depression
Everybody gets depressed sometime in their life; but it isn't a normality to be depressed for months at a time. Sure i seem like im happy most of the time, but inside, i lack what i really want; the need to feel wanted. I know a lot of you will say that you're wanted by me and what not, and sure you may feel that way, but honestly, how many of you that are reading this can actually make me feel that way? not many of you.
So many things in the past few months have brought me to this state. My excissive drinking is my way of coping with it; yes i know it's a bad way to. But i think i'd rather drink and have the money on me than rack up my credit card bill like i have. I like to buy things when i get depressed, so instead of waiting till i had the money to buy my stereo equipment, i just bought it all at once. Now im $2000 in debt, and i have about anohter $1000 that i'll be putting on it again in the next two days.
So im sure by now, if you cared, you're still reading so maybe i can tell you a few reasons im depressed. Every day i have to wake up to drag my ass to a job that i hate. I love the job itself, i just hate the fucking owner who thinks we're trash and he's so greedy that he tells us we're behind when marc and myself realized that we're going to have a week of nothing to do at work. Second of all, out of all my friends, i feel that only a few of them are true to me. My third reason is that i feel like a pud, but i can't bring myself to get my ass to the weight room. Fourth of all, is a reason that everybody will get depressed over sometime in their life. When you want somebody, but you can't seem to get them.....there is more to that, but i won't say...i just miss feeling loved by a girlfriend
Overall, it's time for a change; I need to start to appreciate what i have now, because i'll never know when it, they, or i won't be here to enjoy them. So i want to try and enjoy the rest of my time here, and eventually things will turn out ok.
that's all for now
So many things in the past few months have brought me to this state. My excissive drinking is my way of coping with it; yes i know it's a bad way to. But i think i'd rather drink and have the money on me than rack up my credit card bill like i have. I like to buy things when i get depressed, so instead of waiting till i had the money to buy my stereo equipment, i just bought it all at once. Now im $2000 in debt, and i have about anohter $1000 that i'll be putting on it again in the next two days.
So im sure by now, if you cared, you're still reading so maybe i can tell you a few reasons im depressed. Every day i have to wake up to drag my ass to a job that i hate. I love the job itself, i just hate the fucking owner who thinks we're trash and he's so greedy that he tells us we're behind when marc and myself realized that we're going to have a week of nothing to do at work. Second of all, out of all my friends, i feel that only a few of them are true to me. My third reason is that i feel like a pud, but i can't bring myself to get my ass to the weight room. Fourth of all, is a reason that everybody will get depressed over sometime in their life. When you want somebody, but you can't seem to get them.....there is more to that, but i won't say...i just miss feeling loved by a girlfriend
Overall, it's time for a change; I need to start to appreciate what i have now, because i'll never know when it, they, or i won't be here to enjoy them. So i want to try and enjoy the rest of my time here, and eventually things will turn out ok.
that's all for now