but they never make it past my mouth
today:
i am sick of always being tired. i am sick of closing my eyes for 2 seconds and falling asleep instantly. i am sick of sleeping on the subway and on elevators and in class and coming home and falling asleep on the floor. i am sick of waking up from these little bouts of sleep and not knowing what day it is and where i should be at the moment.
ohhhh shit. i am so screwed for everything in school. a) i will fail chem regents b) have not been going to community service c) always semi-asleep d) am ALWAYS ALWAYS fucking late.
sources of happiness coming in the next 3 months revolve around shows: we are scientists, saves the day, ben kweller/death cab, and the strokes in the park. i am very excited for all four, and especially the last one.
i am becoming more and more aware of how much i hold people at a distance. i don't care if that sounds entirely like bullshit, because its true. i should not be allowed to have friends anymore. i am a bad friend. i don't understand why i hate being around people so much. why i can't be happy for people. why i cant relate to anyone. why i cant stop mentally picking people apart.
lastly, i really need a photo project idea. stupid teacher shot down all my ideas. asshole. i don't get what he wants.
i am sick of always being tired. i am sick of closing my eyes for 2 seconds and falling asleep instantly. i am sick of sleeping on the subway and on elevators and in class and coming home and falling asleep on the floor. i am sick of waking up from these little bouts of sleep and not knowing what day it is and where i should be at the moment.
ohhhh shit. i am so screwed for everything in school. a) i will fail chem regents b) have not been going to community service c) always semi-asleep d) am ALWAYS ALWAYS fucking late.
sources of happiness coming in the next 3 months revolve around shows: we are scientists, saves the day, ben kweller/death cab, and the strokes in the park. i am very excited for all four, and especially the last one.
i am becoming more and more aware of how much i hold people at a distance. i don't care if that sounds entirely like bullshit, because its true. i should not be allowed to have friends anymore. i am a bad friend. i don't understand why i hate being around people so much. why i can't be happy for people. why i cant relate to anyone. why i cant stop mentally picking people apart.
lastly, i really need a photo project idea. stupid teacher shot down all my ideas. asshole. i don't get what he wants.