Suddenly it's July. Part 3
PART 2
During primary shooting days, Nino’s schedule doesn’t allow him to meet with Matsumoto. He works with Ohno-sensei and the crew, completing one scene after another, following the scheduling to the dot-except once or twice when they encounter minor technical details. He’s witnessed Ohno-sensei change the scene details six times before getting what he wanted; he’s giggled over Sho’s mini fit of rage when the catering delivery comes late one afternoon; he’s had to apply his own makeup to keep up with the scene when Yamada-chan was late one morning; and he’s finally kicked Aiba-chan hard in the shin for loudly squealing ‘Nino, your crush is here’ when Matsumoto visits his shoot.
“Ouch, that wasn’t nice of you,” Aiba pouts in pain, but his eyes are shining with glee.
“You weren’t nice first,” Nino replies, suddenly aware of everything; his concentration’s completely blown by the simple presence of the other man.
They are finally getting down to scene number 5; this time a shiny white piano is placed in the middle of the set-Nino doesn’t even want to know how Takeda-san managed to fit it into the basement. He’s already in the black suit; it fits perfectly now that Yamada-chan has done her complete magic-the corsage is light yellow now. All thoughts about Matsumoto on set, or that Sho’s forgotten about giving him a coffee refill again, or that Aiba is still wiggling his eyebrows, are set aside when Ohno-sensei calls for him to enter the set. The stool is the same, and the height is already perfect. He gives the keys a light brush of his fingers and takes his seat in the center of the spotlight, waiting for instructions.
“I need a change of battery,” Ohno instructs his assistant while walking toward Nino, waving the camera in his hand. “And give me the .72.” The assistant takes the camera and moves quickly to the monitor section.
“Nino, we did this before,” Ohno says, standing by the piano next to him, touching the keys lightly.
“Yes.”
“But you’re nervous now.”
Nino flushes. “Sensei, I’m fine. It’s not going to-“
Ohno smiles at him. “Which is good, I think, because I need you nervous during the first few bars. You can play smoother later. That’s better for the scene.”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so,” Ohno says, confirming before pointing out more directions. “The door is still over there. Slouch and eyes off the keys. Remember?”
“I do.”
“I'll ask for a few repetitions. Just keep playing. You don’t need to stop, just go back a bar or two, and give me the mood I want.”
“Okay.”
“Good.” Ohno then turns to get the scene going. “My camera, please! And Takeda-san? Two degrees down on the left filler, please.” Takeda-san complies without fuss and Ohno receives his camera again and gives his final instructions. “We’re starting. Call it!”
Two beats after the call is finished, Nino hits the first key.
His fingers dance as he delivers the exact melody that he played during the rehearsal. Ohno gets closer, setting the camera focus on his fingers, and Nino keeps on going. “Repeat!” He smoothly goes back to the refrain, just when Ohno was getting closer before, and reaches the same notes with the same precise hits. “Repeat!” Nino goes back again, in full control of the melody, playing the same bars. “Repeat.” And again. “Repeat.” And again, until he catches the sight of Ohno pulling back in the corner of his eyes, getting a larger frame of the scene. He sets his face straight and ready for the deep close ups.
Ohno’s instructions come in a distant low voice. “The door.” He looks over to the direction of the door and skips the refrain and goes on playing the bridge without altering his rhythm-it’s a much slower part of the song, much more sincere, much more depressed. He fixes his gaze at a point in the right direction and plays the next bar. “I’m not getting the seduction. Repeat.” He takes a deep breath and goes to the beginning of the bridge; this time he lets his eyelids drop slower, taking a more noticeable sigh each time. “That’s it. Keep it going. Repeat!” And he does the exact same action one more time.
Ohno doesn’t give any instructions when he finishes the bridge, so Nino segues to the next part of the song, the final part with the high notes. He hits the keys with more enthusiasm, going for closure at a fast pace. He is almost at the last bar when Ohno comes closer again. “Repeat.” Nino does as instructed, keeping his expression the same as before; he is almost at the last bar again when this time Ohno whispers his instructions. “Tears. I want to see tears.” And Nino can only take a deep breath, letting his emotions and the melody overwhelm him in sudden waves. Of a man he loves, of a man who leaves him, of a man who kicks him when he’s down, of a man who uses him for pleasure, of a man who practices on his heart.
“Repeat.”
Nino gasps and lets the melody takes him this time; there’s no boundaries, no end to the surge of feelings now enshrouding him, letting him hitting the high notes again and again, surrounding everything with sorrow and sadness and the man who never loves him. Tears run freely, as he keeps his blurry vision on the door, still waiting for the man who didn’t come back, who will never come back. “Back one bar. Wipe your tears. Gently.” He sighs this time; there’s no good in hoping for what you can’t get, there’s nothing good in this world, he cannot trust anyone and that’s fact. He uses a finger to wipe the tears from his right cheek, keeping the other hand playing the low tones.
He continues playing the last notes when Ohno doesn’t say repeat this time. The song is coming to an end, the seduction is long forgotten, the sorrow has taken over everything. “Finish it,” Ohno finally says, pulling back to a long shot distance and Nino complies. He turns his eyes away from the door and onto the keys, hits the last note and keeps his head down. He lets a long silence follows-Ohno doesn’t give any further instructions-and follows, until a precise moment, when it is utterly silent and he feels the pang of pain in his chest. His heart is devastatingly broken. He hits the last note again, keeping pressing until the last echo fades under the stage light, until his eyes are dry again, until the end.
“Cut. We’re done with this scene.”
Nino lets out a big sigh, and for a moment, silence still envelops the set before there’s round of applause. He can hear Aiba’s catcalls and Sho’s ‘yeah’s from under the dark shade beyond the stage light. Ohno approaches him, giving him a squeeze on the shoulder. “Nicely done. That’s a wrap.” And Nino grins to his audience, giving a two-finger salute.
Everyone is thanking him for letting them off work sooner than scheduled time when he exits the set. Takeda-san begins to break down the lighting stands and Yamada-chan is giving him a thumbs-up, saying she’s going to wait at the wardrobe room and he can take his time.
“This. This is the only reason why I keep up with your being such a pain in the ass all the time.” Sho gives him a loose hug and a kiss on the cheek before going to finish the work for the day. “You’re as brilliant as ever.” Aiba failed-winks at him, leans in closer, and whispers ‘your crush was tearing up like a proud boyfriend,’ before quickly running along to follow Sho and avoid another hard kick to the shin.
Matsumoto is standing with his back against the wall, hands folded on his chest and a blank expression.
“Hey. I heard you were here since earlier,” Nino greets him. “And you were tearing up.”
Matsumoto doesn’t laugh at the jab as Nino has expected. “How did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Now you’re being thick,” Matsumoto says. “Do what you just did now?”
“Play the piano?”
“How do you act like that?”
It isn’t comfortable at all to be under the scrutiny. Matsumoto keeps on staring at him, the way he was staring at the man during their first meeting; and now he knows how it is to be the one under an intense stare. “Was that another question for senpai?”
“It was a compliment, you jerk.” Matsumoto throws Nino’s words back at him but his tone remains tense and distant.
“That’s just acting,” Nino says, completely confused on how Matsumoto is reacting to the scene. He had expected praise-of course-or perhaps a harsh criticism, or a playful rib, but he certainly hadn’t expected this. What is this?
“That’s not acting,” Matsumoto says with eyes down as if in defeat but with a hint of awe and pride, “that was talent in its most mind-blowing form.”
The next week, Nino is about to leave his apartment for work when Sho’s frantically calling him to cancel the shoot for the next few days. “What’s with this sudden schedule change? Sho-chan, what happened? Yuriko-chan is not going to like this. This means I’m going to work on the weekend, right? I already promised to help her at the store.”
“Your crush is making things difficult. Again.”
“Stop using that word, will you? And I did talk to him. Talked some sense into him, just like Aiba-chan said. You finally approved the bill last week. I thought everything went smoothly with his shooting days.”
