(no subject)
Dear poor neglected lj that i don't really use anymore because you're tainted by old messages from Gerald and it's icky to have to look at those and remember that once upon a time I actually had genuine feelings for that guy who is now kinda sorta a friend only not cause we both are like, no. Never again.
Which is the song that I totally love but am slowly getting sick of which leads me to HIM who I am not slowly nor quickly getting sick of which is really kind of horrific for my mental health and sanity and all that good stuff. And actually it's just the opposite and it's steadily getting worse and leading towards bad!stalkerish Michelle who slightly creeps me out or would if I didn't want to know more about him so damn much that it's getting on my own nerves let alone Sarah's.
[Who is really surprisingly a big kniting dork which is kinda sorta totally awesome. ]
And gonowherefast is slowly but surely getting polluted with him him him him him him dammit and now I'll have to think of another clever lj name for when I finally finally get over him and want to forget all about my stupidity and all that bad stuff. And seriously? I'm sick of the whole feelings thing already. When the human ---> robot transformation is finished and w/o kinks, I'm totally first in line to rip my heart out and never look at it again because feelings are very, very bad and not productive or conductive towards mental health which I care about much much more about than feelings right now, esp. MY feelings because I have horrifically dumb, record-breaking-levels-of-sheer-idiocy kind of feelings.
And they lead down very bad, very embarrassing, and very familiar roads.
And if you really want the truth, because I might or might not owe it to you: I have ceased to care about love.
So hello, love?
This is my official resignation.
Bye now. I won't see you later. Don't try calling.
And now cue the fade to black because I'm planning to be gone forever.
And I'm tired so tired and stupid and tired and awakealert but asleepsosleepy and where's Snow White and her apple because I'm craving some poison.
Which is the song that I totally love but am slowly getting sick of which leads me to HIM who I am not slowly nor quickly getting sick of which is really kind of horrific for my mental health and sanity and all that good stuff. And actually it's just the opposite and it's steadily getting worse and leading towards bad!stalkerish Michelle who slightly creeps me out or would if I didn't want to know more about him so damn much that it's getting on my own nerves let alone Sarah's.
[Who is really surprisingly a big kniting dork which is kinda sorta totally awesome. ]
And gonowherefast is slowly but surely getting polluted with him him him him him him dammit and now I'll have to think of another clever lj name for when I finally finally get over him and want to forget all about my stupidity and all that bad stuff. And seriously? I'm sick of the whole feelings thing already. When the human ---> robot transformation is finished and w/o kinks, I'm totally first in line to rip my heart out and never look at it again because feelings are very, very bad and not productive or conductive towards mental health which I care about much much more about than feelings right now, esp. MY feelings because I have horrifically dumb, record-breaking-levels-of-sheer-idiocy kind of feelings.
And they lead down very bad, very embarrassing, and very familiar roads.
And if you really want the truth, because I might or might not owe it to you: I have ceased to care about love.
So hello, love?
This is my official resignation.
Bye now. I won't see you later. Don't try calling.
And now cue the fade to black because I'm planning to be gone forever.
And I'm tired so tired and stupid and tired and awakealert but asleepsosleepy and where's Snow White and her apple because I'm craving some poison.