I am really...
I was sick all day, which was actually relaxing. i missed billy though. but he came and visited me with chicken noodle soup, which was, as always, the most adorable thing ever. hes so good to me, its insane. but enough about billy, yeah like theres EVER too much billy.
i've just been really stressed feeling lately, with my class on saturdays, i dont do my homework for that till like thursday nights. its not that its bad, just i need to done before 10 o'clock. Work everyday after school is more tiring than i thought it would be, those kids are CRAZY! and i love it and all, i miss my afternoon naps though. and its sad that its Everday.... because then i get home at six to eat and shower... which i normally don't do till night time ish... but i'd like the opportunity to do it at 4.
I just miss being carefree with the summer days, they are so far but i want them sooo bad. except this summer is going to be different, i'm going to be a senior next year. WEIRD! i never thought of my self as growing up, each past year is like eh oh well whatever, glad im not a senior thats leaving.... but its almost my turn and that scares me.
i really think i made myself sick with all the worry and school stuff and i feel really bad because i haven't been there lately for anyone but myself, which is so completely selfish. i feel like such a bad person because i'm doing things for Me, because its what I wanted to do, but not caring how it affected people around me. like billy, now he's bored for 4 hours a day, my fault. allie was totally counting on me, but i got sick and i had to cancel, my fault. heather wanted to lunch, i (for myself) stayed home because i couldn't breathe... my fault. i feel really bad. and i am sad. i like my job but i like my life more.... and i like getting good grades in school but i dont like worrying. and i over analyze everything and it drives me nuts.
i am such a silly.
disneyland is the one place i am truly happy, that or washington state. or here during breaks... hah but disneyland is most definitly first. i'm gonna go read for history now, JEOPARDY tomorrow and i need the extra credit. then i need to do all my english homework so i can play on friday with jeremy and billy.I am excited for this weekend because it'll be the first time i've gone out in a LONG while. i miss people....
-michaela-
i've just been really stressed feeling lately, with my class on saturdays, i dont do my homework for that till like thursday nights. its not that its bad, just i need to done before 10 o'clock. Work everyday after school is more tiring than i thought it would be, those kids are CRAZY! and i love it and all, i miss my afternoon naps though. and its sad that its Everday.... because then i get home at six to eat and shower... which i normally don't do till night time ish... but i'd like the opportunity to do it at 4.
I just miss being carefree with the summer days, they are so far but i want them sooo bad. except this summer is going to be different, i'm going to be a senior next year. WEIRD! i never thought of my self as growing up, each past year is like eh oh well whatever, glad im not a senior thats leaving.... but its almost my turn and that scares me.
i really think i made myself sick with all the worry and school stuff and i feel really bad because i haven't been there lately for anyone but myself, which is so completely selfish. i feel like such a bad person because i'm doing things for Me, because its what I wanted to do, but not caring how it affected people around me. like billy, now he's bored for 4 hours a day, my fault. allie was totally counting on me, but i got sick and i had to cancel, my fault. heather wanted to lunch, i (for myself) stayed home because i couldn't breathe... my fault. i feel really bad. and i am sad. i like my job but i like my life more.... and i like getting good grades in school but i dont like worrying. and i over analyze everything and it drives me nuts.
i am such a silly.
disneyland is the one place i am truly happy, that or washington state. or here during breaks... hah but disneyland is most definitly first. i'm gonna go read for history now, JEOPARDY tomorrow and i need the extra credit. then i need to do all my english homework so i can play on friday with jeremy and billy.I am excited for this weekend because it'll be the first time i've gone out in a LONG while. i miss people....
-michaela-