(no subject)
I feel like I'm going to explode.
Not for any particular reason.
Just, you know, the usual. Spontaneous combustion.
I feel frustrated at absolutely nothing and I think it's making me crazy. Little things make my head spin and I feel like smacking people who don't (necessarily) deserve it. I can't make myself pay attention and I'm having trouble focusing on simple short conversations and I forget what I'm trying to say midsentence.
One of these days I'm going to burn out and there will be nothing left.
I watch too much TV but I'm reading what could possibly be one of the craziest books ever. The Wooden Sea, by Jonathan Carroll, is a total trip of surrealistic fantasy. 100 pages in, and I still have no clue what's going on and it's completely wonderful.
On Saturday Pearl and I watched Bend it Like Beckham (probably my like, 7th viewing) and we had too much fun. Most of our laughter came in anticipation of hilarity, and we discovered that Joe is sort of an obnoxious character until the end when he does cuter things. But I think his looks (!!!) make up for all the cocky swagger he possesses. Pearl, on the other hand, thinks it would be endearing if he were ugly. Which could be true.
And all silliness aside, I dearly love that movie. Jules's mom is incredibly good and Jess's mom is pretty darn funny herself.
And then we listened to her Japanese music and discovered that she has a million pictures of pretty people and I think something must be done.
BY THE WAY IT'S HER BIRTHDAY TODAY.
EVERYONE GO WISH THE AMAZINGWONDERFULSTUPENDOUS PEARL A HAPPY SEVENTEENTH: lactosfreefille .
Can someone save me from people? I can't handle this anymore; all the social anxieties I've ever had are welling up and spilling out and I sputter awkwardly, no words to say, except to a few and I can't do this anymore. I smile wanly and make small talk with the people I would dearly love to know but it's always shallow, so shallow, I don't know what to do.
Sorry for this post. It was haphazard, I know, but my fingers typed what my mind thought.