“Calling him your crush gives me so much satisfaction and I have to rant when I have to rant,” Sho rattles on. “I just got back from the apartment agent, trying to extend the rent for two more days and he gave me hell. It’ll cost us a lot and Ohno-sensei is not in his best mood, so basically everything is a mess. I still have to deal with-“
“Okay, I got it. Everything is a mess. But your dumping this on me will not get you anything. You should just-“
“At this rate, I don’t even know how we’re going to finish this goddamn film-“
“Okay. Too much information. Two days, right? I got it. Can you just rant to the next available person instead of taking it all out on me?”
“Two days,” Sho sighs heavily on the other end of the line. “Fine. I’ll call you later and dump all this crap on this nice lady sitting beside me on the bus stop. Thank you very much.”
Nino giggles at the thought of Sho ranting at a stranger. “Take care, Sho-chan.”
“Now that wasn’t so hard, right? Nice to have you finally say nice things to me. I already feel better.”
“I save the nice words only for the ones who’re in a pinch.”
“Ass.”
Nino hangs up on Sho with laughter. What happened now? He and Matsumoto didn’t actually part ways nicely the last time they met but it wasn’t something to worry about. He was exhausted after an intense scene that day and Matsumoto has been, dare he say it, a little bit insecure, which is not a problem for him, since it’s about the production first before anything. But if that leads Matsumoto to cause another problem for the production that means that he needs to deal with it again. He curses Aiba-chan in his head, for being a faux voice of reason, and himself for being overly attached to-okay, perhaps it’s finally time to admit the fact-his crush.
Nino has just finished ringing up the last purchase, bowing slightly to the lady costumer when he sees Matsumoto entering the store.
“How?” Nino can only gape at the man approaching the counter. “Why are you here? What do you want?”
Matsumoto stops right in front of him and asks calmly. “Can you teach me how to act?”
“What?”
“Now that was direct,” Yuriko chirps as she materializes beside Nino. ”And you look so much better in person, Sir.”
“Oh, shut up, he’s not a costumer.” Nino tries to silence her. “And you. Answer my question. Why are you here?”
“Thank you.” Matsumoto sends a distracted smile toward Yuriko. He turns back to Nino, offering a weak smile. “Well, I think there’s-“
Yuriko turns to Nino. “I’m not shutting up. I am the boss here. Even I-“
“Sorry,” Matsumoto says, unsure of whether he should go on with his explanation or not.
“No, you’re not sorry, you’re here already. Don’t mind her.” Nino waves away Matsumoto’s apology, encouraging him to continue instead. “What happened? And how the hell did you know that I work here?”
“I think I messed up. Big time,” Matsumoto says quietly. “Aiba-chan told me that I can find you here, that you might be able to help me.”
“That jerk,” Nino says, both for the location tattletale and the so-not-subtle effort to have Matsumoto consult him.
Yuriko coos at the explanation. “Oh, so Aiba-chan definitely approves.”
Matsumoto frowns at her. “Approves of what?”
Nino cuts her off before she can respond more. “If I promise to call you boss lady for the rest of my employment here, will you shut up and stay the hell out of this?”
“No. This opportunity is way too good to pass up,” she replies firmly, staring openly at Matsumoto without flinching. “I can definitely see why you’re nervous.”
Matsumoto replies to her. “I'm not nervous. Not that much.”
“Yuriko-chan!” Nino says exasperatedly to her. “She doesn’t mean you, Matsumoto.”
“So you both are nervous?” Yuriko blatantly ignores Nino and starts to lean over the counter to give some space to the two of them and an opportunity to herself to observe. “That’s so sweet. I approve of this, too!”
Matsumoto reads the situation better this time, ignoring Yuriko’s nonsensical comments and directly responding to Nino. “Can we get coffee? Or lunch? Or anything you want? Somewhere we can talk. Please.”
“Oh. Your treat?” Yuriko turns her gaze to Nino and scoots closer. “A serious man after your weak heart, Nino. He even asks nicely.” She actually winks at Matsumoto. “You’re okay, Matsumoto, even if you take Nino away on the weekends sometimes.”
“Yuriko-chan! I swear-“
Matsumoto is left confused, but he isn’t shaken. “I did? And thanks but have we met you before? I feel like we haven’t. I can’t be sure though.”
“Well,” she says, ignoring Nino, who’s fuming in his spot, right back. She takes a not-so-subtle side-glance toward the magazine rack. “I can definitely say we’ve met before.”
“So we’ve met before? I’m sorry, I don’t-“
“Can we just-okay, wait. Wait a minute you two. Don’t start a conversation out of blue as if you were friends or something. Just stop talking for a minute.” Nino holds his hands out as a final effort to stop them both from talking. He turns to Yuriko, stepping closer to deliver his message clear. “First. boss, can I have an extended lunch break?” Then he turns to Matsumoto. “And you. Will you just step outside and wait till I settle this with this bossy friend of mine? I’ll be out in a minute.”
“That’s boss lady to you, mister,” Yuriko scolds Nino, nudging him lightly.
“Whatever, I need-“
“I’m sorry. I’ve disturbed your work,” Matsumoto says, sounding heavily apologetic. “Yes, I’ll wait outside. I’m sorry.”
Yuriko shrugs, staying in her spot. “Well, I’m not going anywhere. I have a store to keep in order.”
“-Ryo-chan. I need him.” Half-shouting, Nino desperately tries to end this scene. “Ryo-chan, get here now!”
Matsumoto then walks toward the door in silence and heads out of the store, but not before aiming a confused gaze toward the two behind the counter.
Once the sliding door shuts, they stare at each other; Nino with a flushed face and Yuriko with a big creepy smile.
“So you better be back before 3 PM sharp or I’m going to start calling Aiba-chan and telling him that you’ve eloped with your gorgeous co-star and left me here alone with Ryo-chan during the afternoon rush hour.”
“No one is eloping and it won’t take more than an hour. And you’re enjoying this too much. I hate you,” Nino says. “Ryo-chan!”
“He’s probably still out back trying to sort out the leftover morning bentos. I’ll get him. You can go on and help him with acting,” she says, smiling wider and wider, “after you take that silly apron off though. I won’t approve of any misuse of store property outside of work hours.”
“I hate that now I have to thank you,” Nino says, taking off his apron quickly and storing it under the counter.
Yuriko sends a dismissive wave toward him. “I hate to say ‘you’re welcome’ but being a boss is tough work, being a good example and such.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I am a good example, thank you very much. Now, go. I can see he’s been staring at us since he stepped outside.”
“You’re definitely calling Aiba-chan the moment I’m gone, aren’t you?
“Definitely.” She grins widely before she turns her attention outside and sees Matsumoto staring at his shoes. “Oh and I think he’s going to start crying any minute from the look of it. You better get him. Offer some comfort or something.”
“Not funny.”
“He’s worth being nervous for though. Maybe you’ll get lucky this time.”
“Still not funny.”
“I wasn’t joking. Really, perhaps you’ll do well with this one,” Yuriko says, still with that creepy smile of hers, which means that she’s still teasing him; Nino knows better. “Have a nice lunch. Be back at 3! Or I’ll call Aiba-chan and Sho-kun.”
“Nothing’s stopping you after all.” Nino goes around the counter and heads toward the sliding door with his arm outstreched. “Tell Aiba-chan, I’ll murder him for this later.”
They don’t walk far; Matsumoto suggests they share coffee at the coffee shop a block from the store, and Nino, too drained from dealing with Yuriko to care, agrees. They settle for two black coffees at the corner table.
“Since we’re getting coffee now, that means you still owe me lunch.”
Matsumoto slides his cup farther aside on the table, taking his time with sugar and cream. “Fine, I’ll cook you lunch some other time.”
“That’d be nice.” Nino takes his phone out from his pocket and sets it on the table, face up, glancing at the time. “But the clock is ticking. I won’t be able to live it down if I get back later than 3 o’clock. So what happened?”
“I’ve been messing up my scenes.”
“And becoming the sole cause of this schedule delay we’re all experiencing right now?
Matsumoto looks more lost than embarrassed. “Yes.”
