son of a beach ball!
Few things I'd like to mention:
-I was late for work today because I happened to get stuck in all the damn 20 mph school zones, all the slow people, the busses that dropped the stupid kids off, someone who's car decided to break down in the middle of the road AND the Cloverdale light that turned red in my face TWICE. So I called Tisher and yelled into her voicemail about the people I was tailgating on Chinden going 40 when the speed limit was 45. Then I realized that I've become one of those assholes that tailgates and/or yells at other drivers with a stupid cell phone to their ear...and that I became everything I hate about people on the road. So I had to hate myself on the way to work...which I was late to.
-One of my angsty William poems is getting published. And I wasn't sure whether to tell him or not, because his full legal name is in the poem, but it's written acrostically so someone would have to just be staring at the page for a while to notice it. So I was debating on whether or not to tell him about it, and I was going to get Ms. Bee to have him say what he thought of the poem I actually gave him and base my judgment off what he thought of that one. But she misunderstood me and told him about the poem I wrote that was being published. *facepalm* (("I couldn't think of a subtle way to bring it up so I just told him straight out.")) According to her, he thought it was "cool and flattering" (Bee, Ms.), which i would love to believe, but my pessemistic side is thinking he was just saying that to her to have a response. Although he has been substantially honest with her lately.
-I FINALLY got a response to the poem written and I'm showing it to Saratops to get her opinion on it before I send it in to get published. The last thing I really want is to send in some stupid rambly story and get it permanently printed in a book for the rest of eternity.
-The honesty I mentioned earlier offended me to the point of having honest-to-God heartburn and now my liking of him has been eradicated. But the friends thing still stands. For now.
-I do'nt know what my problem is. I complain all the time that I'm so damn busy for everything and I never have time to do all the things i have to. But I went to the library and checked out ANOTHER book.
-I need a topic for my research paper. I wanted to do chivalry ending through the women's rights movement...because that was extremely interesting, but I'm afraid I won't find any sources about it. It's mostly just common sense, which drives me insane.
-The guy I like now stopped e-mailing me. I'm sure its' just because he's busy. But if I decide to date him, I'm wondering if he'll ever give up any time to spend with me. ...And I'm thinking waaay ahead on that one.
-The guy who likes me calls me all the time and asks me out. But I told him I was sick, which is the God's honest truth, but I'd see him at work on Saturday. And I can't keep ignoring him forever. I have to bring myself to tell him I do'nt want a relationship with him, but I don't know exactly how to do this without being a biznatch. I just can't be myself around him. And it's always awkward for me to talk to him. Plus I want to try having a relationship with the other dude before I think about starting anything with him. I might change my mind later, but right now I just don't want anything to do with him.
-I found out the loss prevention guy can't even hang out with anybody from work because of favoritism. I found this out again when I casually asked if he had a thing for Erma, the girl I work with who has a crush on him. And Monica, my manager, told me if he did, she'd have to transfer stores because he can't date her because she might want to steal ((she never would)) and he'd have to arrest her. Or he could allow her to steal ((he never would)) and put a dent in the company that way. This doesn't really bother me, it just annoys me that he's always flirting with her and being ambiguously interested in her when he knows he can't date her.
-AND all day today whenever I saw him, I'd say hi and goof with him and he'd just kinda glance over to acknowledge me and go back to being all serious. He's like this when he's watching someone. And I"m okay with it if it happens once, but this was going on all day. I know he can't help it if there are shoplifters because it's his job to keep an eye on him, so I guess I'm just pissed at the shoplifters. Come on, shoplifters. I want to goof with Kyle.
-My nailpolish I got turned out to be one of those stupid clearish ones that require two or three coats to really show up. And now it's chipping. Grrz.
-I saw William's sissy ((his real sister)) and mommy at work today and I caught myself gaping at them when his sister looked up and saw me and kinda smiled at me. I would've said hi if I weren't heading off on my lunch break. And i wanted to get on AIM and tell him about it, but AIM decided to chose tonight to not work and not let me on at all.
-I have a cold. And my colds are known to last for a week. So I'll be having this cold til about the end of the weekend. Yey.
