A Place To Hide - Part 12
Title: A Place To Hide
Pairing: Emily/Naomi
Rating: Quite a bit of swearing, 'F' and 'C' words so probably R.
Word Count: 1,823
Disclaimer: I don't any of Skins or any of the characters, although i do wish Lily Loveless was mine ;-)
Summary: The characters are stolen from Skins in order for me to write about something that's gone on in my life recently. These are totally real events that have happened to me, but i'm trying to tell them from an outside narrators angle and keep a bit of distance from them. Hopefully it won't all come across to angsty lol. Don't really know how many parts this will have, depends how ridiculously soap-opera like my life becomes lol.
“Fucks sake Ems, pick up.” Naomi murmured to the ringing phone, biting her nails and perching on a cold wall outside her favourite record shop. “Fuck!” A few old grannies turned to look at her as her words bounced around the quiet morning streets, but she just scowled right back at them. She couldn’t figure out why Emily would be trying so hard to avoid her, she only wanted to make this right, surely Emily knew that.
She rang another four times, while smoking another fag, and eventually gave up and headed into the shop. She wasted about an hour looking through CDs and records before walking home and trying to call Emily another few times. This was really starting to get her down, all this uncertainty and being ignored.
When she got home, Naomi flopped down onto the sofa and flicked through countless rubbish TV shows, but all she could think about was the redhead who was her future.
Across town, Emily was just waking up and stretching - making the same noise that turned Effy on so much. Effy, however, was nowhere to be seen. Assuming that she’d done the only thing that Emily could imagine Effy doing, leaving the second she got the chance, the redhead pulled herself out of the ridiculously comfy bed and started to search for her clothes. Her head was thumping like a jackhammer, and all she could think about was finding her clothes to get out of the room that smelt of sex, booze and cigarettes and was making her feel more nauseous by the second. She got the horrible feeling that it wasn’t the hangover that was making her feel like this, it was the guilt. Guilt at betraying the blonde, who may not care about this thing between them as much as she did, but she couldn’t stop feeling a wrenching in her gut anyway.
She managed to find her shirt, and started buttoning it with a hell of a lot of trouble, before she felt a sudden need to throw up. Sprinting to the end of the hall, to where she fucking well hoped the bathroom was, she heard a raised voice downstairs. Once she’d finished emptying her lurching stomach into the toilet, she edged back out onto the upstairs landing and caught a few words of the conversation below.
“Tony, please, just come home. I need you. Mum needs you.” Effy had never sounded so broken to Emily and she felt like the biggest intruder ever. She felt like she should never have come here, never intruded on Effy’s private pain.
She rushed back to the bedroom and pulled on her skirt, jacket and shoes, and finally finding her phone lurking under the bed. She didn’t even check it, just stuffed it in her pocket - wanting to get out of there as soon as she could.
She crept down the stairs, not really knowing why she wanted to stay quiet, and made herself jump when she stepped onto a creaky floorboard. Effy appeared in front of her in a flash, Emily hadn’t even heard her approaching, with a poisonous, accusing look on her face.
Effy felt her face soften a little when she saw the fear on the redhead’s face, and immediately hated herself for doing it, normally she wouldn’t give a shit whether she’d upset someone or not - but with Emily it was different. That look on her face, like she’d always expected you to hurt her and by doing so you were just proving her right, was what broke Effy and was probably what got to that Naomi girl as well. So instead of just glaring down the small girl that was practically cowering on the stairs, she just gave her a well practiced knowing smile.
“Hey,” she said quietly, “Sleep well?”
“Yeah, thanks. Your bed’s really comfy.” Emily said with a relieved smile.
“Yeah I know,” Effy smirked to herself, wanting to make some sex related joke but not knowing if the fragile girl before her could handle it. “You off?” she said instead.
“Mmhmm.” Emily murmured, bending down to sort out her shoes which had been so hastily shoved on. “I thought I might...”
“... go and see the beautiful blonde?” Effy finished for her. She was starting to do that far too much, ‘get the fuck over this shit’ she thought. She tried to convince herself that it was just because of what was going on with her mum, that she was feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable.
“Yeah, I left without letting her explain. I mean, shit, she might actually have broken up with him last night or something.” Emily said, without much hope.
“Yeah she might have done,” she replied, without her usual scathing sarcasm. She couldn’t stand the redhead looking so fucking broken.
Emily gave her a beaming smile in return and turned to leave. Effy watched her walk down the narrow passage to the door, and felt her mouth opening, felt herself wanting to say something to stop her. Emily paused with the door half open and turned to look at the stick thin brunette watching her, and said with a faint blush: “Thanks for last night. I needed it.”
