words cannot explain.

[gone742]

how is it that even the best ppl can have so many faults. i mean i like to think of my self as a decent human being but i dont understand why so many thing get to me and make me angry.. like exteremly rude ppl or just rude ppl for that matter. or parents. they have never bothered me untill now. but all of a sudden im going to change. i hate it. and its not even my dad. its my mom. and she seems to just try to get on my bad side lately. if it isnt telling me to do something and then yelling at me for it. its something else. and the whole everthing is my fault it is. i cant stand it. so i have anger issues. i understand that. so my mom yells at me. im trying to control my self then i mention i dont do well with being accused of something i have.had no control over .. she said tough im going to hear it ne way . that its my problem and to deal with it. so desprately a surge of anger hate rushed over me. and its a scary feeling cause i dont even like that side of me. but for once even as she continually nagged and nagged on the subject. i stayed calm. first time in a long long time i didnt swear. punch ne thing. just leave. or ne thing. i stood there. not even yelling... i was proud of my self. u have no idea.

today wasnt all that great but it was alot better than it could have been. thankyou for calming me down all day and for just being the most wonderful and amazing girlfriend any one could ask for. thank you for understaning me and knowing my birthday and the 2 out of 3 facts about me. u truely are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
i need sleep so im gonna go..

goodnight
justin