Comments | gonnafeelgood: [fic] a lifetime of firsts

gonnafeelgood

[fic] a lifetime of firsts

Aug 16, 2009 01:34

A Lifetime of Firsts
bandslash, Bert McCracken (includes Bert/OMC, Bert/Quinn, Bert/Katie, etc etc)
R, ~7,000 words, thanks to octette for the beta and secrethappiness for the quick read-through
For sinsense in the usedfic challenge. Ended up working with Bert/Quinn and “stories from the road.” Um. There are SOME road stories in here? It’s basically a big Bertfest.

( Bert can remember most of the important firsts, at least as far as what other people think matter. )

Comments 14

trashlife_x August 16 2009, 13:40:50 UTC

i love it.
*mems*

belladonnalin August 20 2009, 04:47:37 UTC

Thank you so much!

valerie_z August 16 2009, 17:24:33 UTC

Oh my god that was beautiful. Thank you.

belladonnalin August 20 2009, 04:47:53 UTC

Thank you! I meant to write a sweet, funny story. It didn't get very funny.

phelixstar August 17 2009, 00:19:27 UTC

Omg. I love this. Why can't I come with good ideas like this? Brilliant.

The last little section there broke me and made me clutch my heart. Boys. <3<3<3<3

belladonnalin August 20 2009, 04:48:23 UTC

I have no idea why I write them so heartbreaking except that I think that Bert is fucking 1) awesome; 2) heartbreaking.

Thank you for reading and commenting!

sinsense August 17 2009, 08:29:57 UTC

and Bert spends more time thinking “What?” than he does realizing what’s happening.
At this point in the story I sat there and went "oh god this is going to kick me right in the heart, isn't it? It is, I just know it." Robert! ROBERT. Oh god.

I love how the story follows very neatly from that comment about his first crush, the way that it's not a perfect narrative (the way the story should go), but instead it's true. Love that.

I love the Refused namedrop. LOVE IT. And his MOM, oh my god, fucking Christ. I love that there's this sort of sloppy slide to the way his life goes, not something you can blame on any one thing.

“You remind me of someone,” the dude says, finally, his voice kind of unsure.

Oh, awesome. Bert hopes like fuck he’s not some old hookup or trick or some damn thing. “Sure. Great. Good times. Go the fuck away.”Holy crap, is this ever the most perfect series of lines in the history of Usedfic ever. Thank you and good day. I am done here. I love you ( ... )

belladonnalin August 20 2009, 04:53:27 UTC

BRB, DOING VICTORY LAPS IN MY HEAD.

I love that there's this sort of sloppy slide to the way his life goes, not something you can blame on any one thing.

Because: YES. Yes! It's not about his parents being horrible people or Bert being a fuckup, it's just that sometimes you find a place to fit in and you love it and then you find another and then you look around and realize; oh god, wait. What?

I'm glad that the Robert/Bert thing worked - I've wondered a LOT why his parents still call him Robert and thought that might be a kind of neat before/after affect.

I'm SO glad you liked it. I won't lie, this fic and I fought some rounds and there are things I wish I had polished better, shit that should have gone in, but I'm glad that it did something for you.

Happy fic exchange!

swear_jar August 17 2009, 11:01:52 UTC

Ohhhhh, this was really good. The structure took me a while to get used to but I couldn't actually tear my eyes away. I feel a bit heartclutch-y now.

Weirdly, the little bits with Jepha really stood out to me. I think you got him perfectly.

Also, Bert and Quiiiiiiiiinn oh god mah heart.

belladonnalin August 20 2009, 04:51:16 UTC

Oh man, the structure on this was a FUCKER to finally get nailed down. I think that these sections have been shuffled around in a LOT of different narrative ways before finally settling on this.

I'm glad that it worked, with the disjointedness.

<3<3<3 Thanks, darlin'. This is one of the harder fics I've ever written (because it's dealing with shit that I think are often done badly) and it's nice to hear that it works, even a little bit.

And why did I write in so little Jepha? HE'S MY FAVORITE!