Matt's having his nervous breakdown this week
You know? Fuck it. Details. Why the hell not?
I have a new girlfriend. I've been seeing her, when I can, for a few months now, she's an old friend, and we've just recently really decided we want to be together. She's...
Quite honestly, she's just about the only thing that makes my life worth living, who makes me feel like I'm worth being alive. Yep, declared love, and it's awesome.
But like I said, she's the only good thing in my life. Last weekend, I got out of town for a few days into Casper for a VD test (if one's gonna start dating again, one should be responsible) and Misty, the now-ex-gf, found herself a few boyfriend. Which, on one hand, is a good thing, because it means she's not pathetically begging me for sex anymore, but on the other hand, means that she's having him over to the house to fuck every chance she gets, which she claims is a lot, and she likes to give me numbers ("I wore him out last night"), my house, and I'm having a little trouble dealing with it.
What? I was with the girl for six years, so yeah, I'm gonna have a little trouble. I mean, it's not too bad, I'm only lost my job and puked twice...
Yeah, that sounds as bad as it is. It's been very, very hard.
But since she's been bringing him over and, I'm pretty sure based on the lack of evidence in the trash, fucking this white supremesist biker boy bareback, and yeah, that bothers me, she's given me her permission to bring my girlfriend, the girl I've fallen in love with over, and so I have three times this week.
Sadly for me, between Sunday and last night, I wasn't... able to cum. I fucked okay, but lost it before my ending. Happens when all's not right in my head.
And last night, oh last night, I very carefully and closely made love to her, not fucking, making love, gorgeous love, and finally, finally, was able to allow myself a release. It was so intense I started crying there on her shoulder as I did it. A bunch of the feelings that I've been needing to release coming out, not all of them, and I stifled some of the crying later because hey, crying's not sexy, but I've really been having a hard time with no way to express it, and her letting me be with her, that helps immesurably.
I am so fucking in love with her. I'm not gonna say if she's the One right now, because I don't know, but as far as her helping me split up with Misty, and now dealing with the aftermath... She one of the best friends I've ever had, and the only friend who just wants to listen and not say I Told You So about her, and really help me work through it and get the hell over all this. Because it is so very hard for me. Really, I'm a fucking wreck. No offense to any other friends trying to help me, she's just doing a better job. And probably, for the most part, you're just too far away.
She doesn't make it all go away, but she does make it tolerable when she's with me. She's patient enough to be okay with it not all going away, and to wait it out with me. She makes me feel so much better, and I really don't know what I'd do without her right now.
And I wanted to tell you all that I love her, that I'm in love with a wonderful girl, and that I'm in so much pain right now that I don't know what to do, except let her be with me, every chance I get. I so love her, so very much.
Okay, sappy over, gonna try to add an hour or two to my three hour's sleep tonight. Because they were back there fucking in the room I set up for them, for her, since I decided to stop letting her have my room, and I have a rough time sleeping through that.
See you all as soon as I can.
I have a new girlfriend. I've been seeing her, when I can, for a few months now, she's an old friend, and we've just recently really decided we want to be together. She's...
Quite honestly, she's just about the only thing that makes my life worth living, who makes me feel like I'm worth being alive. Yep, declared love, and it's awesome.
But like I said, she's the only good thing in my life. Last weekend, I got out of town for a few days into Casper for a VD test (if one's gonna start dating again, one should be responsible) and Misty, the now-ex-gf, found herself a few boyfriend. Which, on one hand, is a good thing, because it means she's not pathetically begging me for sex anymore, but on the other hand, means that she's having him over to the house to fuck every chance she gets, which she claims is a lot, and she likes to give me numbers ("I wore him out last night"), my house, and I'm having a little trouble dealing with it.
What? I was with the girl for six years, so yeah, I'm gonna have a little trouble. I mean, it's not too bad, I'm only lost my job and puked twice...
Yeah, that sounds as bad as it is. It's been very, very hard.
But since she's been bringing him over and, I'm pretty sure based on the lack of evidence in the trash, fucking this white supremesist biker boy bareback, and yeah, that bothers me, she's given me her permission to bring my girlfriend, the girl I've fallen in love with over, and so I have three times this week.
Sadly for me, between Sunday and last night, I wasn't... able to cum. I fucked okay, but lost it before my ending. Happens when all's not right in my head.
And last night, oh last night, I very carefully and closely made love to her, not fucking, making love, gorgeous love, and finally, finally, was able to allow myself a release. It was so intense I started crying there on her shoulder as I did it. A bunch of the feelings that I've been needing to release coming out, not all of them, and I stifled some of the crying later because hey, crying's not sexy, but I've really been having a hard time with no way to express it, and her letting me be with her, that helps immesurably.
I am so fucking in love with her. I'm not gonna say if she's the One right now, because I don't know, but as far as her helping me split up with Misty, and now dealing with the aftermath... She one of the best friends I've ever had, and the only friend who just wants to listen and not say I Told You So about her, and really help me work through it and get the hell over all this. Because it is so very hard for me. Really, I'm a fucking wreck. No offense to any other friends trying to help me, she's just doing a better job. And probably, for the most part, you're just too far away.
She doesn't make it all go away, but she does make it tolerable when she's with me. She's patient enough to be okay with it not all going away, and to wait it out with me. She makes me feel so much better, and I really don't know what I'd do without her right now.
And I wanted to tell you all that I love her, that I'm in love with a wonderful girl, and that I'm in so much pain right now that I don't know what to do, except let her be with me, every chance I get. I so love her, so very much.
Okay, sappy over, gonna try to add an hour or two to my three hour's sleep tonight. Because they were back there fucking in the room I set up for them, for her, since I decided to stop letting her have my room, and I have a rough time sleeping through that.
See you all as soon as I can.