(no subject)
Last night, I felt very sad and totally alone in the world. But I think it is better to feel totally alone while I am by myself than to feel totally alone and be with someone who is supposed to make me feel that I am not. I think someone sort of (not quite) asked me out last week, and I felt bad for (sort of) turning her down. To even dabble in romance would be a HORRIBLE idea at the moment. Though I am reasonably happy and functional for a large part of each day, I am also a complete emotional wreck. When Tyne and I talk, I invariably cry. Sometimes I fantasize about being a child. I rewrite my past so it is more to my liking.