Nino sighs heavily. “Stop looking so lost and confused. It doesn’t suit you.”
“But I’m feeling lost and confused. I now know that there’s so much at stake, people are relying on me to execute the scene and move on to the next thing on the schedule, and I haven’t been-“
“Just stop.”
“I’m telling you what happened on the set. Nino, I can’t do this, I’m going to sabotage the whole production, and there’s nothing-“
“Stop!” Nino says, a little bit louder than he intends to. A few people turn their heads toward them but he chooses to ignore them. “Too much information. I don’t need to know about the schedule and such. That’s Sho-chan’s business. I asked you what happened. What kind of mess have you made? Which scene? Why?”
“I think it was because of you.”
Nino groans. “And do not bring me into this. I didn’t do anything!”
Matsumoto ignores him this time and continues with his explanation. “I kept thinking about your piano scene.”
“Thanks, but that’s not my fault at all.”
“And how to incorporate so many feelings into a scene, to display so many emotions from such short instructions from Sensei,” Matsumoto says, hands waving as he animates his points. “It got me thinking. My scenes, the ones I have completed, are nothing like that. Far from it. They always involve various poses, short lines of dialogue. And I feel like Sensei is asking something that I cannot bring to surface so everything feels… empty.”
Nino leans against the seat to marvel at Matsumoto, spurting out his thoughts, his concerns on him. How did this happen anyway? He remembers being nervous-with some eye-rolling avoidance tactics he was ready to employ-around the man, and one ramen treat later they are sharing-or maybe it’s Matsumoto who’s doing the sharing, he doesn’t do anything-worries and concern.
“How many times have you read the whole script?”
“Ten times from cover to cover, and then more on my specific parts.”
“And how would you describe the character you play?”
“Aloof, lonely, and an opportunist.”
“Does his life feel empty then?”
A spark of recognition. “Yes.”
“There. You’ve got it then. Problem one solved.” Nino raises his coffee mug to give a salute before taking a small sip. “Anything else? You know, I should charge you by the minute. I’d be a rich man by now if I’d thought about this earlier.”
Matsumoto stares at his untouched coffee. “I keep asking for a retake, and I talked to Ohno-sensei especially about this. I think he doesn’t really like my performance on this project. He said he wasn’t expecting me to deliver such a performance but he’ll make do.”
Nino considers his answer for a while. “He said he’ll make do, right?”
“Yes, but-“
“Then he’ll make do. Why does it bother you then?”
“Because I’m not able to deliver a kind of performance at your level.”
“Of course you can’t.”
Matsumoto looks completely dejected by the answer.
“Oh, I said stop it with the lost and confused look, I can only handle so much,” Nino says, drawing a small smile from Matsumoto. “What I wanted to say was that there’s no way you can deliver my kind of performance. Because it’s only me who can. No one else could.”
“Well, still.”
“I’m seeing no real life-threatening, suicide-inducing problem here. It’s all you, wrapped up in your own worry and causing problems for the production people. Again. I thought we talked about this.”
“But I just don’t know what to do. Now they are postponing everything for two days because Aiba-chan cannot get an extension on the warehouse and Sho-kun has to deal with equipment rental extension.”
“Too much information.” Nino waves away his concern again. “How do you know about these things anyway?”
“I ask them.”
“So you’ve been busy, worrying yourself to death and snooping around production team business.”
“Pretty much,” Matsumoto says, offering a sad smile. “Now that I’ve talked it out with you it does seem pretty stupid.”
“I should get you to call me senpai for the rest of my life. Seriously. All the advice I’m throwing your way seems to be bouncing back uselessly. Remember what I said about us actors?”
“We actors act.”
“And what have you been doing the past week?”
“Worrying myself to death and snooping around production team business.”
“Exactly,” Nino says with finality.
They fall into silence as they finish their coffee; Matsumoto offers to order another cup and Nino agrees-there’s still 20 minutes on the clock after all.
“Thank you,” Matsumoto says. ”I feel calmer now that I’ve talked to you. Sorry for the outburst and for bothering you with your work.”
“You are so hard to resist sometimes.” Nino shrugs. “And I have the worst friends on the planet.”
“They are very kind, you’re lucky,” Matsumoto says. “In fact, you know your way with the whole production team. I never have that closeness with my colleagues. You act like you are annoyed with all of them but you treat them well.”
“I’m still going to murder Aiba-chan the first chance I get.”
Matsumoto laughs at that, his eyes kind and thankful, and Nino falls; later, he tells himself, later when the project is done, when the scene is done, when everything is no longer complicated-yet when are things ever not complicated, he wants to argue. He glances down at his phone instead; 10 more minutes.
“10 more minutes,” he says to Matsumoto. “Anything else? Because if not, you should ask for the bill and send it to Sho-chan. I mean it. He needs to pay for this. I’m doing all the work around here.”
Two days later, Sho stops by at the store in the morning to meet him and buy some disgusting egg salad packages. “Everything is settled and we’re starting with your days again on Monday.”
“Roger that.”
“And your crush-slash-boyfriend is having an all night shooting day if you’re curious.” With eyebrows wiggling, and toned-down laugher, Sho emphasizes his last sentence.
“Sho-chan, I can get Yuriko-chan here in under 5 seconds and you’re going to eat your words.” He puts all of Sho’s items in a plastic bag after he rings them up. “4,500 yen.”
Sho gives him a 5000 bill, beaming smugly. “He’s been in your care. We all owe you for slapping him back into shape. Running all smoothly now.”
“You’re doing this to get back at me for of all the nagging I did during pre-production, right? Stopping by here so early in the morning.”
“Damn right. It’s good to finally have the chance to get back at you,” Sho says merrily. He’s about to add something else when a series of blinks and chirps come out from his tablet.
“But your mighty device is calling you.” Nino points helpfully to said device. “Now go away before I truly get Yuriko-chan here.”
A pair of lips lock. Audible panting. Forehead against forehead. Close. Sharing air.
“Want to try hugging each other first?” Matsumoto asks off-handedly in the wardrobe room. He’s already topless, and walking around the room, hands waving as he speaks.
Nino gapes at him in shock. “What?”
“We do need to practice. I haven’t as much as touched your hand,” Matsumoto coolly says.
“What?” Nino asks again, now that he realizes that they aren’t alone on the room. Yamada-chan is currently sitting on the floor next to his feet, fixing the bottom part of his over-sized pajama trousers, while Aiba-chan is trying his best to not audibly giggling as he reads the memo for today by the door.
“I don’t think I should make another ‘thick’ comment because the hilarity is beginning to wear thin. At least I can pay you back for the ‘can you teach me’ mess last week. I can’t act as well as you but I am good with posing. You don’t need to be nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” Nino says, a little bit too fast. “Don’t you trust these two jerks if they are telling you otherwise.”
“Yes, you are,” Matsumoto shrugs, not caring about audience, and that somehow annoys and impresses Nino at the same time. “Aiba-chan has been giving some hints but I didn’t think that far ahead. I’ve been too wrapped up in everything being so new around, moving so fast, and I totally didn’t notice it at first. But now that I think about it, you are-“
“-not nervous,” Nino finishes his sentence, sending a glare toward Aiba. “And I’m going to murder that tattletale Aiba-chan eventually.”
“Right.” A smile blooms on Matsumoto’s face, beautifully as he tries to not roll his eyes. “I’ve done a nude shot before,” he adds. “Really, it’s not that big a deal.”
“Too much information,” Nino says. Near his feet, Yamada-chan is definitely snorting as she works on his outfit, but he decides not to step on her hands because he’s a pro at this. “And you’re telling me this now, in the presence of these two members of the gossip troupe, because?”
Matsumoto stops in front of him, in all his barechested glory, and Nino is thinking that he probably could get used to it eventually-but probably not, it’s a sight to behold and he’s enjoying the view so far, even more that he probably should be.
“Well, if you’re curious, I can tell you few simple pointers. It shouldn’t bother you at all. It’s just work after all,” Matsumoto says, before realizing something. “Ah, perhaps that’s how acting is for you.”
