just thinking out loud...
Im trying to decide whether, or whether not to actually go ahead with saturday night. part of me feels it is going to be a massive waste of time because my birthday is always one HUGE disaster anyway. I don't know how everyone else feels but I know at least one person is just intending coming as a stop over to get drunk and move on to rock city. Which people can feel free to do, but I'm not going (not to be a party pooper, but I have no money, which wa the whole point in inviting people around in the first place.)
I don't know if it's just because it's my birthday, or if the timing is just inconvenient.
part of this is probabaly just me feeling sorry for myself cos I have a horrible cold and really nasty headaches today, adn the idea of a 'party' is just pissing me off at the moment. But the other part is a huge feeling of what is the point? Im not really keen on the idea of celebrating the anual joke that is my birthday. I'd probably be better off if I just sat in my bedroom on my own, that way nothing much can go wrong.
I realise that is incredibly stupid and selfish.
This is no intended to piss anyone off, I just personally know that I will do something on the day that will ruin it (like geting far far too drunk and crying everywhere) because that seems to be the thing that I do around this time of the year, on the other hand, that is something that I havent done in a while, cos I am generally quite happy at the moment. So I could just treat it as an average party for no special occasion and then hopefully nothing should go wrong.
I just get a bit paranoid about everyone having a good time, and lose all sight of how fun it actually is. And I know that pisses people off.
Oh goodness, I sound a bit 'emo'lol!
Sorry to update to just moan, it's just a random blabble of thinkingness really. Feel free to ignore.
Im sure it will all be fine.. and try and not get too drunk and cry hehe. but I will get quite drunk. because its my birthday. So I should just enjoy it. and stop caring. lol. Now Im really just blabbling. Its because Im bored, cos Hayleys not here. Hello Hayley. and lorah and Jo (cos ur the only ones who read this, to the best of my knowledge lol (sorry to anyone else reading it.)
again, sorry for the moan.
I don't know if it's just because it's my birthday, or if the timing is just inconvenient.
part of this is probabaly just me feeling sorry for myself cos I have a horrible cold and really nasty headaches today, adn the idea of a 'party' is just pissing me off at the moment. But the other part is a huge feeling of what is the point? Im not really keen on the idea of celebrating the anual joke that is my birthday. I'd probably be better off if I just sat in my bedroom on my own, that way nothing much can go wrong.
I realise that is incredibly stupid and selfish.
This is no intended to piss anyone off, I just personally know that I will do something on the day that will ruin it (like geting far far too drunk and crying everywhere) because that seems to be the thing that I do around this time of the year, on the other hand, that is something that I havent done in a while, cos I am generally quite happy at the moment. So I could just treat it as an average party for no special occasion and then hopefully nothing should go wrong.
I just get a bit paranoid about everyone having a good time, and lose all sight of how fun it actually is. And I know that pisses people off.
Oh goodness, I sound a bit 'emo'lol!
Sorry to update to just moan, it's just a random blabble of thinkingness really. Feel free to ignore.
Im sure it will all be fine.. and try and not get too drunk and cry hehe. but I will get quite drunk. because its my birthday. So I should just enjoy it. and stop caring. lol. Now Im really just blabbling. Its because Im bored, cos Hayleys not here. Hello Hayley. and lorah and Jo (cos ur the only ones who read this, to the best of my knowledge lol (sorry to anyone else reading it.)
again, sorry for the moan.