the origin of "Forkie"
Dangit. I liked being enigmatic. But I'm telling the tale.
In two versions: The short version and the long version.
Here's the short version:
I don't know.
And here's the long version:
Once upon a FRICKIN' time... there was a little group of freshmen girls who frolicked the hallways of school together and wreaked havoc upon their little universe. There was one problem, however, in this seemingly perfect group of little fifteen year-olds. One of them didn't have a nickname. Awwww...
The end.
...
Gah, fine.
One day the little girl named Frotu asked a casual question concerning her absolute favorite movie in the history of existence, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. The exact question in verbatum has been lost in the trenched abysses of forgotten memories, buried under more important memories, thoughts and cheery undergrowth. But the answer to that forgotten question, my friends, is the reason why we're all here.
The nicknameless one responded, "It was that part with Theoden and his little wench...what's his name... Forky?"
To which everyone else responded:
"FORKY?! AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" etc.
When the loud, earth-shattering laughter subsided, another round started up.
This continued for quite some time.
Finally when everyone was all laughed out, their lungs empty and their stomachs aching, they sat in a calm silence. Then they suddenly remembered how funny it was and resumed laughing once more.
Several hours later, the one called Frotu quipped, "That should be your nickname. Forky."
And so months passed and the one called "Forky" was now Forky to her friends and fanfiction groupies.
But suddenly something very strange occured. Something disasterous and unsettling in the hearts and souls of millions of people. Something so horrible that it left many scarred and singed in utter terror.
...But fortunately it had nothing to do with this story.
So one day whilst sitting in her algebra II class playing stupid games on her calculator instead of learning her quadratic equations, the one called Forky came to a decision that her name would look more feminine if the Y were changed to an IE.
Thus she became Forkie.
But because everybody else was used to calling her Forky, she remained Forky for another substantially long period of time.
But as we all know, unless you've skipped this entire story to this paragraph, Forkie prevailed and she has remained Forkie ever since. And now whenever a poor, confused and dumbfounded soul inquires of her name, she can now say "just go to http://gollumrox.livejournal.com". To which the inquierer will most likely say "...No, just tell me." To which Forkie will probably respond "...Fine." and will be forced to tell the short version of her tale.
And what of the original Forky you ask? Well, my friends, that is for another livejournal entry. For now, relish in the fact that you have now beheld the mystery behind Forkie's moniker and can now move on with your lives and not waste any more of your time pondering useless garbage like "Forkie."
Fair thee well and I love you.
...So now you know why I tell the short version a lot.