The various musings of a clinically depressed housefrau
And so I'm back... I don't know why I left, low attention span probably, plus i accidentally deleted the app from my iphone and never thought to reinstall. I've deleted all my previous entries, a fresh start and all that jazz. Plus, reading back over them felt like I was reading the thoughts and experiences of a different person. I think I did try too much before to seem happier, more enthusiastic, likable even. Well there will be none of that here. I am what I am, and though I cant pretend to have even a small semblance of happiness in my heart right now, I expect as the days go on I will eventually tire of the sadness and a more joyful time will spread before me.
The weekend was a hard one. A hen weekend. A festival. A lot of drinking. A lot of other things. I am paying the price now. My days are filled with self loathing and dread. My nights are filled with horror and despair. I think I could maybe bear it if it weren't for the nightmares, they have truly terrified me like nothing else before has. I have never felt a fear like it. Sleep, beautiful sleep an escape from the mundane, I usually dream such wonderful dreams, full of lights and colour and magic and other nonsensical delights. Its now been replaced with paralysis and the sure and certain knowledge that the thing slithering over my bed and perching itself over my face is the most evil and horrific thing that I have ever come in contact with. My poor Jonathan listening to my incessant screaming this last few nights. I am scared, really really scared. Every time I think of the details my eyes fill with tears and I feel like, well i feel upset, and I dont know why. How should it cause such a reaction?
The weekend was a hard one. A hen weekend. A festival. A lot of drinking. A lot of other things. I am paying the price now. My days are filled with self loathing and dread. My nights are filled with horror and despair. I think I could maybe bear it if it weren't for the nightmares, they have truly terrified me like nothing else before has. I have never felt a fear like it. Sleep, beautiful sleep an escape from the mundane, I usually dream such wonderful dreams, full of lights and colour and magic and other nonsensical delights. Its now been replaced with paralysis and the sure and certain knowledge that the thing slithering over my bed and perching itself over my face is the most evil and horrific thing that I have ever come in contact with. My poor Jonathan listening to my incessant screaming this last few nights. I am scared, really really scared. Every time I think of the details my eyes fill with tears and I feel like, well i feel upset, and I dont know why. How should it cause such a reaction?