“Not curious. Not at all.” Nino wishes he had his phone so he could at least seem to genuinely ignore Matsumoto. “And of course it’s just work. What are you thinking, you, over there trying to look busy with your paperwork?” He turns to point violently at Aiba, who only responds with an extended hand shrug and an eyebrow wiggle.
“Yes. It’s nothing personal.”
“I don’t need you to tell me that. I don’t need to remind you that I’m the senpai in all this.”
“No need indeed,” Matsumoto says, his tone serious. It doesn’t take much to realize that he was deliberately trying to comfort Nino. “I was just telling myself that it’s nothing personal. Nothing personal.”
“Shut up. Now you’re making me nervous,” Nino says. “And Yamada-chan, how much time you need to fix the seam of my pajamas anyway? I think you just want to be here to listen to our conversation and report back to Sho-chan later.”
She grins. “Mhm, but this needs serious, life-and-death level of serious, fixing, I probably would be here until they call you back to set. Yeah, I think I should stay here, you know, like a fly on the wall, or a wardrobe woman on an assignment.”
Aiba finally explodes into hiccup-giggles, and Matsumoto and Yamada-chan join in on the action, and it finally draws a relaxed smile from Nino.
Ohno meets them with raised eyebrows when they arrive at the set. “I heard some commotion back there.”
“It was all Matsumoto’s and Aiba-chan’s fault, Sensei,” Nino quickly explains. “They’re having too much fun with this.”
Ohno smiles. “And setting you both in good mood, I see. Good. We can start now if you’re ready.”
Matsumoto nods. “Sure.”
“I need few running test-shots first,” Ohno explains. “But since we’re short of time, the light and all, consider this as a real take. We’re doing all the shots in sequence, chronologically. Just like a photo shoot, Matsumoto. You lead the action. And Nino, you follow him.”
Nino nods and feels his entire body warm up in anticipation. Matsumoto turns to him, now looking not as confident as he was a few minutes ago, and Nino knows that they are going to do this properly; they can be nervous together and get the job done.
Ohno directs them to sit by the bed. “Let me arrange the background first. Takeda-san?”
Takeda-san comes onto the set, and with his team, he shifts the lighting for the vast window. It’s still daytime now, early afternoon, but they are going to do this at dusk so they are putting a few filters on the window, setting the mood of the bedroom into something dim and hazy.
“Okay. Positions.” Ohno has his assistant rearrange the overhead microphone as Nino lies down on the bed, waiting for Matsumoto to cover him with his body. Matsumoto’s chest is as clammy as his palms, and Nino feels a slight relief. They can do this. He’s not alone on this one; he has Matsumoto with him. He stares up at the eyes hovering above him, clear brown, seeing through his nervousness; he offers a small smirk and closes his eyes, ready for Ohno’s instructions. He hears rhythmic breathing from Matsumoto, and waits.
“Call it. Music!”
Music? Nino opens his eyes slowly to meet Matsumoto’s eyes, with more intensity, and catches the first bar of his piano piece drifting in at a low volume, so far yet so close. It’s heady, and the sole sight he can focus on is Matsumoto’s eyes, his hands moving to wrap around the man, waiting for his cue to ask for more; why didn’t they practice this?
Yet as it turns out, he’s glad they have never practiced this particular scene; everything is so new, so warm, so intoxicating. The bridge of his piano piece comes in repeat and- “Kiss him, Matsumoto. Slowly.” For a split second Matsumoto keeps on staring into Nino’s eyes, seeking permission he already has, before slowly lowering his lips-his lush lips, ones that have been haunting Nino since the day they met-to meet Nino’s. Soft and wet touches land on his lips and Nino swallows his moans; he returns the touches, meeting the slow rhythm Matsumoto sets as they keep their kisses unhurried, accentuating each touch with the light puffs of air they share.
“Repeat.” Matsumoto pulls back a little before repeating the same path again, this time properly starting from one corner of Nino’s mouth, making his slow way toward the other; it’s getting more and more difficult to keep his eyes open but Nino tries, keeping his eyelids heavy and letting Matsumoto control the rhythm before it falters a little bit when Ohno moves on with his camera closer to get them from the side. “Repeat.” Matsumoto shifts again, and this time Nino moves his hands on Matsumoto’s back a little bit lower, giving him more leverage to meet Matsumoto’s lips more every time he’s given another soft touch.
“Give me a deep kiss.” Matsumoto doesn't hesitate to set a faster pace, his hands moves up to thread his fingers in Nino’s hair, keeping his head still as he deepens the kiss; Nino stops trying to swallow his moans, letting them escape his mouth when Matsumoto pulls back. “Repeat.” Matsumoto does a good job, in his hazed mind, to keep the pace exactly the same, it’s becoming pattern after pattern. “Repeat. Long shot now. Legs, Matsumoto.” Ohno sounds so far at the moment and Nino feels Matsumoto shifts, pressing him further into the bed, while his lips repeat the pattern.
They repeat the long shot frame twice before Ohno’s voice sounds closer again. “Forehead. Keep still for few seconds, before you open your eyes.” Nino follows the instructions, counting his rapid heartbeat before again, finding Matsumoto’s eyes, heavy-lidded and shining with lust, so close. He breathes through his mouth, still open and wanting, wanting those lips to touch his again, and concentrates on not smiling. “Close your eyes and repeat.” And again, those eyes drown him. “Nino, close your eyes.” He complies and feels the bed shift on his right. His breathing is still a little bit erratic, and he doesn’t do anything to even it out; it feels right. “Look at Matsumoto. Open your eyes.” This time a lens looks back at him. “Give me warmth.” Nino brings the image of the sharp eyes-he’s seen it full of doubt, full of guilt, full of happiness, and now full of desire, dark and wanting. He wants more so he asks permission, seeks understanding, and wants love in return.
“Cut. Video check!”
OVER THE SHOULDER. Warm eyes.
Heat radiating; random deep violet flash over soft yellow light.
“You’re good,” Matsumoto says, sighing happily. They are waiting for Ohno to decide another shot, sitting on the chairs on the left side of the set far from the commotion on behind the monitor. Except for when Yamada-chan gives them their bathrobes, no crew members-not even Aiba-chan and Sho-approach them. Whether it’s for the sake of the shooting mood or not, Nino is grateful he doesn’t have to deal with them right now.
“Thanks. I can certainly return the compliment to you.”
“Nino.”
“Yes-“ He turns and finds Matsumoto leaning toward him, dropping a soft kiss on his right cheek and pulling back with a big smile.
“W-what?”
“Let’s start with cheek kisses first. We have plenty of time before we need to jump to bed.”
Nino feels his cheeks flushing, but it isn’t an unwelcome feeling, in fact it feels tingly, good the kind of tingly. Everything is warm again and Matsumoto just kissed him on the cheek. “We just spent a day half naked in bed, pressed into each other-“
“That didn’t count.”
“Says you.”
“Says I,” Matsumoto says. “I’ve decided that while I might be terrible at acting, I learned a lot these two months. I don’t know if I’m going to do it again. It sure is more difficult that just posing for the still camera.“
“You should save the speech for the wrap-up party,” Nino mutters his protest-it’s getting hard to protest for something that he doesn’t want to protest in the first place.
“Yet I’m glad I got to practice with you.”
Nino can’t help but smile at the sentiment, but for now he keeps the sentiment to himself. Not yet. They haven’t even finished filming yet. Not until the last scene is done, not until the wrap-up party is done, not until he gets his next project. Not until Matsumoto can convince him again; he’ll be waiting. “If I didn't know better, I’d take that as a cheap comment, an effort to be on my good side and have me treat you to ramen again even when you still owe me a lunch.”
“Maybe.” Matsumoto smiles knowingly at him. “Or maybe I just hate you,” he adds with the same delight sparkles in his eyes.
They are the same sparkles Nino finds sending nice warmth creeping up to his cheeks, the ones that have kept him staring during the first meeting, the ones that keeps him nervous all along, the ones mirroring his. He turns to Matsumoto with a wide grins and replies, “I hate you, too.”
