Mar 09, 2010 12:53
I think about you at night; I think about you during the day; I keep your name on the edges of my lips, quirked at an unnatural angle to keep it from escaping. I lock you out of my dreams, I substitute others instead, I deny your existence again and again.
I think about you in every spare moment; I think about you even in the busy ones; I treat you like a drug, casting daily allotments as if you were some precious resource. I drift back and forth, buoyed only by faint memories and distant lies.
I think about you in order to forget you, I think about you to preserve you; I hope and hope and hope, wildly, desperately, repeatedly, I hope without reason and without thought. I don't even know what I hope for, and yet I still hope.
I think about you out of habit; I think about you to bore myself, I tire of the subject of you; I tire of the same threadbare scenarios, I tire of everything about you.
I think about you; I think about you; I think about you. No matter what, I think about you.
wtf self,
i am too lazy to properly tag this,
write