And with that she was gone, leaving Effy alone again. “Yeah, me too.” She said quietly to herself, before turning back into the kitchen and picking up the broken pieces of her phone that she’d smashed on the tiles after her conversation with her brother, Tony.
Emily walked slowly along Effy’s street, noticing how different it looked when it wasn’t viewed through eyes clouded with tears. She took out her phone and flipped it open, noticing several missed calls from both Katie and Naomi. Ignoring them all for now, she flicked down through about a dozen messages, again from the two most important people in her life. All of Katie’s went along the lines of “get the fuck home now, or I’ll tell mum and dad” and had increasing amounts of exclamation marks on the end. She sent Katie a quick text, just so she wouldn’t be bothered any more, at least for now. She told her that she’d been upset and stayed at Effy’s and not to worry. It was almost the truth.
It was Naomi’s messages that were harder to deal with, they were an overwhelming combination of worry, guilt, fear and love. The minute she began reading them, Emily felt tears well up in her eyes. She couldn’t deal with everything between them via text, so instead she closed all the messages and headed straight to the house that she needed to be at, to the girl she needed to see.
Naomi’s house seemed so much fucking further away when she was walking like this. She would have run, except for the fear of firstly looking like a sweaty idiot, and secondly looking like a desperate loser. She realised immediately after she thought it, that it was a stupid thing to worry about, that Naomi would probably just love it and smile a stupid smile at her hair sticking to her sweaty face. But she promised herself that she wouldn’t run, that she would walk and think it through, think about what she’d say to Naomi or she would just end up kissing her and falling into her arms. That wasn’t what she wanted; she didn’t want it to be like it had always been, with Emily being second best. It was all or nothing now.
For the third time in as many days, she lingered at the end of Naomi’s garden path. This time, though, when the door opened, the blonde stood there was exactly the one she wanted. Naomi lingered in the doorway, biting her lip until she started to taste blood. She didn’t want to rush Emily, didn’t want her to feel like Naomi was going to take charge again. This was all on Emily now, up to her to draw the boundaries, because this time the blonde would do whatever the other girl wanted.
Emily walked slowly up the path, all she could hear was a strangely magnified version of her footsteps, and stopped at the bottom of the porch steps.
“Were you telling the truth, in your text? Is it true? He’s gone?” Emily tried to sound strong, like she wouldn’t shatter into a billion tiny pieces if Naomi told her it was all a lie.
Instead the tall girl just nodded, silent and with a strong sting in her eyes, stubbornly wiping away a single stubborn tear. She swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat that just seemed to be growing by the second, and held out her hand for Emily.
“It’s you Ems, it’s just you.” Naomi whispered, not trusting her voice to go any louder without breaking down completely. “I lo-”
Emily couldn’t hold herself back any longer. She stepped quickly up the steps and pushed a finger to the blonde’s lips, silencing her mid-sentence. “Don’t, not now. If you mean it then say it later. All the pain, it’s just too recent. I need time, we need time.”
The two girls stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments, weighing each other up, trying to judge where they stood with each other. Gina watched them from the kitchen, a tiny smile playing on her lips as she heard the words exchanged between them, saw her daughter nod and take a step towards the redhead.
“It’s not a fairytale Nai, everything doesn’t just magically become ok as we walk into the sunset. We’re gonna have to really fucking work on this, ok?” she whispered into the taller girls ear, standing on tiptoes as they held each other. She felt the other girl nod next to her cheek, and let out a great shuddering breath as she felt a few warm tears drop onto her shoulder and soak through her shirt. “I want this so much, Nai, just tell me we can have it.” She murmured, her voice cracking on almost every word.
Naomi couldn’t stop the tears that were flowing freely now, the tears that she’d held onto all night. She tried to speak but couldn’t, like she was drowning in her own tears, so instead she just nodded and pulled away to meet the redhead’s eyes - hoping desperately that it was enough for the other girl to see, to understand, to know that from now on it was them. Just them.
Emily smiled, a tearful and watery smile, and pulled Naomi forward by the front of her shirt and pressed their lips gently together. She didn’t think she would ever get used to the feel of the other girls lips, thought they would always surprise her into sighing, always send her stomach into endless somersaults and make goosebumps break out all over her exposed skin.
This was it for them, she thought, it was all up from there.
part 13
------
Ok, so firstly i'm well sorry it's been so long since my last update - not quite keeping up with the pace i set myself lol. I was pretty busy over the weekend, and also have had some trouble deciding where i wanted this to go. Since i decided to depart from reality I've had to think a lot more about what i do with the plot. However, you'll be pleased to know that i pretty much know where i'm going with this now so i shouldn't have such big delays anymore. Hope you're all still into this. Let me know what you think of this chapter :)
Pairing: Emily/Naomi
Rating: Quite a bit of swearing, 'F' and 'C' words so probably R.