.
During primary shooting days, Nino’s schedule doesn’t allow him to meet with Matsumoto. He works with Ohno-sensei and the crew, completing one scene after another, following the scheduling to the dot-except once or twice when they encounter minor technical details. He’s witnessed Ohno-sensei change the scene details six times before getting what he wanted; he’s giggled over Sho’s mini fit of rage when the catering delivery comes late one afternoon; he’s had to apply his own makeup to keep up with the scene when Yamada-chan was late one morning; and he’s finally kicked Aiba-chan hard in the shin for loudly squealing ‘Nino, your crush is here’ when Matsumoto visits his shoot.
“Ouch, that wasn’t nice of you,” Aiba pouts in pain, but his eyes are shining with glee.
“You weren’t nice first,” Nino replies, suddenly aware of everything; his concentration’s completely blown by the simple presence of the other man.
They are finally getting down to scene number 5; this time a shiny white piano is placed in the middle of the set-Nino doesn’t even want to know how Takeda-san managed to fit it into the basement. He’s already in the black suit; it fits perfectly now that Yamada-chan has done her complete magic-the corsage is light yellow now. All thoughts about Matsumoto on set, or that Sho’s forgotten about giving him a coffee refill again, or that Aiba is still wiggling his eyebrows, are set aside when Ohno-sensei calls for him to enter the set. The stool is the same, and the height is already perfect. He gives the keys a light brush of his fingers and takes his seat in the center of the spotlight, waiting for instructions.
“I need a change of battery,” Ohno instructs his assistant while walking toward Nino, waving the camera in his hand. “And give me the .72.” The assistant takes the camera and moves quickly to the monitor section.
“Nino, we did this before,” Ohno says, standing by the piano next to him, touching the keys lightly.
“Yes.”
“But you’re nervous now.”
Nino flushes. “Sensei, I’m fine. It’s not going to-“
Ohno smiles at him. “Which is good, I think, because I need you nervous during the first few bars. You can play smoother later. That’s better for the scene.”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so,” Ohno says, confirming before pointing out more directions. “The door is still over there. Slouch and eyes off the keys. Remember?”
“I do.”
“I'll ask for a few repetitions. Just keep playing. You don’t need to stop, just go back a bar or two, and give me the mood I want.”
“Okay.”
“Good.” Ohno then turns to get the scene going. “My camera, please! And Takeda-san? Two degrees down on the left filler, please.” Takeda-san complies without fuss and Ohno receives his camera again and gives his final instructions. “We’re starting. Call it!”
Two beats after the call is finished, Nino hits the first key.
His fingers dance as he delivers the exact melody that he played during the rehearsal. Ohno gets closer, setting the camera focus on his fingers, and Nino keeps on going. “Repeat!” He smoothly goes back to the refrain, just when Ohno was getting closer before, and reaches the same notes with the same precise hits. “Repeat!” Nino goes back again, in full control of the melody, playing the same bars. “Repeat.” And again. “Repeat.” And again, until he catches the sight of Ohno pulling back in the corner of his eyes, getting a larger frame of the scene. He sets his face straight and ready for the deep close ups.
Ohno’s instructions come in a distant low voice. “The door.” He looks over to the direction of the door and skips the refrain and goes on playing the bridge without altering his rhythm-it’s a much slower part of the song, much more sincere, much more depressed. He fixes his gaze at a point in the right direction and plays the next bar. “I’m not getting the seduction. Repeat.” He takes a deep breath and goes to the beginning of the bridge; this time he lets his eyelids drop slower, taking a more noticeable sigh each time. “That’s it. Keep it going. Repeat!” And he does the exact same action one more time.
Ohno doesn’t give any instructions when he finishes the bridge, so Nino segues to the next part of the song, the final part with the high notes. He hits the keys with more enthusiasm, going for closure at a fast pace. He is almost at the last bar when Ohno comes closer again. “Repeat.” Nino does as instructed, keeping his expression the same as before; he is almost at the last bar again when this time Ohno whispers his instructions. “Tears. I want to see tears.” And Nino can only take a deep breath, letting his emotions and the melody overwhelm him in sudden waves. Of a man he loves, of a man who leaves him, of a man who kicks him when he’s down, of a man who uses him for pleasure, of a man who practices on his heart.
“Repeat.”
Nino gasps and lets the melody takes him this time; there’s no boundaries, no end to the surge of feelings now enshrouding him, letting him hitting the high notes again and again, surrounding everything with sorrow and sadness and the man who never loves him. Tears run freely, as he keeps his blurry vision on the door, still waiting for the man who didn’t come back, who will never come back. “Back one bar. Wipe your tears. Gently.” He sighs this time; there’s no good in hoping for what you can’t get, there’s nothing good in this world, he cannot trust anyone and that’s fact. He uses a finger to wipe the tears from his right cheek, keeping the other hand playing the low tones.
He continues playing the last notes when Ohno doesn’t say repeat this time. The song is coming to an end, the seduction is long forgotten, the sorrow has taken over everything. “Finish it,” Ohno finally says, pulling back to a long shot distance and Nino complies. He turns his eyes away from the door and onto the keys, hits the last note and keeps his head down. He lets a long silence follows-Ohno doesn’t give any further instructions-and follows, until a precise moment, when it is utterly silent and he feels the pang of pain in his chest. His heart is devastatingly broken. He hits the last note again, keeping pressing until the last echo fades under the stage light, until his eyes are dry again, until the end.
“Cut. We’re done with this scene.”
Nino lets out a big sigh, and for a moment, silence still envelops the set before there’s round of applause. He can hear Aiba’s catcalls and Sho’s ‘yeah’s from under the dark shade beyond the stage light. Ohno approaches him, giving him a squeeze on the shoulder. “Nicely done. That’s a wrap.” And Nino grins to his audience, giving a two-finger salute.
Everyone is thanking him for letting them off work sooner than scheduled time when he exits the set. Takeda-san begins to break down the lighting stands and Yamada-chan is giving him a thumbs-up, saying she’s going to wait at the wardrobe room and he can take his time.
“This. This is the only reason why I keep up with your being such a pain in the ass all the time.” Sho gives him a loose hug and a kiss on the cheek before going to finish the work for the day. “You’re as brilliant as ever.” Aiba failed-winks at him, leans in closer, and whispers ‘your crush was tearing up like a proud boyfriend,’ before quickly running along to follow Sho and avoid another hard kick to the shin.
Matsumoto is standing with his back against the wall, hands folded on his chest and a blank expression.
“Hey. I heard you were here since earlier,” Nino greets him. “And you were tearing up.”
Matsumoto doesn’t laugh at the jab as Nino has expected. “How did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Now you’re being thick,” Matsumoto says. “Do what you just did now?”
“Play the piano?”
“How do you act like that?”
It isn’t comfortable at all to be under the scrutiny. Matsumoto keeps on staring at him, the way he was staring at the man during their first meeting; and now he knows how it is to be the one under an intense stare. “Was that another question for senpai?”
“It was a compliment, you jerk.” Matsumoto throws Nino’s words back at him but his tone remains tense and distant.
“That’s just acting,” Nino says, completely confused on how Matsumoto is reacting to the scene. He had expected praise-of course-or perhaps a harsh criticism, or a playful rib, but he certainly hadn’t expected this. What is this?
“That’s not acting,” Matsumoto says with eyes down as if in defeat but with a hint of awe and pride, “that was talent in its most mind-blowing form.”
The next week, Nino is about to leave his apartment for work when Sho’s frantically calling him to cancel the shoot for the next few days. “What’s with this sudden schedule change? Sho-chan, what happened? Yuriko-chan is not going to like this. This means I’m going to work on the weekend, right? I already promised to help her at the store.”
“Your crush is making things difficult. Again.”
“Stop using that word, will you? And I did talk to him. Talked some sense into him, just like Aiba-chan said. You finally approved the bill last week. I thought everything went smoothly with his shooting days.”
