(no subject)
lord. i feel like i have a lot to write. and i just sat here with my fingers hovering over the keyboard for like 5 minutes, trying to figure out what it was. it seemed important.
ok let's make this random.
why cant i be happy for people? people that are my friends at that. and friends who have treated me so well over the past couple of years. this person has been way too nice to me, to a point that i do not deserve. and yet, when she is happy i get upset? no. wrong. stupid. i guess i'm just jealous. duh. that's what being around happy people will do to me. the thing with her and that guy is going so effin well, and they're so effin cute together. i don't know why i can't just suck up my jealousy and be happy for her. it just seems as though she started from the same place as i always do and it ended up well. while i am so used to these things ending up tragic and heavy and confusing. i cringe at the thought of one person in particular. that was horrible. i feel so bad when she tells me about him and i can (obviously) barely pull a smile across my face. the truth of the matter though is that i am more likely to sit around being jealous and sulking than i am to attempt changing anything.
this weekend will be boring. but i'm gonna let that happen. because it's disgusting out and i don't want to leave the house until photography class tomorrow. so i will sit in my pajamas and that will be the end of it.
snatch is a damn good movie yall. i suggest you watch it.
ok let's make this random.
why cant i be happy for people? people that are my friends at that. and friends who have treated me so well over the past couple of years. this person has been way too nice to me, to a point that i do not deserve. and yet, when she is happy i get upset? no. wrong. stupid. i guess i'm just jealous. duh. that's what being around happy people will do to me. the thing with her and that guy is going so effin well, and they're so effin cute together. i don't know why i can't just suck up my jealousy and be happy for her. it just seems as though she started from the same place as i always do and it ended up well. while i am so used to these things ending up tragic and heavy and confusing. i cringe at the thought of one person in particular. that was horrible. i feel so bad when she tells me about him and i can (obviously) barely pull a smile across my face. the truth of the matter though is that i am more likely to sit around being jealous and sulking than i am to attempt changing anything.
this weekend will be boring. but i'm gonna let that happen. because it's disgusting out and i don't want to leave the house until photography class tomorrow. so i will sit in my pajamas and that will be the end of it.
snatch is a damn good movie yall. i suggest you watch it.