it's been since july
It's been since july now, and im still depressed...sure there were times when i haven't been, but over all, it hasn't been anything special. Im just so sick of everythign right now. $5,000+ in debt, and shit keeps going wrong on my car; i quit my job because i hated it, i have no source of income.
Sure eventually things are supposed to look up, but i don't see that happening anytime soon. I wish that I could just be happy for a change. Drinking my sorrows away works most of the time, but then you sober back up to reality and it's all still there. Alcoholism isn't the way to respond to this, but the way things have been going, there is nothing there for me anymore....maybe its just that time where i let go of reality and just slip into a downward spiral into the social outkasts in society. Sure that would require dropping out of college and all, but right now, that is a serious thought going through my head. Yeah sure i have 35 credits left to graduate including this semester, but i don't care. I can't handle this any more.
The feeling of being wanted by people is something that has been lacking in my life for some time. Sure i've also given up on trying to have people accept me into their lives or anything of that sort. I've been prefering to just sit back and let life pass me by most of the time. I regret it everyday, but it's so much easier and there is no risk in failing.
Life is supposed to be what you make of it. And since high school, i haven't been making much of my life. I tell myself to change, but i lack any motivation to do so. I see nothing worth while that is attainable for me to do this.
9:20 in the morning, and im craving a drink.....not good....im out
Sure eventually things are supposed to look up, but i don't see that happening anytime soon. I wish that I could just be happy for a change. Drinking my sorrows away works most of the time, but then you sober back up to reality and it's all still there. Alcoholism isn't the way to respond to this, but the way things have been going, there is nothing there for me anymore....maybe its just that time where i let go of reality and just slip into a downward spiral into the social outkasts in society. Sure that would require dropping out of college and all, but right now, that is a serious thought going through my head. Yeah sure i have 35 credits left to graduate including this semester, but i don't care. I can't handle this any more.
The feeling of being wanted by people is something that has been lacking in my life for some time. Sure i've also given up on trying to have people accept me into their lives or anything of that sort. I've been prefering to just sit back and let life pass me by most of the time. I regret it everyday, but it's so much easier and there is no risk in failing.
Life is supposed to be what you make of it. And since high school, i haven't been making much of my life. I tell myself to change, but i lack any motivation to do so. I see nothing worth while that is attainable for me to do this.
9:20 in the morning, and im craving a drink.....not good....im out