“Calling him your crush gives me so much satisfaction and I have to rant when I have to rant,” Sho rattles on. “I just got back from the apartment agent, trying to extend the rent for two more days and he gave me hell. It’ll cost us a lot and Ohno-sensei is not in his best mood, so basically everything is a mess. I still have to deal with-“
“Okay, I got it. Everything is a mess. But your dumping this on me will not get you anything. You should just-“
“At this rate, I don’t even know how we’re going to finish this goddamn film-“
“Okay. Too much information. Two days, right? I got it. Can you just rant to the next available person instead of taking it all out on me?”
“Two days,” Sho sighs heavily on the other end of the line. “Fine. I’ll call you later and dump all this crap on this nice lady sitting beside me on the bus stop. Thank you very much.”
Nino giggles at the thought of Sho ranting at a stranger. “Take care, Sho-chan.”
“Now that wasn’t so hard, right? Nice to have you finally say nice things to me. I already feel better.”
“I save the nice words only for the ones who’re in a pinch.”
“Ass.”
Nino hangs up on Sho with laughter. What happened now? He and Matsumoto didn’t actually part ways nicely the last time they met but it wasn’t something to worry about. He was exhausted after an intense scene that day and Matsumoto has been, dare he say it, a little bit insecure, which is not a problem for him, since it’s about the production first before anything. But if that leads Matsumoto to cause another problem for the production that means that he needs to deal with it again. He curses Aiba-chan in his head, for being a faux voice of reason, and himself for being overly attached to-okay, perhaps it’s finally time to admit the fact-his crush.
Nino has just finished ringing up the last purchase, bowing slightly to the lady costumer when he sees Matsumoto entering the store.
“How?” Nino can only gape at the man approaching the counter. “Why are you here? What do you want?”
Matsumoto stops right in front of him and asks calmly. “Can you teach me how to act?”
“What?”
“Now that was direct,” Yuriko chirps as she materializes beside Nino. ”And you look so much better in person, Sir.”
“Oh, shut up, he’s not a costumer.” Nino tries to silence her. “And you. Answer my question. Why are you here?”
“Thank you.” Matsumoto sends a distracted smile toward Yuriko. He turns back to Nino, offering a weak smile. “Well, I think there’s-“
Yuriko turns to Nino. “I’m not shutting up. I am the boss here. Even I-“
“Sorry,” Matsumoto says, unsure of whether he should go on with his explanation or not.
“No, you’re not sorry, you’re here already. Don’t mind her.” Nino waves away Matsumoto’s apology, encouraging him to continue instead. “What happened? And how the hell did you know that I work here?”
“I think I messed up. Big time,” Matsumoto says quietly. “Aiba-chan told me that I can find you here, that you might be able to help me.”
“That jerk,” Nino says, both for the location tattletale and the so-not-subtle effort to have Matsumoto consult him.
Yuriko coos at the explanation. “Oh, so Aiba-chan definitely approves.”
Matsumoto frowns at her. “Approves of what?”
Nino cuts her off before she can respond more. “If I promise to call you boss lady for the rest of my employment here, will you shut up and stay the hell out of this?”
“No. This opportunity is way too good to pass up,” she replies firmly, staring openly at Matsumoto without flinching. “I can definitely see why you’re nervous.”
Matsumoto replies to her. “I'm not nervous. Not that much.”
“Yuriko-chan!” Nino says exasperatedly to her. “She doesn’t mean you, Matsumoto.”
“So you both are nervous?” Yuriko blatantly ignores Nino and starts to lean over the counter to give some space to the two of them and an opportunity to herself to observe. “That’s so sweet. I approve of this, too!”
Matsumoto reads the situation better this time, ignoring Yuriko’s nonsensical comments and directly responding to Nino. “Can we get coffee? Or lunch? Or anything you want? Somewhere we can talk. Please.”
“Oh. Your treat?” Yuriko turns her gaze to Nino and scoots closer. “A serious man after your weak heart, Nino. He even asks nicely.” She actually winks at Matsumoto. “You’re okay, Matsumoto, even if you take Nino away on the weekends sometimes.”
“Yuriko-chan! I swear-“
Matsumoto is left confused, but he isn’t shaken. “I did? And thanks but have we met you before? I feel like we haven’t. I can’t be sure though.”
“Well,” she says, ignoring Nino, who’s fuming in his spot, right back. She takes a not-so-subtle side-glance toward the magazine rack. “I can definitely say we’ve met before.”
“So we’ve met before? I’m sorry, I don’t-“
“Can we just-okay, wait. Wait a minute you two. Don’t start a conversation out of blue as if you were friends or something. Just stop talking for a minute.” Nino holds his hands out as a final effort to stop them both from talking. He turns to Yuriko, stepping closer to deliver his message clear. “First. boss, can I have an extended lunch break?” Then he turns to Matsumoto. “And you. Will you just step outside and wait till I settle this with this bossy friend of mine? I’ll be out in a minute.”
“That’s boss lady to you, mister,” Yuriko scolds Nino, nudging him lightly.
“Whatever, I need-“
“I’m sorry. I’ve disturbed your work,” Matsumoto says, sounding heavily apologetic. “Yes, I’ll wait outside. I’m sorry.”
Yuriko shrugs, staying in her spot. “Well, I’m not going anywhere. I have a store to keep in order.”
“-Ryo-chan. I need him.” Half-shouting, Nino desperately tries to end this scene. “Ryo-chan, get here now!”
Matsumoto then walks toward the door in silence and heads out of the store, but not before aiming a confused gaze toward the two behind the counter.
Once the sliding door shuts, they stare at each other; Nino with a flushed face and Yuriko with a big creepy smile.
“So you better be back before 3 PM sharp or I’m going to start calling Aiba-chan and telling him that you’ve eloped with your gorgeous co-star and left me here alone with Ryo-chan during the afternoon rush hour.”
“No one is eloping and it won’t take more than an hour. And you’re enjoying this too much. I hate you,” Nino says. “Ryo-chan!”
“He’s probably still out back trying to sort out the leftover morning bentos. I’ll get him. You can go on and help him with acting,” she says, smiling wider and wider, “after you take that silly apron off though. I won’t approve of any misuse of store property outside of work hours.”
“I hate that now I have to thank you,” Nino says, taking off his apron quickly and storing it under the counter.
Yuriko sends a dismissive wave toward him. “I hate to say ‘you’re welcome’ but being a boss is tough work, being a good example and such.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I am a good example, thank you very much. Now, go. I can see he’s been staring at us since he stepped outside.”
“You’re definitely calling Aiba-chan the moment I’m gone, aren’t you?
“Definitely.” She grins widely before she turns her attention outside and sees Matsumoto staring at his shoes. “Oh and I think he’s going to start crying any minute from the look of it. You better get him. Offer some comfort or something.”
“Not funny.”
“He’s worth being nervous for though. Maybe you’ll get lucky this time.”
“Still not funny.”
“I wasn’t joking. Really, perhaps you’ll do well with this one,” Yuriko says, still with that creepy smile of hers, which means that she’s still teasing him; Nino knows better. “Have a nice lunch. Be back at 3! Or I’ll call Aiba-chan and Sho-kun.”
“Nothing’s stopping you after all.” Nino goes around the counter and heads toward the sliding door with his arm outstreched. “Tell Aiba-chan, I’ll murder him for this later.”
They don’t walk far; Matsumoto suggests they share coffee at the coffee shop a block from the store, and Nino, too drained from dealing with Yuriko to care, agrees. They settle for two black coffees at the corner table.
“Since we’re getting coffee now, that means you still owe me lunch.”
Matsumoto slides his cup farther aside on the table, taking his time with sugar and cream. “Fine, I’ll cook you lunch some other time.”
“That’d be nice.” Nino takes his phone out from his pocket and sets it on the table, face up, glancing at the time. “But the clock is ticking. I won’t be able to live it down if I get back later than 3 o’clock. So what happened?”
“I’ve been messing up my scenes.”
“And becoming the sole cause of this schedule delay we’re all experiencing right now?
Matsumoto looks more lost than embarrassed. “Yes.”
