Jack is still staring at him across the breakfast bar, even now that Josh has left, and Alex - Alex just stares back for a minute, frozen in the moment. His ears feel like they're burning with the things Josh was just saying to him and there's a knot sitting heavy in his gut like there was a lump in his throat and he swallowed it. He can't seem to catch up with his own thoughts. He's dizzy with mental images of Josh with Jack, his hands and his mouth on Jack, of Alex's own hands and mouth in those same places, of Josh's hands and Alex's hands and this picture Josh has painted for him that makes him feel guilty and intrigued at the same time, simultaneously overcome with want and doubly convinced that he's a complete idiot who only wants things he doesn't deserve.
Jack smiles at him. Alex goes to smile back and realizes belately that he was already doing that, has been smiling this whole time. Jack is smiling at him in that way he does like Alex is the only person in the world worth looking at. Alex has never figured out how he does that. The ruckus outside has moved away from the patio; the kitchen is suffocatingly quiet and it strikes Alex likes lightning that right now, just for this second, he doesn't have to share Jack with anybody.
They're halfway to the front door, Jack's fingers tangled in Alex's as Alex pulls him along, before Alex even registers that he's moved. That's when he catches up with himself. He's holding Jack's hand, leading him outside with every intention of kissing the life out of him. His hands are sweaty. His heart is fucking racing. And Jack is just standing there in the open doorway, looking out at the dark sky with the thick night air creeping into them, curling around Alex's fingers and throat.
Alex pauses a moment. Takes a breath. Pushes up on his tip-toes to see over Jack's shoulder, to touch his chin to the top seam of Jack's t-shirt, to look out at the absolute emptiness of this suburban street at night while all the teenage debauchery rages on behind the Mitchells' solid oak door.
He can only look at nothing for so long, though. Jack is right fucking there and they're all alone, and.
"C'mon, out," says Alex, guiding Jack outside with hands firm on his sides.
"Where are we going?" Jack asks, but he moves easily under Alex's touch.
"I need some air," Alex says. "Don't you?" But he doesn't actually give Jack the chance to answer, doesn't care about the answer anyway; even as Jack's opening his mouth to respond Alex is pushing him up against the side of the house and kissing him.
It's not like he was lying: kissing Jack is like breathing easy, finally, after all the drama and mind-games and tension that tonight has been strung together with. It's like exhaling after holding his breath for an hour. Jack's mouth opens so easily when Alex licks into it and this - this is the easy part, it's just getting here that's always the hard part. Alex doesn't know when this became his comfort zone but he thinks maybe Jack understands: he's sliding his hands up Alex's chest, tracing his thumbs over Alex's collarbones, and Alex shivers despite the heat. He feels so much better now, like this. If he needs to prove something - and he does, he knows he does. Joshua King is not a subtle person. If he needs to prove something, he can fucking prove it. Jack is cupping his jaw, angling Alex's head to deepen the kiss, and Alex can't help but nip at his lower lip and make Jack chase him, meeting his advances with little licks and bites until Jack says "hey", slightly disgruntled, and Alex laughs against Jack's mouth, gives a little and lets Jack spin them around so Alex's back hits the wall.
Alex leans his head against the brick and looks up at Jack, who is looking back at Alex with bright eyes and contemplation drawn across his face. Alex watches him and waits, has a sneaking suspicion that Jack is doing that exact same thing. But then something in Jack's expression shifts; he leans in and doesn't kiss Alex, but wraps his arms around him and presses his face into Alex's neck. Alex hugs him back immediately, instinctively. He tangles one hand in Jack's hair and clutches him close with the other, as if he could hold him tightly enough that all of the thoughts and confessions and apologies that Alex has ever dry-swallowed instead saying aloud could be pressed right into Jack's body.
Jack absolutely terrifies him sometimes. But it's the good kind of terrified, like skydiving or standing on a stage in front of a hundred people, and Alex decided a long time ago that he'd rather be terrified than sad. Jack exhales, sudden damp warmth on Alex's neck, and it makes Alex smile. Then he very unsubtly pushes his his forward into Jack's, because overcome with emotion or not they're still alone out here and Alex has a game plan, kind of.
