(no subject)
I haven't done this in months because I got sick of people telling me what to do for my wedding, and at the time, the biggest thing on my mind was wedding plans/thoughts/worries, etc.
Well, wedding stress (including having a tantrum at Christmas dinner about it) seems preferable to all the crap in my head right now.
My grandfather is sick. He might die. Everyone else seems to think that he's going to die soon, except me. Or maybe I just hope that he won't, partly so that I won't have to envision my wedding without him, and partly so that it does not feel like I am going to the hospital after work every day just to wait for him to die.
What am I doing? I should be there now, but I can't bring myself to do it yet, because it never ends. There is no clear event that will confirm when he can come home - all we know is that he is too weak to do anything on his own. It's been 33 days.
I've helped him with his diaper. Fuck. I just can't.
Well, wedding stress (including having a tantrum at Christmas dinner about it) seems preferable to all the crap in my head right now.
My grandfather is sick. He might die. Everyone else seems to think that he's going to die soon, except me. Or maybe I just hope that he won't, partly so that I won't have to envision my wedding without him, and partly so that it does not feel like I am going to the hospital after work every day just to wait for him to die.
What am I doing? I should be there now, but I can't bring myself to do it yet, because it never ends. There is no clear event that will confirm when he can come home - all we know is that he is too weak to do anything on his own. It's been 33 days.
I've helped him with his diaper. Fuck. I just can't.