i need to vent.
im a loser, i feel right now like the world would be better with out me in it. crying is an option, but it wont help, so much to think about, i wish things could be different, my mind heart soul a blur. i hate that i lie to myself, that i cant remember things like im a stoner when its the farthest thing from my actual mind set, i hate that im smart, but do and say stupid things, that i feel like a burden to my friends and family at times, that i have thought about women as objects of desire and not people, that i feel like im going to end up a bum, with no one and nothing to look forward to everyday other than crying myself to sleep, i hate that when i pray for things to get better they get worse, i hate that i have lied to people about what i actually think, just because my friends might have thought different, i hate that i dislike people sometimes for no real reason, i hate stereo types but i use them frequently, i hate that i am supposed to be an adult, or more of one, but i seem to act more immature as i gain years of life, i hate worrying about my mom and dad not having enough money to get themselves thru life while helping me pay for college, i hate that i gossip about people, i hate that i am a snob to people before i even know them, i just hate me right now, im sorry if anything i said has up set you, im sorry if i up set you, im just so sorry.