for the benefit of mr. kite
Oh my gosh, you guys. It's fall. AKA my most favorite time of year ever. Leaves on the ground and chilly mornings and sweaters and the smell! of bonfires and dying grass, I love it, I do.
School still basically sucks. I kind of hate it a lot. I keep telling myself that I also hated Washington when I first got there, for like six months. And I've only been here (and in school) for six weeks but still.
I never want to teach high school. I mean, seriously. What was I thinking? Just contemplating the insanity of parents, the hormone roller coasters of fifteen-year-olds, the complete and utter batshit-craziness of testing nowadays, not to mention about four thousand other things.
I want to teach college. I really, really do. I want kids who (relatively) want to be there, I want to have (slightly) more freedom in what I teach - or at least not have to worry constantly that my students won't pass a multiple choice test and therefore have my school's funding pulled. It's what I've wanted to do since I was in college myself, I was just too afraid to do a plain English MA. Plus my parents subtly pressuring me into Education, because teachers are always needed. In the world. Or whatever. I sit in my classes and just think about all the reasons why I don't want to be a high school teacher. The prospect of it just makes me want to vomit. Or something.
I'm applying to the English department for sure. I haven't actually started my application yet, but I need to very soon. I may or may not drop out of the College of Education if and when I get into the College of Arts and Sciences. I don't know yet.
I just need to be out of here in a reasonable amount of time. Meaning three years or less.
Ugh. My life just feels like a big, huge mess. I need to to be January. I need to start over.
I feel like I'm writing the same shit over and over. When does real life start?
School still basically sucks. I kind of hate it a lot. I keep telling myself that I also hated Washington when I first got there, for like six months. And I've only been here (and in school) for six weeks but still.
I never want to teach high school. I mean, seriously. What was I thinking? Just contemplating the insanity of parents, the hormone roller coasters of fifteen-year-olds, the complete and utter batshit-craziness of testing nowadays, not to mention about four thousand other things.
I want to teach college. I really, really do. I want kids who (relatively) want to be there, I want to have (slightly) more freedom in what I teach - or at least not have to worry constantly that my students won't pass a multiple choice test and therefore have my school's funding pulled. It's what I've wanted to do since I was in college myself, I was just too afraid to do a plain English MA. Plus my parents subtly pressuring me into Education, because teachers are always needed. In the world. Or whatever. I sit in my classes and just think about all the reasons why I don't want to be a high school teacher. The prospect of it just makes me want to vomit. Or something.
I'm applying to the English department for sure. I haven't actually started my application yet, but I need to very soon. I may or may not drop out of the College of Education if and when I get into the College of Arts and Sciences. I don't know yet.
I just need to be out of here in a reasonable amount of time. Meaning three years or less.
Ugh. My life just feels like a big, huge mess. I need to to be January. I need to start over.
I feel like I'm writing the same shit over and over. When does real life start?