothing back there but a duffle bag-- only it smells like blood and cheap perfume but I hardly realize it in time for Ed to open it and-- well he goes to throw up, which is probably one of the best reactions to have when finding a bag full of severed hooker's heads. Turns out in a weird twist of fate the car we'd stolen belonged to the gunmen who were after Mai. Quickest I've ever sobered up. So I go to calm Ed down, and this car pulls up. Well Mai figures it's the friends that she.. er he called, only it turns out to be those same guys that were after him/her...whatever. So they start shooting again and we're scrambling and Ed's shooting back and I didn't bring my sword with me so I have to go at one bare handed, luckily it's dark as shit and that gives us the advantage. I actually don't remember much of the fight, but at some point I got hit and cracked my skull on the hood of the car.
When I come to we're driving again, and Ed's screaming bloody murder about ... god knows what, and the inside of my mouth tastes like something died in it, and Mai's screaming back and we have to be going at least a hundred because the buildings whizzing by outside the windows so fast that it's a blur of lights. I managed to sit up and ask what happened, and I guess Ed thought I was dead or something because he just looks at me and start's crying... and I don' t know how he got his big ass in the back seat so fast, or if my ribs were cracked before he hugged me.
We ended up at the police station, since, you know, Ed's Grandfather has connections everywhere. And we're apparently heroes for bringing down the guys who've been murdering prostitutes down in China town for months now. We say goodbye to Mai and they ship us off to the hospital to yank a few bullets out and stick on a couple of bandaids, and we get a helicopter ride back to Maryland. Which brings me back to where I started.
So how was everyone else's week?
All right, story time,even if I'm not very good at telling them.. but this was weirder than one of those bad action movies that never made it to theaters.
So I'm over at Ed's, putting my Jeep back together (since it's still in pieces from the whole bug incident) and Ed restless over this whole business in Mississippi with this woman he served with who was thinking she's had his baby. So he suggests we drive up to New York and hit a few 'good' bars, maybe pick up some ladies because apparently they're prettier up there (mind you I'm paraphrasing because I still can't understand half the things he says to me.) I finally agree and we take his SUV and it's a pretty quiet trip, and we settle into a really nice hotel in Manhattan because Ed's Grandfather knows the owner; fancy too, like the room is larger than the house I grew up in, and they have a bar in there too, and everything smells like fresh linen and over ripe fruit. (And I'm nearly speechless because I was sort of a small town boy and have never seen a building over six stories.) We get a buzz started at the hotel, then take a cab to China Town since Ed's in the mood for something more exotic.. and this is where is starts getting weird.
(I'll even start a new paragraph for this) So we're settled into this sushi joint I won't touch the stuff since I refuse to put anything in my mouth that may have had tentacles once And Ed's getting cozy with a pretty asain woman named Mai and I'm trying to make polite conversation with her friend Ling who keeps pouring us both sake and soju-- and then these four guys just bust in with guns. Which by then I'm drunk enough to find that funny, and Ed's not paying a bit of attention but Mai goes ghost white and rambles something off about how those guys are after her, and we need to get the fuck out of there now (at that point she lost her charming Asian accent) They spot her, and we go tumbling to the back door with them after us, and I don't know what they're thinking because they're shooting and Ed thinks that would be a brilliant time to realize what's going on so he's shooting back and somewhere between all the screaming and the windows shattering we make it to the parking lot. It takes us exactly four minutes to realize why we can't find the car, and exactly two for Ed to break into a new one and hot wire it. Luckily it took the gunmen that six minutes to get through the hysterical crowd to get back outside in time for us to peel out of there.
(Right now Ed's reminding me to point out how awesome he was 'busting caps in those mother fucker's asses' ) Anyway Mai directs us to the docks, because she knows of a safe place to lay low for awhile, so we park and wait for awhile and... well I'm not going to go into how Mai wanted to thank us for our help, lets just say it didn't take long for Ed to find out that she was uh... actually a he. So ten minutes of awkward silence between us, and I pop the trunk to the car because I keep smelling something weird, and there's nothing back there but a duffle bag-- only it smells like blood and cheap perfume but I hardly realize it in time for Ed to open it and-- well he goes to throw up, which is probably one of the best reactions to have when finding a bag full of severed hooker's heads. Turns out in a weird twist of fate the car we'd stolen belonged to the gunmen who were after Mai. Quickest I've ever sobered up. So I go to calm Ed down, and this car pulls up. Well Mai figures it's the friends that she.. er he called, only it turns out to be those same guys that were after him/her...whatever. So they start shooting again and we're scrambling and Ed's shooting back and I didn't bring my sword with me so I have to go at one bare handed, luckily it's dark as shit and that gives us the advantage. I actually don't remember much of the fight, but at some point I got hit and cracked my skull on the hood of the car.
When I come to we're driving again, and Ed's screaming bloody murder about ... god knows what, and the inside of my mouth tastes like something died in it, and Mai's screaming back and we have to be going at least a hundred because the buildings whizzing by outside the windows so fast that it's a blur of lights. I managed to sit up and ask what happened, and I guess Ed thought I was dead or something because he just looks at me and start's crying... and I don' t know how he got his big ass in the back seat so fast, or if my ribs were cracked before he hugged me.
We ended up at the police station, since, you know, Ed's Grandfather has connections everywhere. And we're apparently heroes for bringing down the guys who've been murdering prostitutes down in China town for months now. We say goodbye to Mai and they ship us off to the hospital to yank a few bullets out and stick on a couple of bandaids, and we get a helicopter ride back to Maryland. Which brings me back to where I started.
So how was everyone else's week?