Friends Til the End (of the World)
The above photo of Coquette de Jour and Dee Flowered was taken Sunday, July 19th, 2020 outside the Athens Clarke County Library. Had you shown me this last July, I wouldn't have thought anything but "they look so rad, and I can't wait to see the movie." And though I do think that when I see this now, the story behind it isn't one of Gonzoriffic just being its usual creative self.
I don't mind telling you I had a breakdown of sorts last fall. It was inevitable, and I'm entirely to blame for neglecting my mental health and sleep cycle for so many years. I finally had to get serious about getting well and being myself again. "Bad Girl Dracula" was completed, a physical release happened in time with the premiere screening, and the streaming release followed just after the new year. And what a year it turned out to be.
For the first few months of the COVID-19 pandemic, it was all I could do each day to stave off the feelings of utter terror and persistent worry. By the time night fell, I gathered myself enough to go to sleep, trying not to think about the reality we were all waking up to. I missed me, I missed my friends, and I just wanted it to all be a bad dream. In time, routines became bearable, and surviving was plenty, but creatively I was in distress. And that is a mental health crisis.
We released PANICAKE to Youtube on April 17th, after one full month of not seeing one another. Coquette, Jennie, Xtina and I worked seperately together on it, and breathed a momentary sigh of relief. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAboKnAFwVs
After that, it wasn't a question of what next. I'd shot several projects earlier in the year, I had all the materials to release a second volume of MONDO GONZO, but I was stuck on how I was going to finish our new compilation. We've got so much great stuff we've been holding onto, but I was missing the connective tissue. The photo you see above is part of my solution.
We all filmed with masks on, we never got close to one another, and I even shot some parts remotely. It was a relief, it was sorely needed, but in my darker moments I wonder if this will be the last release of its kind. I always wonder that every time, but now I've got good reason. I don't plan to spend 2020-2021 in a similar place to where I was in 2010-2011, but all this shit is going to be the test of our lifetime. You just can't know.
What I do know is none of that has happened yet, so worrying is a waste of my energy. I'll make movies instead, thank you.