"If love is a labor, I'll slave till the end"
So I started this last night and it got erased and oh well.
So I've been thinking a lot lately about justice, and why I am such a vengeful/spiteful person. I've been a lot better about it lately, but oddly enough, it doesn't make me feel any better. In the end, I just sit by and watch these people around me to do things to me or my friends, and they just get away with it. And everyone tells me thinsg like "karma blah blah blah" and "you reap what you sow". I don't believe that. I don't believe there is some cosmic police force out there dealing out justice and ensuring that everyone "gets what they deserve". I think people just believe in karma and Hell because it's hard to accept that there are bad people out there who get away with the things they've done. Life isn't fair, and there are people out there who don't get what they deserve. Justice is blind.
I think I'm going to give someone a call today. I always think it's a waste of time to try and approach someone with the intent of getting to know them. It's like there's so many obstacles in the way preventing that from happening. My thoughts and feelings are often so contradictiory. I don't want to try and talk to someone and have it end up failing, like it has in the past, but at the same time, I don't want to be alone forever and the only way of not being alone is to take the initiative and try to meet people and risk getting close.
Robert came to visit me yesterday. It made me happy. I could fel myself getting sad, and I know that when I'm around him being sad is basically impossible. It's scary to admit that I really need someone in my life, but I need him. I once heard someone say "People that need people are the luckiest people of all". He was right.