-True happiness is bliss-
Soooo yes dear friends ( who suck at commenting ) im back. I got back friday night. And ive been busy as all hell ever since. Haha. Friday night i went out with a bunch of my friends, saturday i spent most of the day cleanin out my moms old car casue she went and bought a new one sat. night. Then that night i went to see the exorcist: the begining. it was awesome, i highly recomend it. Then went to a vickis house and us and sara hung out for awhile. THen we got a hunger craving for pizza and cheese cake at mmmm about 4 in the morning so we up and went to wal mart. Then came home and ate while watchin the next exorcist movie. Then finally went to bed at oh arround 7:15, only to wake up at 9 for church. Lol. Then after church came home, took a shower, then went with my friend sara to visit her friend doug, then we went to the mall, then to a cook out at vicki's house, then to see anchorman, then i came home and i CRASHED. i was asleep by like 10:45 haha. weak. But anyway. yea.
Ive also offically decided that since no one REALLY actually reads this i really AM just gonna use it as a journal. and boy for once is there lots i have to tell my journal.
Obviously I went on my little trip to go see michael. And i can honnestly say it was absolutely amazing. To be totally honnest I dont think I have ever been more honnestly and truly happy in my life. I know that I probably didnt show it NEARLY as much as I should have. Things were kinda weird and akward, and I was just tryin to kinda fit in and everything, but honnestly i had such an amazing time. I loved everything about it there. I loved the area, it was so beautiful. I loved his family, i liked his friends. Everything. And more than anything i just love being arround him. He makes me feel like such a different person. He is the only one who makes me feel really good about myself. The only one who makes me feel beautiful. The only who has been there no matter what, through it all. He is the only one who makes me feel like its okay to me. And I miss him soooo fucking much now that he is gone. I hate not being arround him. I hate not being able to look into his eyes, or see him smile. I just can't wait to see him again.
It really sucks that i was so fucking happy, because I had to come home and realize what my life REALLY is. I got a brief glimps at happiness, and what it could be like, what it feels like. And then, in one quick fail swoop, it was all gone. I suppose i should still consider myself extremely blessed to even know that feeling, and to still have him in my life. I suppose i am just selfish.
Well i got to see james! it was really nice to see him. We have a horrid habbit of falling out of touch though. I think its cause we are both busy... or lazy... or maybe its both haha.
And i also got to see my other mike! wow that was really really nice. I havn't seen him since... gosh i dont even remember when. Its been QUITE awhile though. I really did miss him. But anyways
Imma go take a shower and get ready for the day. Might go see another movie with mike today. we'll see.
Well until next time... Ciao
Ohio Is For Lovers- Hawthorne Heights
Hey there, I know its hard to feel like i dont care at all
Where you are and how you feel with these lights off
as the wheels keep rolling on and on (and on and on)
Slow things down or speed them up
not enough or way too much
How are you when i'm gone?
And I can't make it on my own
Because my heart is in Ohio
So cut my wrists and black my eyes
So I can fall asleep tonight and die
Because you kill me
You know you do, you kill me well
You like it too, and I can tell
You never stop until my final breath is gone
Spare me just three last words
"I love you" is all she heard
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever
And I can't make it on my own
Because my heart is in Ohio
So cut my wrists and black my eyes
So I can fall asleep tonight and die
Because you kill me
You know you do, you kill me well
You like it too, and I can tell
You never stop until my final breath is gone
So cut my wrists and black my eyes
my final breath is gone
so I can fall asleep tonight
And I can't make it on my own
Because my heart is in Ohio
So cut my wrists and black my eyes
So I can fall asleep tonight and die
Because you kill me
you know you do, you kill me well
You like it too, and I can tell
You never stop until my final breath is gone