Nino sighs heavily. “Stop looking so lost and confused. It doesn’t suit you.”
“But I’m feeling lost and confused. I now know that there’s so much at stake, people are relying on me to execute the scene and move on to the next thing on the schedule, and I haven’t been-“
“Just stop.”
“I’m telling you what happened on the set. Nino, I can’t do this, I’m going to sabotage the whole production, and there’s nothing-“
“Stop!” Nino says, a little bit louder than he intends to. A few people turn their heads toward them but he chooses to ignore them. “Too much information. I don’t need to know about the schedule and such. That’s Sho-chan’s business. I asked you what happened. What kind of mess have you made? Which scene? Why?”
“I think it was because of you.”
Nino groans. “And do not bring me into this. I didn’t do anything!”
Matsumoto ignores him this time and continues with his explanation. “I kept thinking about your piano scene.”
“Thanks, but that’s not my fault at all.”
“And how to incorporate so many feelings into a scene, to display so many emotions from such short instructions from Sensei,” Matsumoto says, hands waving as he animates his points. “It got me thinking. My scenes, the ones I have completed, are nothing like that. Far from it. They always involve various poses, short lines of dialogue. And I feel like Sensei is asking something that I cannot bring to surface so everything feels… empty.”
Nino leans against the seat to marvel at Matsumoto, spurting out his thoughts, his concerns on him. How did this happen anyway? He remembers being nervous-with some eye-rolling avoidance tactics he was ready to employ-around the man, and one ramen treat later they are sharing-or maybe it’s Matsumoto who’s doing the sharing, he doesn’t do anything-worries and concern.
“How many times have you read the whole script?”
“Ten times from cover to cover, and then more on my specific parts.”
“And how would you describe the character you play?”
“Aloof, lonely, and an opportunist.”
“Does his life feel empty then?”
A spark of recognition. “Yes.”
“There. You’ve got it then. Problem one solved.” Nino raises his coffee mug to give a salute before taking a small sip. “Anything else? You know, I should charge you by the minute. I’d be a rich man by now if I’d thought about this earlier.”
Matsumoto stares at his untouched coffee. “I keep asking for a retake, and I talked to Ohno-sensei especially about this. I think he doesn’t really like my performance on this project. He said he wasn’t expecting me to deliver such a performance but he’ll make do.”
Nino considers his answer for a while. “He said he’ll make do, right?”
“Yes, but-“
“Then he’ll make do. Why does it bother you then?”
“Because I’m not able to deliver a kind of performance at your level.”
“Of course you can’t.”
Matsumoto looks completely dejected by the answer.
“Oh, I said stop it with the lost and confused look, I can only handle so much,” Nino says, drawing a small smile from Matsumoto. “What I wanted to say was that there’s no way you can deliver my kind of performance. Because it’s only me who can. No one else could.”
“Well, still.”
“I’m seeing no real life-threatening, suicide-inducing problem here. It’s all you, wrapped up in your own worry and causing problems for the production people. Again. I thought we talked about this.”
“But I just don’t know what to do. Now they are postponing everything for two days because Aiba-chan cannot get an extension on the warehouse and Sho-kun has to deal with equipment rental extension.”
“Too much information.” Nino waves away his concern again. “How do you know about these things anyway?”
“I ask them.”
“So you’ve been busy, worrying yourself to death and snooping around production team business.”
“Pretty much,” Matsumoto says, offering a sad smile. “Now that I’ve talked it out with you it does seem pretty stupid.”
“I should get you to call me senpai for the rest of my life. Seriously. All the advice I’m throwing your way seems to be bouncing back uselessly. Remember what I said about us actors?”
“We actors act.”
“And what have you been doing the past week?”
“Worrying myself to death and snooping around production team business.”
“Exactly,” Nino says with finality.
They fall into silence as they finish their coffee; Matsumoto offers to order another cup and Nino agrees-there’s still 20 minutes on the clock after all.
“Thank you,” Matsumoto says. ”I feel calmer now that I’ve talked to you. Sorry for the outburst and for bothering you with your work.”
“You are so hard to resist sometimes.” Nino shrugs. “And I have the worst friends on the planet.”
“They are very kind, you’re lucky,” Matsumoto says. “In fact, you know your way with the whole production team. I never have that closeness with my colleagues. You act like you are annoyed with all of them but you treat them well.”
“I’m still going to murder Aiba-chan the first chance I get.”
Matsumoto laughs at that, his eyes kind and thankful, and Nino falls; later, he tells himself, later when the project is done, when the scene is done, when everything is no longer complicated-yet when are things ever not complicated, he wants to argue. He glances down at his phone instead; 10 more minutes.
“10 more minutes,” he says to Matsumoto. “Anything else? Because if not, you should ask for the bill and send it to Sho-chan. I mean it. He needs to pay for this. I’m doing all the work around here.”
Two days later, Sho stops by at the store in the morning to meet him and buy some disgusting egg salad packages. “Everything is settled and we’re starting with your days again on Monday.”
“Roger that.”
“And your crush-slash-boyfriend is having an all night shooting day if you’re curious.” With eyebrows wiggling, and toned-down laugher, Sho emphasizes his last sentence.
“Sho-chan, I can get Yuriko-chan here in under 5 seconds and you’re going to eat your words.” He puts all of Sho’s items in a plastic bag after he rings them up. “4,500 yen.”
Sho gives him a 5000 bill, beaming smugly. “He’s been in your care. We all owe you for slapping him back into shape. Running all smoothly now.”
“You’re doing this to get back at me for of all the nagging I did during pre-production, right? Stopping by here so early in the morning.”
“Damn right. It’s good to finally have the chance to get back at you,” Sho says merrily. He’s about to add something else when a series of blinks and chirps come out from his tablet.
“But your mighty device is calling you.” Nino points helpfully to said device. “Now go away before I truly get Yuriko-chan here.”
A pair of lips lock. Audible panting. Forehead against forehead. Close. Sharing air.
“Want to try hugging each other first?” Matsumoto asks off-handedly in the wardrobe room. He’s already topless, and walking around the room, hands waving as he speaks.
Nino gapes at him in shock. “What?”
“We do need to practice. I haven’t as much as touched your hand,” Matsumoto coolly says.
“What?” Nino asks again, now that he realizes that they aren’t alone on the room. Yamada-chan is currently sitting on the floor next to his feet, fixing the bottom part of his over-sized pajama trousers, while Aiba-chan is trying his best to not audibly giggling as he reads the memo for today by the door.
“I don’t think I should make another ‘thick’ comment because the hilarity is beginning to wear thin. At least I can pay you back for the ‘can you teach me’ mess last week. I can’t act as well as you but I am good with posing. You don’t need to be nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” Nino says, a little bit too fast. “Don’t you trust these two jerks if they are telling you otherwise.”
“Yes, you are,” Matsumoto shrugs, not caring about audience, and that somehow annoys and impresses Nino at the same time. “Aiba-chan has been giving some hints but I didn’t think that far ahead. I’ve been too wrapped up in everything being so new around, moving so fast, and I totally didn’t notice it at first. But now that I think about it, you are-“
“-not nervous,” Nino finishes his sentence, sending a glare toward Aiba. “And I’m going to murder that tattletale Aiba-chan eventually.”
“Right.” A smile blooms on Matsumoto’s face, beautifully as he tries to not roll his eyes. “I’ve done a nude shot before,” he adds. “Really, it’s not that big a deal.”
“Too much information,” Nino says. Near his feet, Yamada-chan is definitely snorting as she works on his outfit, but he decides not to step on her hands because he’s a pro at this. “And you’re telling me this now, in the presence of these two members of the gossip troupe, because?”
Matsumoto stops in front of him, in all his barechested glory, and Nino is thinking that he probably could get used to it eventually-but probably not, it’s a sight to behold and he’s enjoying the view so far, even more that he probably should be.
“Well, if you’re curious, I can tell you few simple pointers. It shouldn’t bother you at all. It’s just work after all,” Matsumoto says, before realizing something. “Ah, perhaps that’s how acting is for you.”
