Gone from my sight - How to Deal With Grief

[gooddaymoderato]

Funny story. Today I went to the Apple store to get a new power cord for my laptop (Kwon Leedah)  since mine burnt out. When the guy turned on my laptop to see if the battery was charging, my Big Bang wallpaper popped up. Not only that, I have the function set where the wallpaper changes every 5 seconds, but they're all big bang wallpapers so it was like a big bang bananza. hahaha.

I'm finally writing my grief post. I put it off due to a combination of laziness and just being busy.

Tasks of Mourning - by Dr. William Worden

• To accept the reality of the loss
  
• To work through the pain of grief
• To adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing
• To emotionally relocate the deceased and move on with life
  
  • such as believing your deceased one now lives in your heart instead of your physical world

Coping With Grief

• Accept yourself
• Take care of yourself
• Accept the care of tohers
• Maintain your basic lifestyle
  
  • most people move to get away from the grief, but it's not a good idea since moving will just give you more stress
• Live one day at a time
• Forgive yourself
• Seek support

Stages the Dying Will Go Through When They Learn They are Dying* - by Kubler-Ross

• Denial (the brain's way of cushioning the shock)
• Anger
• Bargaining
  
  • ex: I promise to be a good person if I make it through this disease
• Depression - may be a result from medical condition or all the drugs the dying person is recieving
• Acceptance

*Note: Stages can go back and forth. For example. a person can be in denial and then get angry, but then go back to being in denial.

3 Signs of Approaching Death

• Eating habits change
  • When the kidneys fail and can't process the body's waste anymore, waste builds up and this causes them to not feel like eating. This is also why sometimes you see the dying puffy. If the body cannot process the waste anymore, it probably isn't a good idea to force feed the person just to keep them alive. Their body just might not be able to handle food anymore.
• Sleeping habits change
  
  • They sleep more and more
• Withdrawal from the world around them
  
  • Their world is shrinking to their immediate environment
  • ex: their hospital room + their immediate family
  • The body and spirit is trying to prepare to move on - they're shrinking into a dying person.

Other Indicators of Death

• Loss of bladder and bowel control
• Disorientation - agitation, talking to the unseen, picking
• Purplish, blotchy knees, feet, hands
  
  • Some times hospital nurses and doctors will look at the feet to see if the person is about to die because if their feet are turning purple, that means the blood is rushing upwards and they're slowly dying
• Changes in blood pressure, etc
• Breathing changes
  
  • This is why nurses and doctors keep giving the dying morphine because it evens out their breathing, but when they receive too much, it's like being in a comatose.

Emotional and Psychosocial Needs of the Dying - Things you need to know to help the dying feel easier about leaving

• Maintain control over their lives
  • Sometimes the dying will attempt to live through their loved ones. Perhaps they cannot carry on daily tasks that they want done - like keeping their lawn trimmed - so the loved ones should help them do these types of things.
• To have an opportunity to talk about death
• To remain connected to family and friends
• Time to adjust to the reality
• To feel a sense of integrity and completeness
• Permission to leave
  
  • they need to know survivors will be okay without them

Random Tidbits

• People often know when they're about to die
• Women move through the grief process more effectively than men
  
  • they talk more with their friends and manage social relationships
• Men seems to move on much faster than women (getting remarried)
• People who have strokes are more prone to depression
  
  • This is because the lack of blood flow prevents seratonin (a neurotransmitter that induces happy feelings) to be able to be delivered to the brain
• Hearing is the last sensation to go
  
  • Even if someone is in a coma or they can't open their eyes or speak anymore, you could still talk to them because they can most likely still hear you
  • You know how sometimes families will say goodbye to the dying person and even though they're eyes are closed and they're unable to move, tears stream down their face because they're touched by what their family said to them

I probably could go more in-depth, but I'm tired from preparing for my nephew's birthday-halloween party tomorrow. He turned 2 on Thursday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY , TRISTAN ~ ^^

I have two exams this week. Hopefully I do well so I can maintain my good grades. FIGHTING~

Work is really taking away from my study + computer time. T_T

On a brighter note:





I was planning to gif this, but someone else already did it. Yay!
Darn the text! I want to see all of his footwork, but dang, he looks so cool without even trying! Could this be a new dance routine for one of their new songs? I can't wait for their new Korean album, but since I'm still enjoying the Number 1 album, I'm content for the moment. ^^

Credit: as tagged + bbvipz

Good night.