rescue me
So my therapist is always asking me if I have a "rescue fantasy". I always kind of brush the question off because I really don't want to go there-but I'm guessing that means that I do.
However, I now know FOR SURE that I do. I get so caught up in the "supposed to's" of life that I can't do what I know is whats right for me. I need someone to step in and be like "no!". I know that someday I need to be able to do it for myself but when I can't or when I don't, shouldn't someone help me, force me? Or do people really only care when you're physically wasting away to nothing? Cause so far, thats been the only time someone has stepped in.
Is everyone really that content "letting me learn from my mistakes"? Apparently I'm not as good at hiding my pain as I thought...but if thats the case, why wasn't there any talk over the summer as to whether or not it was the best move for me to come back? I put up a shell...but its not that tough. If they had wanted to talk about it, they would have had to push. But not hard. I would have broken.
Maybe the therapist is wrong. Maybe they don't really care what exactly is going to make me happy, they want me to fit in the box. They say they only want me to be happy, but could they actually mean that they just want me to be happy...doing what a typical 20 year old is supposed to do?
Where is my white night on a white horse? My dorm isn't that hard to find. Please come get me.
However, I now know FOR SURE that I do. I get so caught up in the "supposed to's" of life that I can't do what I know is whats right for me. I need someone to step in and be like "no!". I know that someday I need to be able to do it for myself but when I can't or when I don't, shouldn't someone help me, force me? Or do people really only care when you're physically wasting away to nothing? Cause so far, thats been the only time someone has stepped in.
Is everyone really that content "letting me learn from my mistakes"? Apparently I'm not as good at hiding my pain as I thought...but if thats the case, why wasn't there any talk over the summer as to whether or not it was the best move for me to come back? I put up a shell...but its not that tough. If they had wanted to talk about it, they would have had to push. But not hard. I would have broken.
Maybe the therapist is wrong. Maybe they don't really care what exactly is going to make me happy, they want me to fit in the box. They say they only want me to be happy, but could they actually mean that they just want me to be happy...doing what a typical 20 year old is supposed to do?
Where is my white night on a white horse? My dorm isn't that hard to find. Please come get me.