“Not curious. Not at all.” Nino wishes he had his phone so he could at least seem to genuinely ignore Matsumoto. “And of course it’s just work. What are you thinking, you, over there trying to look busy with your paperwork?” He turns to point violently at Aiba, who only responds with an extended hand shrug and an eyebrow wiggle.
“Yes. It’s nothing personal.”
“I don’t need you to tell me that. I don’t need to remind you that I’m the senpai in all this.”
“No need indeed,” Matsumoto says, his tone serious. It doesn’t take much to realize that he was deliberately trying to comfort Nino. “I was just telling myself that it’s nothing personal. Nothing personal.”
“Shut up. Now you’re making me nervous,” Nino says. “And Yamada-chan, how much time you need to fix the seam of my pajamas anyway? I think you just want to be here to listen to our conversation and report back to Sho-chan later.”
She grins. “Mhm, but this needs serious, life-and-death level of serious, fixing, I probably would be here until they call you back to set. Yeah, I think I should stay here, you know, like a fly on the wall, or a wardrobe woman on an assignment.”
Aiba finally explodes into hiccup-giggles, and Matsumoto and Yamada-chan join in on the action, and it finally draws a relaxed smile from Nino.
Ohno meets them with raised eyebrows when they arrive at the set. “I heard some commotion back there.”
“It was all Matsumoto’s and Aiba-chan’s fault, Sensei,” Nino quickly explains. “They’re having too much fun with this.”
Ohno smiles. “And setting you both in good mood, I see. Good. We can start now if you’re ready.”
Matsumoto nods. “Sure.”
“I need few running test-shots first,” Ohno explains. “But since we’re short of time, the light and all, consider this as a real take. We’re doing all the shots in sequence, chronologically. Just like a photo shoot, Matsumoto. You lead the action. And Nino, you follow him.”
Nino nods and feels his entire body warm up in anticipation. Matsumoto turns to him, now looking not as confident as he was a few minutes ago, and Nino knows that they are going to do this properly; they can be nervous together and get the job done.
Ohno directs them to sit by the bed. “Let me arrange the background first. Takeda-san?”
Takeda-san comes onto the set, and with his team, he shifts the lighting for the vast window. It’s still daytime now, early afternoon, but they are going to do this at dusk so they are putting a few filters on the window, setting the mood of the bedroom into something dim and hazy.
“Okay. Positions.” Ohno has his assistant rearrange the overhead microphone as Nino lies down on the bed, waiting for Matsumoto to cover him with his body. Matsumoto’s chest is as clammy as his palms, and Nino feels a slight relief. They can do this. He’s not alone on this one; he has Matsumoto with him. He stares up at the eyes hovering above him, clear brown, seeing through his nervousness; he offers a small smirk and closes his eyes, ready for Ohno’s instructions. He hears rhythmic breathing from Matsumoto, and waits.
“Call it. Music!”
Music? Nino opens his eyes slowly to meet Matsumoto’s eyes, with more intensity, and catches the first bar of his piano piece drifting in at a low volume, so far yet so close. It’s heady, and the sole sight he can focus on is Matsumoto’s eyes, his hands moving to wrap around the man, waiting for his cue to ask for more; why didn’t they practice this?
Yet as it turns out, he’s glad they have never practiced this particular scene; everything is so new, so warm, so intoxicating. The bridge of his piano piece comes in repeat and- “Kiss him, Matsumoto. Slowly.” For a split second Matsumoto keeps on staring into Nino’s eyes, seeking permission he already has, before slowly lowering his lips-his lush lips, ones that have been haunting Nino since the day they met-to meet Nino’s. Soft and wet touches land on his lips and Nino swallows his moans; he returns the touches, meeting the slow rhythm Matsumoto sets as they keep their kisses unhurried, accentuating each touch with the light puffs of air they share.
“Repeat.” Matsumoto pulls back a little before repeating the same path again, this time properly starting from one corner of Nino’s mouth, making his slow way toward the other; it’s getting more and more difficult to keep his eyes open but Nino tries, keeping his eyelids heavy and letting Matsumoto control the rhythm before it falters a little bit when Ohno moves on with his camera closer to get them from the side. “Repeat.” Matsumoto shifts again, and this time Nino moves his hands on Matsumoto’s back a little bit lower, giving him more leverage to meet Matsumoto’s lips more every time he’s given another soft touch.
“Give me a deep kiss.” Matsumoto doesn't hesitate to set a faster pace, his hands moves up to thread his fingers in Nino’s hair, keeping his head still as he deepens the kiss; Nino stops trying to swallow his moans, letting them escape his mouth when Matsumoto pulls back. “Repeat.” Matsumoto does a good job, in his hazed mind, to keep the pace exactly the same, it’s becoming pattern after pattern. “Repeat. Long shot now. Legs, Matsumoto.” Ohno sounds so far at the moment and Nino feels Matsumoto shifts, pressing him further into the bed, while his lips repeat the pattern.
They repeat the long shot frame twice before Ohno’s voice sounds closer again. “Forehead. Keep still for few seconds, before you open your eyes.” Nino follows the instructions, counting his rapid heartbeat before again, finding Matsumoto’s eyes, heavy-lidded and shining with lust, so close. He breathes through his mouth, still open and wanting, wanting those lips to touch his again, and concentrates on not smiling. “Close your eyes and repeat.” And again, those eyes drown him. “Nino, close your eyes.” He complies and feels the bed shift on his right. His breathing is still a little bit erratic, and he doesn’t do anything to even it out; it feels right. “Look at Matsumoto. Open your eyes.” This time a lens looks back at him. “Give me warmth.” Nino brings the image of the sharp eyes-he’s seen it full of doubt, full of guilt, full of happiness, and now full of desire, dark and wanting. He wants more so he asks permission, seeks understanding, and wants love in return.
“Cut. Video check!”
OVER THE SHOULDER. Warm eyes.
Heat radiating; random deep violet flash over soft yellow light.
“You’re good,” Matsumoto says, sighing happily. They are waiting for Ohno to decide another shot, sitting on the chairs on the left side of the set far from the commotion on behind the monitor. Except for when Yamada-chan gives them their bathrobes, no crew members-not even Aiba-chan and Sho-approach them. Whether it’s for the sake of the shooting mood or not, Nino is grateful he doesn’t have to deal with them right now.
“Thanks. I can certainly return the compliment to you.”
“Nino.”
“Yes-“ He turns and finds Matsumoto leaning toward him, dropping a soft kiss on his right cheek and pulling back with a big smile.
“W-what?”
“Let’s start with cheek kisses first. We have plenty of time before we need to jump to bed.”
Nino feels his cheeks flushing, but it isn’t an unwelcome feeling, in fact it feels tingly, good the kind of tingly. Everything is warm again and Matsumoto just kissed him on the cheek. “We just spent a day half naked in bed, pressed into each other-“
“That didn’t count.”
“Says you.”
“Says I,” Matsumoto says. “I’ve decided that while I might be terrible at acting, I learned a lot these two months. I don’t know if I’m going to do it again. It sure is more difficult that just posing for the still camera.“
“You should save the speech for the wrap-up party,” Nino mutters his protest-it’s getting hard to protest for something that he doesn’t want to protest in the first place.
“Yet I’m glad I got to practice with you.”
Nino can’t help but smile at the sentiment, but for now he keeps the sentiment to himself. Not yet. They haven’t even finished filming yet. Not until the last scene is done, not until the wrap-up party is done, not until he gets his next project. Not until Matsumoto can convince him again; he’ll be waiting. “If I didn't know better, I’d take that as a cheap comment, an effort to be on my good side and have me treat you to ramen again even when you still owe me a lunch.”
“Maybe.” Matsumoto smiles knowingly at him. “Or maybe I just hate you,” he adds with the same delight sparkles in his eyes.
They are the same sparkles Nino finds sending nice warmth creeping up to his cheeks, the ones that have kept him staring during the first meeting, the ones that keeps him nervous all along, the ones mirroring his. He turns to Matsumoto with a wide grins and replies, “I hate you, too.”
.