-Surprisingly I do NOT have the lowest grade in my math class. When I got the grade sheet, I found the lowest grade which was about 28 or 29% and saw it wasn't me and got extremely thrilled about it. But the thrill didn't last long because I saw that my grade in the class was a 43%. But I'm hauling booty on chapter 2 and my teacher assured me that I'd recover. Hah, I damn well better.
-I read Lorren's page of rants and I found the one about her roommate's boyfriend being an annoying moron to be especially relatable. I've had that happen to me so many times. More times than I'd wish to recall. Won't mention any names, but every time I'd be like "holy crap go AWAY." Haha.
-And I realized that I love this guy named Dallas Green. He has beautiful music. I guess I just have a thing for guitars.
-And snare drums.
-I seemed like a total bitch, but the guy I kinda like was drawing an eye for me and he put the lashes on the iris...and this annoyed me. It shouldn't have, but it did. It was a stupid miniscule thing to get annoyed about and I felt like such a jerk for getting irked by it. And for some reason it was a turn off. "Ew he can't draw an eye. I can never be with him now." I mean HONESTLY. How ridiculous and bitchy is that! I've turned into a complete wreck.
-I realized this a while ago, but a lot of things that are happening in my life have happened because of William. He caused this freakish chain of events that led to everything. And today at work I stopped and realized that everything I was wearing - my shirt, pants, shoes and watch - was bought at Fred Meyer, which is where I was at the moment, working. And it hit me so hard that he had brought me to that moment, unloading boxes of freight in clothes I'd bought at a store where'd gotten me a job using money I'd earned from the job. And it blew my mind to sludgy pieces. It kinda freaks me out whenever I think about something he helped me get. I made a mental list which included my car, my cell phone, my friends, the dude I like, the dude who likes me, most of the clothes I wear, my watch and it was just amazing me so much that I had to stop.
-Blargy.
-I'm so tired. I don't know why I do this to myself. I complain so much that I don't get enough sleep and here I am purposely staying up til 2:30 every night doing nothing. It's horrendous. I"m a living paradox.
Just a handful of stuff I've been dealing with recently. More to come.
forks
-I was late for work today because I happened to get stuck in all the damn 20 mph school zones, all the slow people, the busses that dropped the stupid kids off, someone who's car decided to break down in the middle of the road AND the Cloverdale light that turned red in my face TWICE. So I called Tisher and yelled into her voicemail about the people I was tailgating on Chinden going 40 when the speed limit was 45. Then I realized that I've become one of those assholes that tailgates and/or yells at other drivers with a stupid cell phone to their ear...and that I became everything I hate about people on the road. So I had to hate myself on the way to work...which I was late to.
-One of my angsty William poems is getting published. And I wasn't sure whether to tell him or not, because his full legal name is in the poem, but it's written acrostically so someone would have to just be staring at the page for a while to notice it. So I was debating on whether or not to tell him about it, and I was going to get Ms. Bee to have him say what he thought of the poem I actually gave him and base my judgment off what he thought of that one. But she misunderstood me and told him about the poem I wrote that was being published. *facepalm* (("I couldn't think of a subtle way to bring it up so I just told him straight out.")) According to her, he thought it was "cool and flattering" (Bee, Ms.), which i would love to believe, but my pessemistic side is thinking he was just saying that to her to have a response. Although he has been substantially honest with her lately.
-I FINALLY got a response to the poem written and I'm showing it to Saratops to get her opinion on it before I send it in to get published. The last thing I really want is to send in some stupid rambly story and get it permanently printed in a book for the rest of eternity.
-The honesty I mentioned earlier offended me to the point of having honest-to-God heartburn and now my liking of him has been eradicated. But the friends thing still stands. For now.
-I do'nt know what my problem is. I complain all the time that I'm so damn busy for everything and I never have time to do all the things i have to. But I went to the library and checked out ANOTHER book.
-I need a topic for my research paper. I wanted to do chivalry ending through the women's rights movement...because that was extremely interesting, but I'm afraid I won't find any sources about it. It's mostly just common sense, which drives me insane.
