For your entertainment I bring you..
Jokes111!
//first
So a panda walks into a bar and sits down at the nearest availble table. A waitress walks up to him and asks him what he would like, and he orders a sandwich. After the panda finishes the sandwich, the waitress returns to deliver the bill. The panda then pulls out a gun, and shoots the waitress dead. He then proceeds to walk out the door, when the bartender yells, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?! You didn't pay for your meal AND you shot my damn waitress! What do you have to say for yourself?"
The panda turns around and replies curtly, "Hey buddy ... I'm a PANDA, look it up in a dictionary." He then strolls out the bar, leaving the bartender puzzling on his parting words. So, the bartender goes into the back room, grabs a dictionary and looks up the definition of a panda. It says, "Panda - a large mammal indigenous to high-altitude and alpine regions of China. Eats shoots and leaves."
//next
Two strings walk into a bar. The first tries to order something. "I don't serve strings in this bar," the bartender says roughly and throws him out.
The second ruffs himself up, ties his ends together, walks in, and orders. "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" the bartender says.
"Yeah," the string says.
"Aren't you a string?" the bartender says.
"I'm a frayed knot," the string replies.
//lawl another
A termite walks into a bar and asks "Where is the bar tender?"
//last
Q: What do you call an American lady with one leg?
A: Eileen.
Q: What do you call a Japanese lady with one leg?
A: Irene.
Q: Where do both of these women work?
A: IHOP.
I lawled all over the place at work reading these. Lame jokes are the funniest things ever.
//first
So a panda walks into a bar and sits down at the nearest availble table. A waitress walks up to him and asks him what he would like, and he orders a sandwich. After the panda finishes the sandwich, the waitress returns to deliver the bill. The panda then pulls out a gun, and shoots the waitress dead. He then proceeds to walk out the door, when the bartender yells, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?! You didn't pay for your meal AND you shot my damn waitress! What do you have to say for yourself?"
The panda turns around and replies curtly, "Hey buddy ... I'm a PANDA, look it up in a dictionary." He then strolls out the bar, leaving the bartender puzzling on his parting words. So, the bartender goes into the back room, grabs a dictionary and looks up the definition of a panda. It says, "Panda - a large mammal indigenous to high-altitude and alpine regions of China. Eats shoots and leaves."
//next
Two strings walk into a bar. The first tries to order something. "I don't serve strings in this bar," the bartender says roughly and throws him out.
The second ruffs himself up, ties his ends together, walks in, and orders. "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" the bartender says.
"Yeah," the string says.
"Aren't you a string?" the bartender says.
"I'm a frayed knot," the string replies.
//lawl another
A termite walks into a bar and asks "Where is the bar tender?"
//last
Q: What do you call an American lady with one leg?
A: Eileen.
Q: What do you call a Japanese lady with one leg?
A: Irene.
Q: Where do both of these women work?
A: IHOP.
I lawled all over the place at work reading these. Lame jokes are the funniest things ever.