A;DNG;SADLGNDSA;GKNASD;GN
Being so close to graduation puts everything into perspective. I've increasingly found I can only form a coherent explanation of my emotional reactions when those trials are past, and that's rather true of the last four years. (Though they're not fully past yet. I have a feeling I'll think of a lot more to say on the subject after I graduate.)
Basically, I feel like I'm starting to wake up from a four-year-long nightmare...
Only to realize the nightmare was real.
But of course this is my own fault just like everything else, and I should hate myself for it just like I do for everything else, and certainly never find any fault in the actual system that made me feel this way. In summary, my emotions can't possibly be valid, no matter what the cause.
Also, dear Vic keeners: if you want to know the truth about U of T, SPEAK TO ANYONE ELSE AT THIS SCHOOL OUTSIDE OF YOUR HAPPY LITTLE BUBBLE. THEY. ALL. HATE. IT. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF THEM.
Either that, or go look at a small liberal arts college in the US. No offense Canada, but you only think U of T is great because you have nothing to compare it to.
/slight overreaction to four years of an environment that actively fosters undeserved levels of self-castigation
EDIT: Also I just thought of a decent argument to the whole it clearly being my own fault thing. Take a student who engaged herself as much as possible in every course in high school, even in subjects she disliked. Take someone who did every reading, who worked for hours and hours every day, who finished in the top percentile of a class of 600. Someone who was never the type to answer/ask questions in class, but who still had good relationships with her teachers and an overall good experience with her academic life, despite going through some tough times otherwise. Put her in university, and watch how she rapidly loses all interest in making any sort of attempt to connect with the material or the professors. Watch how she rapidly ceases to care not only about her academic life, but about anything. Watch how she no longer even thinks it's worth it to ask a professor a vital question, or to argue when an assignment is marked incorrectly. Doesn't this sudden and complete reversal in academic behavior imply there is likely something wrong with your institution, and not her? Assuming she didn't suffer a case of clinical depression at the very moment of switching to university, which she didn't -- because while she was pretty depressed, she was in high school too. And in fact that improved over the course of university.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Basically, I feel like I'm starting to wake up from a four-year-long nightmare...
Only to realize the nightmare was real.
But of course this is my own fault just like everything else, and I should hate myself for it just like I do for everything else, and certainly never find any fault in the actual system that made me feel this way. In summary, my emotions can't possibly be valid, no matter what the cause.
Also, dear Vic keeners: if you want to know the truth about U of T, SPEAK TO ANYONE ELSE AT THIS SCHOOL OUTSIDE OF YOUR HAPPY LITTLE BUBBLE. THEY. ALL. HATE. IT. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF THEM.
Either that, or go look at a small liberal arts college in the US. No offense Canada, but you only think U of T is great because you have nothing to compare it to.
/slight overreaction to four years of an environment that actively fosters undeserved levels of self-castigation
EDIT: Also I just thought of a decent argument to the whole it clearly being my own fault thing. Take a student who engaged herself as much as possible in every course in high school, even in subjects she disliked. Take someone who did every reading, who worked for hours and hours every day, who finished in the top percentile of a class of 600. Someone who was never the type to answer/ask questions in class, but who still had good relationships with her teachers and an overall good experience with her academic life, despite going through some tough times otherwise. Put her in university, and watch how she rapidly loses all interest in making any sort of attempt to connect with the material or the professors. Watch how she rapidly ceases to care not only about her academic life, but about anything. Watch how she no longer even thinks it's worth it to ask a professor a vital question, or to argue when an assignment is marked incorrectly. Doesn't this sudden and complete reversal in academic behavior imply there is likely something wrong with your institution, and not her? Assuming she didn't suffer a case of clinical depression at the very moment of switching to university, which she didn't -- because while she was pretty depressed, she was in high school too. And in fact that improved over the course of university.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.