(no subject)
Something from my past. I still remember the darkness.
When I was eight years old my family and I went to visit our relatives who lived just on the border of New South Whales. The gumtrees overhanging the river were like huge hands overhead dropping leaves into the water. I sat by the riverside with my grandfather as he was teaching me how to fish. I remember having a long conversation with my grandfather, but can’t remember what we talked about.
The day was hot and humid and I felt like swimming in the water that looked ever so inviting. I watched my uncle walking in the 3 foot shallow murky waters setting up mud crab cages while my brother ran alongside with a stick twice his height.
My uncle asked me to come for a swim in the shallows assuring my mother that I would be safe.
I remember the water being warm and the riverbed mud being stone cold. After playing in the water my brother got out and my uncle went back to check the mud crab cages.
What I remember next seems so surreal. I noticed a large mysterious fallen gumtree spaning from one side of the river to the other. The huge dead black tree looked over 1000 years old, and for some reason it allured me. I wanted to get a closer look so I walked ever so slowly towards the mysterious ancient tree. As I walked through the water the last thing I remember noticing was the white rippling water reflections projecting onto my chest, then I drowned to death.
I remember not being able to feel the ground beneath my feet, and this wasn’t a good sign because I didn’t know how to swim. All I remember was sinking and watching the light fade away to darkness as there was nothing I could do. I don’t recall being afraid or there being any pain. For the 30-40 seconds that I had no pulse or heartbeat, all I can remember seeing was the darkness (it makes me scared of hell).
I remember awaking to my uncle leaning over me. My grandfather was crying, his face was covered in tears and I was shivering in shock. Remarkably my uncle had spotted me and dove into the water to safe my life when he himself couldn’t swim. The rest of this day is a blur in my memory.
To know that my uncle would give his own life to save mine makes me appreciate him more than he will ever realise. Today my uncle is crippled, so much for karma.
Also, before I was born my mother was told that she could not have any more children after having my brother. The doctors told her if she was to get pregnant again she could risk her own life and that the baby would most likely miss-carriage due to thinning of the uterus walls. My mother fell pregnant again in 1984, and she decided to keep the baby despite the doctor’s orders. I came close to never have being born. Sometimes I think that I wasn’t meant to be and I wonder why I am still alive, I don’t know, but I am grateful for being alive and healthy, and having a good family, and have having such caring friends, and being able to see the sun rise each morning from my bedroom window.
When I was eight years old my family and I went to visit our relatives who lived just on the border of New South Whales. The gumtrees overhanging the river were like huge hands overhead dropping leaves into the water. I sat by the riverside with my grandfather as he was teaching me how to fish. I remember having a long conversation with my grandfather, but can’t remember what we talked about.
The day was hot and humid and I felt like swimming in the water that looked ever so inviting. I watched my uncle walking in the 3 foot shallow murky waters setting up mud crab cages while my brother ran alongside with a stick twice his height.
My uncle asked me to come for a swim in the shallows assuring my mother that I would be safe.
I remember the water being warm and the riverbed mud being stone cold. After playing in the water my brother got out and my uncle went back to check the mud crab cages.
What I remember next seems so surreal. I noticed a large mysterious fallen gumtree spaning from one side of the river to the other. The huge dead black tree looked over 1000 years old, and for some reason it allured me. I wanted to get a closer look so I walked ever so slowly towards the mysterious ancient tree. As I walked through the water the last thing I remember noticing was the white rippling water reflections projecting onto my chest, then I drowned to death.
I remember not being able to feel the ground beneath my feet, and this wasn’t a good sign because I didn’t know how to swim. All I remember was sinking and watching the light fade away to darkness as there was nothing I could do. I don’t recall being afraid or there being any pain. For the 30-40 seconds that I had no pulse or heartbeat, all I can remember seeing was the darkness (it makes me scared of hell).
I remember awaking to my uncle leaning over me. My grandfather was crying, his face was covered in tears and I was shivering in shock. Remarkably my uncle had spotted me and dove into the water to safe my life when he himself couldn’t swim. The rest of this day is a blur in my memory.
To know that my uncle would give his own life to save mine makes me appreciate him more than he will ever realise. Today my uncle is crippled, so much for karma.
Also, before I was born my mother was told that she could not have any more children after having my brother. The doctors told her if she was to get pregnant again she could risk her own life and that the baby would most likely miss-carriage due to thinning of the uterus walls. My mother fell pregnant again in 1984, and she decided to keep the baby despite the doctor’s orders. I came close to never have being born. Sometimes I think that I wasn’t meant to be and I wonder why I am still alive, I don’t know, but I am grateful for being alive and healthy, and having a good family, and have having such caring friends, and being able to see the sun rise each morning from my bedroom window.