Still Awake
Yep still awake,this sucks . Ive been awake since sunday morning . Havent gone like this for awhile,rather annoying. I used to do this shit all the time. Alot of times I toss and turn and flop around all night only sleeping a couple hours but at least I do sleep...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Waking dreams are fun,,,didnt know where I was or what day it was earlier,.wonder if I will start seeing shit the way I used to when I would stay awake for almost a week at a time.
I cant draw any more,,,,thats just fucking craptastic dusted off one of my old drawing pads and though it would help relax me,,but I just kept getting pissed off at myself for not working things out right,there was just no flow was forcing things too much,looked like crap.
Maybe I have spent too much time away for it,I used to love drawing did it all the time every day,,all day
I just dont have the time,,,have my wargaming stuff,work,,,working on cleaning up the house,which living with a fucking slob turns into a never ending battle,trying to deal with my own bs in my head,,,,working out,,dealing with family shit from 500 miles away.
Maybe I just gave up on that like most of my dreams.....
Funny thing about dreams,they are nice and all but once you open your eyes and look around seems that they all disappear rather quickly,,,
Hope is the first step towards unhappiness
worked on the house today,trying to tire myself out,,,,ripped apart the bathroom,scrubbed the walls down,,,started on the shower and thought eh the hell with it and painted for awhile,
God Fucking Damnit I cant even get five fucking mintues to myself without that nosey bitch poking her head in here seeing what I am up too but yet again Im stuck depending on her,still no fucking car,now no fucking job,,,I swear gods up there laughing his ass off right now.
I swear sometimes she is seeing how far she can push me until I loose control,,,I think thats what she wants,truly,,,as twisted as that may sound,,,,
Fuck now my moods even worse,,,,,whach lookin at,whacha typing,,show me show me,,,,FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK