(no subject)
i like having an el jay. i guess right now i feel a lot better. at the beginning of the day and last night i was feeling really really really really bad but i think as the sun got brighter and school got shorter i was starting to feel a lot better. i really can't ever keep to my words. i try so bad to forget bad feelings by disappearing and avoiding but honestly i can't. i already want to get back to feeling good and not caring. i just want to take chances and not worry about the consequences. i want to do what i want without any worries. i hate how things are sometimes. i feel like im so independent and sometimes i feel so held back by things.
i don't want to anymore.
i am trying to ween myself from johnny lol so when he does leave its not so sudden. i told him this and what i love about him is he is acceptable of it..he understands :)
i think i am such a pisces because one part of me doesn't care at all and then there is a rational liz that really does care and then worries about the outcome. i guess i shouldn't go overboard. i need to keep a foot planted in reality so my head doesn't drift into the clouds.
i want to grow up so fast and be on my own making my own decisions.
oh yeah forgot to tell you. i don't have a best friend anymore...hes a little too preoccupied with "better" things. like a girl. i guess it really doesn't matter in the end how long you've known him or how long you have cared about him. it all goes back to how much a$$ he can get. which is pretty sad :-\ but i have learned to not worry about it or i guess try :)
as of right now i think i feel pretty okay.
i don't want to anymore.
i am trying to ween myself from johnny lol so when he does leave its not so sudden. i told him this and what i love about him is he is acceptable of it..he understands :)
i think i am such a pisces because one part of me doesn't care at all and then there is a rational liz that really does care and then worries about the outcome. i guess i shouldn't go overboard. i need to keep a foot planted in reality so my head doesn't drift into the clouds.
i want to grow up so fast and be on my own making my own decisions.
oh yeah forgot to tell you. i don't have a best friend anymore...hes a little too preoccupied with "better" things. like a girl. i guess it really doesn't matter in the end how long you've known him or how long you have cared about him. it all goes back to how much a$$ he can get. which is pretty sad :-\ but i have learned to not worry about it or i guess try :)
as of right now i think i feel pretty okay.