"I just want to be with my own kind" - Carla
Carla (I guess you could call her my boss) and I were talking yesterday about med school and I asked her where she wanted to go and she said "I just want to be with my own kind". I asked her what she meant and she replied "just normal upstate people, not rich stuck-up cornellians". I laughed and told her I knew how she felt. Then I of course get from someone, "wait..aren't you from Long Island?". This Long Island stereotype bothers me to no end. I did not even know about the rich "jappy" girl from Long Island sterotype until I got to Cornell. It's nothing like that at all in Riverhead. People are always like "well, you're different. You don't seem like you're from Long Island".
I don't really know why I started with that (Sorry C, my LJ is more stream-of-consciousness than anything else), but something else is also bothering me. I feel like this makes me a bad person, but I'm going to say it anyway. Is it wrong that I am jealous of, and to a small extent resent, a lot of my friends here? It's nothing they personally do. I mean they're all great people and I love them, but, ok, like EH for example. She takes like 14 credits a semester, works one night a week (not because she has to, but just because it's a "good experience" for her job). So she manages to get everything done like two weeks in advance, study throughout the semester, and still get in bed at like 9. The other morning she was like "why aren't you studying for nutrition??" kind of joking around I guess, but I was like "umm....because I have to leave for work in 10 mins". I felt bad because I kind of gave her an attitude. And then there's Liz. She can afford to like travel around the world, stay in the city for a weekend, drive her parent's car around up here. Also, this weekend, I went grocery shopping and got hockey tickets with some people up here. Both of course just went on their credit cards. I can't assume that their parents pay, but probably. I am not saying any of my friends here are lazy, and I know most of them worked this summer (unlike a large majority of Cornell's population), but there's something to be said for working while you're at school. I know this isn't there fault, and if their parents want to pay for everything and have the means to do it, then why not? But I don't know. It's just so strange to me, to come from a place where every single person I knew worked to someplace were virtually none of my friends have jobs. In high school, it was just assumed you worked. It's just weird that those of us who have to work are a minority here. If I didn't have to work and do tons of other stuff for tradition, I could probably do a lot of other things too. I feel like working makes a person more well-rounded and prepared for the "real world". You can argue that being involved in a lot of clubs and what-not does too, but I am not so sure. When we're adults, we're going to have to work for a living. I don't know, I just kind of think it's ridiculous that the majority of people that I know here are adults, living on their own, yet mom and dad still pay for every box of cereal, every tube of toothpaste, every dinner out.
I guess I just feel a little out of place here. I'm not trying to pretend that I come from the streets or anything, but still a different world than most people here know. I never had a lot of money growing up. My dad was a carpenter for the whole time he lived with us. They had a horrible marriage. I mean most of my friends, ok pretty much all except Cass, don't know the half of what went on when I was little. When Gike told his girlfriend everything, she started to cry. I guess I just kind of became jaded really early. I grew up so fast. I feel like I was so aware of everything by the time I was around 10 years old. It's just weird here to me that no one's parents are even divorced. Once again, in Riverhead, I knew so many people who came from "broken homes".
I'm not saying I wish I had grown up differently. It definitely shaped who I am. I feel like if I came from a more "normal" household, I just would be a lot different. Some things might have been positive: I probably would be more open, more trusting of people. But I would also be more naive, less mature. So I guess it's a trade-off. Maybe I shouldn't be jealous of other people.
Yeah, once again. Not sure where I'm going with this. I'm not very articulate these days. I have to go to work now :)
I can't wait to go back to my broken, non-jappy home in 2 DAYS!!!
I don't really know why I started with that (Sorry C, my LJ is more stream-of-consciousness than anything else), but something else is also bothering me. I feel like this makes me a bad person, but I'm going to say it anyway. Is it wrong that I am jealous of, and to a small extent resent, a lot of my friends here? It's nothing they personally do. I mean they're all great people and I love them, but, ok, like EH for example. She takes like 14 credits a semester, works one night a week (not because she has to, but just because it's a "good experience" for her job). So she manages to get everything done like two weeks in advance, study throughout the semester, and still get in bed at like 9. The other morning she was like "why aren't you studying for nutrition??" kind of joking around I guess, but I was like "umm....because I have to leave for work in 10 mins". I felt bad because I kind of gave her an attitude. And then there's Liz. She can afford to like travel around the world, stay in the city for a weekend, drive her parent's car around up here. Also, this weekend, I went grocery shopping and got hockey tickets with some people up here. Both of course just went on their credit cards. I can't assume that their parents pay, but probably. I am not saying any of my friends here are lazy, and I know most of them worked this summer (unlike a large majority of Cornell's population), but there's something to be said for working while you're at school. I know this isn't there fault, and if their parents want to pay for everything and have the means to do it, then why not? But I don't know. It's just so strange to me, to come from a place where every single person I knew worked to someplace were virtually none of my friends have jobs. In high school, it was just assumed you worked. It's just weird that those of us who have to work are a minority here. If I didn't have to work and do tons of other stuff for tradition, I could probably do a lot of other things too. I feel like working makes a person more well-rounded and prepared for the "real world". You can argue that being involved in a lot of clubs and what-not does too, but I am not so sure. When we're adults, we're going to have to work for a living. I don't know, I just kind of think it's ridiculous that the majority of people that I know here are adults, living on their own, yet mom and dad still pay for every box of cereal, every tube of toothpaste, every dinner out.
I guess I just feel a little out of place here. I'm not trying to pretend that I come from the streets or anything, but still a different world than most people here know. I never had a lot of money growing up. My dad was a carpenter for the whole time he lived with us. They had a horrible marriage. I mean most of my friends, ok pretty much all except Cass, don't know the half of what went on when I was little. When Gike told his girlfriend everything, she started to cry. I guess I just kind of became jaded really early. I grew up so fast. I feel like I was so aware of everything by the time I was around 10 years old. It's just weird here to me that no one's parents are even divorced. Once again, in Riverhead, I knew so many people who came from "broken homes".
I'm not saying I wish I had grown up differently. It definitely shaped who I am. I feel like if I came from a more "normal" household, I just would be a lot different. Some things might have been positive: I probably would be more open, more trusting of people. But I would also be more naive, less mature. So I guess it's a trade-off. Maybe I shouldn't be jealous of other people.
Yeah, once again. Not sure where I'm going with this. I'm not very articulate these days. I have to go to work now :)
I can't wait to go back to my broken, non-jappy home in 2 DAYS!!!