Word Count: 1,823
Disclaimer: I don't any of Skins or any of the characters, although i do wish Lily Loveless was mine ;-)
Summary: The characters are stolen from Skins in order for me to write about something that's gone on in my life recently. These are totally real events that have happened to me, but i'm trying to tell them from an outside narrators angle and keep a bit of distance from them. Hopefully it won't all come across to angsty lol. Don't really know how many parts this will have, depends how ridiculously soap-opera like my life becomes lol.
“Fucks sake Ems, pick up.” Naomi murmured to the ringing phone, biting her nails and perching on a cold wall outside her favourite record shop. “Fuck!” A few old grannies turned to look at her as her words bounced around the quiet morning streets, but she just scowled right back at them. She couldn’t figure out why Emily would be trying so hard to avoid her, she only wanted to make this right, surely Emily knew that.
She rang another four times, while smoking another fag, and eventually gave up and headed into the shop. She wasted about an hour looking through CDs and records before walking home and trying to call Emily another few times. This was really starting to get her down, all this uncertainty and being ignored.
When she got home, Naomi flopped down onto the sofa and flicked through countless rubbish TV shows, but all she could think about was the redhead who was her future.
Across town, Emily was just waking up and stretching - making the same noise that turned Effy on so much. Effy, however, was nowhere to be seen. Assuming that she’d done the only thing that Emily could imagine Effy doing, leaving the second she got the chance, the redhead pulled herself out of the ridiculously comfy bed and started to search for her clothes. Her head was thumping like a jackhammer, and all she could think about was finding her clothes to get out of the room that smelt of sex, booze and cigarettes and was making her feel more nauseous by the second. She got the horrible feeling that it wasn’t the hangover that was making her feel like this, it was the guilt. Guilt at betraying the blonde, who may not care about this thing between them as much as she did, but she couldn’t stop feeling a wrenching in her gut anyway.
She managed to find her shirt, and started buttoning it with a hell of a lot of trouble, before she felt a sudden need to throw up. Sprinting to the end of the hall, to where she fucking well hoped the bathroom was, she heard a raised voice downstairs. Once she’d finished emptying her lurching stomach into the toilet, she edged back out onto the upstairs landing and caught a few words of the conversation below.
“Tony, please, just come home. I need you. Mum needs you.” Effy had never sounded so broken to Emily and she felt like the biggest intruder ever. She felt like she should never have come here, never intruded on Effy’s private pain.
She rushed back to the bedroom and pulled on her skirt, jacket and shoes, and finally finding her phone lurking under the bed. She didn’t even check it, just stuffed it in her pocket - wanting to get out of there as soon as she could.
She crept down the stairs, not really knowing why she wanted to stay quiet, and made herself jump when she stepped onto a creaky floorboard. Effy appeared in front of her in a flash, Emily hadn’t even heard her approaching, with a poisonous, accusing look on her face.
Effy felt her face soften a little when she saw the fear on the redhead’s face, and immediately hated herself for doing it, normally she wouldn’t give a shit whether she’d upset someone or not - but with Emily it was different. That look on her face, like she’d always expected you to hurt her and by doing so you were just proving her right, was what broke Effy and was probably what got to that Naomi girl as well. So instead of just glaring down the small girl that was practically cowering on the stairs, she just gave her a well practiced knowing smile.
“Hey,” she said quietly, “Sleep well?”
“Yeah, thanks. Your bed’s really comfy.” Emily said with a relieved smile.
“Yeah I know,” Effy smirked to herself, wanting to make some sex related joke but not knowing if the fragile girl before her could handle it. “You off?” she said instead.
“Mmhmm.” Emily murmured, bending down to sort out her shoes which had been so hastily shoved on. “I thought I might...”
“... go and see the beautiful blonde?” Effy finished for her. She was starting to do that far too much, ‘get the fuck over this shit’ she thought. She tried to convince herself that it was just because of what was going on with her mum, that she was feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable.
“Yeah, I left without letting her explain. I mean, shit, she might actually have broken up with him last night or something.” Emily said, without much hope.
“Yeah she might have done,” she replied, without her usual scathing sarcasm. She couldn’t stand the redhead looking so fucking broken.
Emily gave her a beaming smile in return and turned to leave. Effy watched her walk down the narrow passage to the door, and felt her mouth opening, felt herself wanting to say something to stop her. Emily paused with the door half open and turned to look at the stick thin brunette watching her, and said with a faint blush: “Thanks for last night. I needed it.”
