(no subject)
ok so my whole "i'm not going to let this valentine's day stuff bring me down" just did a 180. it's not really about being with friends and family. it's about love. i wish i could have just been like surprise phone call "i was thinking about you today" and then it would have been ok.
what happened to those days when everyone decorated a shoe box with a slit on the top and you went out and bought valentine's day cards with characters and cartoons on them with fun little sayings and you filled one out for everyone in the class, even the kids you didnt like, and dropped them off in the boxes and everyone got candy and chocolate and felt happy.
now everyone gets sad because they don't have anyone. or they do have someone but they can't go out for a special valentine's day dinner because they have a Brand essay that was just assigned today and due on Thursday.
and then you think about the ex's. and how you didnt love some and you loved others and some loved you and some didnt love you and what is love anyway?
and you are happy for the people who keep it together and frustrated because you couldnt. or maybe you just couldn't give them what they needed?
or maybe it's just for the best because you are leaving soon and will find so many new people to immerse yourself with. or maybe he was the best?
and that is why you made this deal with yourself that the next guy you are with has to have:
1) and accent
2) a facial piercing - lip or eyebrow will suffice
to be difficult. because you know that only exists in guys like Raff (short for Raphael) who is a womanizer. and even your own sister makes you horribly jealous like always when she never means to or tries to but you cant help but envy her and everything about her and love her still but want to be her because she is just so much better then you and has so much more going for her.
and then you bitch and moan in a livejournal entry and don't open it to comments because you are too scared to not have anyone comment because if you don't get comments you feel like a failure.
what happened to those days when everyone decorated a shoe box with a slit on the top and you went out and bought valentine's day cards with characters and cartoons on them with fun little sayings and you filled one out for everyone in the class, even the kids you didnt like, and dropped them off in the boxes and everyone got candy and chocolate and felt happy.
now everyone gets sad because they don't have anyone. or they do have someone but they can't go out for a special valentine's day dinner because they have a Brand essay that was just assigned today and due on Thursday.
and then you think about the ex's. and how you didnt love some and you loved others and some loved you and some didnt love you and what is love anyway?
and you are happy for the people who keep it together and frustrated because you couldnt. or maybe you just couldn't give them what they needed?
or maybe it's just for the best because you are leaving soon and will find so many new people to immerse yourself with. or maybe he was the best?
and that is why you made this deal with yourself that the next guy you are with has to have:
1) and accent
2) a facial piercing - lip or eyebrow will suffice
to be difficult. because you know that only exists in guys like Raff (short for Raphael) who is a womanizer. and even your own sister makes you horribly jealous like always when she never means to or tries to but you cant help but envy her and everything about her and love her still but want to be her because she is just so much better then you and has so much more going for her.
and then you bitch and moan in a livejournal entry and don't open it to comments because you are too scared to not have anyone comment because if you don't get comments you feel like a failure.