Fighting This Battle Alone.....

[goodbrunette]

Life is so hard to handle right now. Everything is. I'm happy I'm talking to someone tomorrow. Then maybe someone will talk back when I pour of my emotions.. Because I can't do it anymore. People always tell me to open up to them, then when I do, I just get an awkward stare, or silence. I feel truely alone today. It felt like I was being tugged at by 2 different things, and I wish I could just lay down and every thing would go away when I stood up once again. Alas, it isn't, and I have so much growing up to do, but... I have this sinking feeling that I'm going to have to do this alone.. no hands to be my bumpers, no hands to be my guides. I guess maybe I"m not being as hopeful but, I wish he would convey his true feelings, because it seems like he is hiding them, and trying to be light hearted and not care but... thats the farthest thing I want... I'm trying to be sincere, and tell people things so we can fix them, and jump over the hurdle... GOD! Life is so fucking confusing sometimes. Look at this rant! Passion conceals the deepest of emotions. I want some passion in my life besides my own. Fuck. And you know what else... I really enjoy laying with him... because... i feel like things will be okay... but the feeling goes away when we get up...

I think this will be my last actualy post until i get my new journal. Ciao..