And with that she was gone, leaving Effy alone again. “Yeah, me too.” She said quietly to herself, before turning back into the kitchen and picking up the broken pieces of her phone that she’d smashed on the tiles after her conversation with her brother, Tony.
Emily walked slowly along Effy’s street, noticing how different it looked when it wasn’t viewed through eyes clouded with tears. She took out her phone and flipped it open, noticing several missed calls from both Katie and Naomi. Ignoring them all for now, she flicked down through about a dozen messages, again from the two most important people in her life. All of Katie’s went along the lines of “get the fuck home now, or I’ll tell mum and dad” and had increasing amounts of exclamation marks on the end. She sent Katie a quick text, just so she wouldn’t be bothered any more, at least for now. She told her that she’d been upset and stayed at Effy’s and not to worry. It was almost the truth.
It was Naomi’s messages that were harder to deal with, they were an overwhelming combination of worry, guilt, fear and love. The minute she began reading them, Emily felt tears well up in her eyes. She couldn’t deal with everything between them via text, so instead she closed all the messages and headed straight to the house that she needed to be at, to the girl she needed to see.
Naomi’s house seemed so much fucking further away when she was walking like this. She would have run, except for the fear of firstly looking like a sweaty idiot, and secondly looking like a desperate loser. She realised immediately after she thought it, that it was a stupid thing to worry about, that Naomi would probably just love it and smile a stupid smile at her hair sticking to her sweaty face. But she promised herself that she wouldn’t run, that she would walk and think it through, think about what she’d say to Naomi or she would just end up kissing her and falling into her arms. That wasn’t what she wanted; she didn’t want it to be like it had always been, with Emily being second best. It was all or nothing now.
For the third time in as many days, she lingered at the end of Naomi’s garden path. This time, though, when the door opened, the blonde stood there was exactly the one she wanted. Naomi lingered in the doorway, biting her lip until she started to taste blood. She didn’t want to rush Emily, didn’t want her to feel like Naomi was going to take charge again. This was all on Emily now, up to her to draw the boundaries, because this time the blonde would do whatever the other girl wanted.
Emily walked slowly up the path, all she could hear was a strangely magnified version of her footsteps, and stopped at the bottom of the porch steps.
“Were you telling the truth, in your text? Is it true? He’s gone?” Emily tried to sound strong, like she wouldn’t shatter into a billion tiny pieces if Naomi told her it was all a lie.
Instead the tall girl just nodded, silent and with a strong sting in her eyes, stubbornly wiping away a single stubborn tear. She swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat that just seemed to be growing by the second, and held out her hand for Emily.
“It’s you Ems, it’s just you.” Naomi whispered, not trusting her voice to go any louder without breaking down completely. “I lo-”
Emily couldn’t hold herself back any longer. She stepped quickly up the steps and pushed a finger to the blonde’s lips, silencing her mid-sentence. “Don’t, not now. If you mean it then say it later. All the pain, it’s just too recent. I need time, we need time.”
The two girls stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments, weighing each other up, trying to judge where they stood with each other. Gina watched them from the kitchen, a tiny smile playing on her lips as she heard the words exchanged between them, saw her daughter nod and take a step towards the redhead.
“It’s not a fairytale Nai, everything doesn’t just magically become ok as we walk into the sunset. We’re gonna have to really fucking work on this, ok?” she whispered into the taller girls ear, standing on tiptoes as they held each other. She felt the other girl nod next to her cheek, and let out a great shuddering breath as she felt a few warm tears drop onto her shoulder and soak through her shirt. “I want this so much, Nai, just tell me we can have it.” She murmured, her voice cracking on almost every word.
Naomi couldn’t stop the tears that were flowing freely now, the tears that she’d held onto all night. She tried to speak but couldn’t, like she was drowning in her own tears, so instead she just nodded and pulled away to meet the redhead’s eyes - hoping desperately that it was enough for the other girl to see, to understand, to know that from now on it was them. Just them.
Emily smiled, a tearful and watery smile, and pulled Naomi forward by the front of her shirt and pressed their lips gently together. She didn’t think she would ever get used to the feel of the other girls lips, thought they would always surprise her into sighing, always send her stomach into endless somersaults and make goosebumps break out all over her exposed skin.
This was it for them, she thought, it was all up from there.
part 13
------
Ok, so firstly i'm well sorry it's been so long since my last update - not quite keeping up with the pace i set myself lol. I was pretty busy over the weekend, and also have had some trouble deciding where i wanted this to go. Since i decided to depart from reality I've had to think a lot more about what i do with the plot. However, you'll be pleased to know that i pretty much know where i'm going with this now so i shouldn't have such big delays anymore. Hope you're all still into this. Let me know what you think of this chapter :)