-The guy I like now stopped e-mailing me. I'm sure its' just because he's busy. But if I decide to date him, I'm wondering if he'll ever give up any time to spend with me. ...And I'm thinking waaay ahead on that one.
-The guy who likes me calls me all the time and asks me out. But I told him I was sick, which is the God's honest truth, but I'd see him at work on Saturday. And I can't keep ignoring him forever. I have to bring myself to tell him I do'nt want a relationship with him, but I don't know exactly how to do this without being a biznatch. I just can't be myself around him. And it's always awkward for me to talk to him. Plus I want to try having a relationship with the other dude before I think about starting anything with him. I might change my mind later, but right now I just don't want anything to do with him.
-I found out the loss prevention guy can't even hang out with anybody from work because of favoritism. I found this out again when I casually asked if he had a thing for Erma, the girl I work with who has a crush on him. And Monica, my manager, told me if he did, she'd have to transfer stores because he can't date her because she might want to steal ((she never would)) and he'd have to arrest her. Or he could allow her to steal ((he never would)) and put a dent in the company that way. This doesn't really bother me, it just annoys me that he's always flirting with her and being ambiguously interested in her when he knows he can't date her.
-AND all day today whenever I saw him, I'd say hi and goof with him and he'd just kinda glance over to acknowledge me and go back to being all serious. He's like this when he's watching someone. And I"m okay with it if it happens once, but this was going on all day. I know he can't help it if there are shoplifters because it's his job to keep an eye on him, so I guess I'm just pissed at the shoplifters. Come on, shoplifters. I want to goof with Kyle.
-My nailpolish I got turned out to be one of those stupid clearish ones that require two or three coats to really show up. And now it's chipping. Grrz.
-I saw William's sissy ((his real sister)) and mommy at work today and I caught myself gaping at them when his sister looked up and saw me and kinda smiled at me. I would've said hi if I weren't heading off on my lunch break. And i wanted to get on AIM and tell him about it, but AIM decided to chose tonight to not work and not let me on at all.
-I have a cold. And my colds are known to last for a week. So I'll be having this cold til about the end of the weekend. Yey.
-Surprisingly I do NOT have the lowest grade in my math class. When I got the grade sheet, I found the lowest grade which was about 28 or 29% and saw it wasn't me and got extremely thrilled about it. But the thrill didn't last long because I saw that my grade in the class was a 43%. But I'm hauling booty on chapter 2 and my teacher assured me that I'd recover. Hah, I damn well better.
-I read Lorren's page of rants and I found the one about her roommate's boyfriend being an annoying moron to be especially relatable. I've had that happen to me so many times. More times than I'd wish to recall. Won't mention any names, but every time I'd be like "holy crap go AWAY." Haha.
-And I realized that I love this guy named Dallas Green. He has beautiful music. I guess I just have a thing for guitars.
-And snare drums.
-I seemed like a total bitch, but the guy I kinda like was drawing an eye for me and he put the lashes on the iris...and this annoyed me. It shouldn't have, but it did. It was a stupid miniscule thing to get annoyed about and I felt like such a jerk for getting irked by it. And for some reason it was a turn off. "Ew he can't draw an eye. I can never be with him now." I mean HONESTLY. How ridiculous and bitchy is that! I've turned into a complete wreck.
-I realized this a while ago, but a lot of things that are happening in my life have happened because of William. He caused this freakish chain of events that led to everything. And today at work I stopped and realized that everything I was wearing - my shirt, pants, shoes and watch - was bought at Fred Meyer, which is where I was at the moment, working. And it hit me so hard that he had brought me to that moment, unloading boxes of freight in clothes I'd bought at a store where'd gotten me a job using money I'd earned from the job. And it blew my mind to sludgy pieces. It kinda freaks me out whenever I think about something he helped me get. I made a mental list which included my car, my cell phone, my friends, the dude I like, the dude who likes me, most of the clothes I wear, my watch and it was just amazing me so much that I had to stop.
-Blargy.
-I'm so tired. I don't know why I do this to myself. I complain so much that I don't get enough sleep and here I am purposely staying up til 2:30 every night doing nothing. It's horrendous. I"m a living paradox.
Just a handful of stuff I've been dealing with recently. More to come.
forks