Jack huffs, something between amusement and exasperation, and says, "Oh, now you wanna make out?"
"I always wanna make out." Alex is grinning at him. The hand he's tangled in Jack's hair in now resting on the back of his neck, totally prepared to pull him back down again. "So do you, remember?"
Jack blinks at him, then grins, and Alex pulls him in for more.
Bro I just have so many feelings about this scene with Jack and Alex. And you expand upon them PERFECTLY. I love that making out with Jack is like finding inner peace for Alex. Some people use yoga, but nope, Alex is just fine with grounding his centre of gravity in Jack's mouth.
JOSHUA KING. I need people to refer to him as this all the time. JOSH-UA *KING*. So much aptness in that surname.
I want to spend at least a month of my life in this part where Alex is thinking about Josh and proving things.
And then I want to spend a YEAR in the part where Alex "clutches him close ... as if he could hold him tightly enough that all of the thoughts and confessions and apologies that Alex has ever dry-swallowed instead of saying aloud could be pressed right into Jack's body". I love that they both ... think about wanting to be able to say things to one another without having to actually say them, because they can't yet or whatever. It's romantical as balls.
TO CONCLUDE: THEY ARE MY FAVORITE, YOU ARE MY FAVORITE, EVERYTHING IS PREP ALEX AND NOTHING HURTS. Except my ovaries. Fucking ovaries. FUCKING PHILLIES. You and AWG are to blame, don't think I don't KNOW.
For real though, I can't believe this exists! I can't believe you DID THIS. You are the greatest. You are my literary hero and a real life champion.
Jack is still staring at him across the breakfast bar, even now that Josh has left,.
Oh no it's totally cool, bro, just open with a line like that, it's fine, I didn't need to breathe or anything. FUCK. Alex is ... the most unassuming, self depreciating little fool. How can both he and Jack be so fucking clueless? Sometimes I'm truly amazed that they ever manage to get their shit together, even long enough for super stealth makeouts.
Ugh, poor baby being all overcome by thoughts of Jack and Josh! Baaaaaaaby! Like in my head I knew Alex would be ... more than a little thrown off by this knowledge, but I never actually let myself sit and just think about how he'd think about it, because I have a life to live and can't sacrifice years to Alex's Neurosis, and GOD. I really like the thread of ownership that we both kind of lay underneath everything else. Well I only did so in this threesome because I love it so much when you do it in Prep Alex, like the knee thing and stuff, those little things that you've sometimes gotta read a couple times to actually pick up on the significance of .... they're beautiful little earthquake moments and having this, getting to read about Alex for once being pushed to confront the imagery and consciously think about it ..... my brain is the happiest place on earth right now, sorry Flyzik.
I love love love that Alex is this fruit salad of emotion, thinking about Jack and Josh and him and Jack while Jack is just standing there kind of bamboozled by everything but mostly just captivated as always by Alex.
...convinced that he's a complete idiot who only wants things he doesn't deserve.
:(((((((((((( The only good thing that comes of Alex thinking he's such a shitty person is that .... he appreciates it so much more when people (Jack) treat him like he's golden. And he's surprised and delighted by it, once he gets past his confusion, whereas Josh is only surprised and confused when people DON'T treat him like he's the best human being. For sure one of the reasons I'm SO invested in Alex's lasting happiness is that he will never see it coming, and he will cherish it and work to keep everyone else he loves just as happy as he is.
it strikes Alex like lightning that right now, just for this second, he doesn't have to share Jack with anybody.
BEAUTIFUL USE OF IMAGERY. I'm golf clapping for it! I also really really adore Alex being kind of selfish here for the first time with Jack, and being like 'I am going to take this opportunity as it's arisen and just HAVE this thing that I want'. I love it when he gets pro-active about his urges. But it's also infinitely ache-y that he thinks he EVER has to share Jack, that he doesn't realize yet that no matter how many people are around or where they are or what they're doing, Jack is basically always his, in some sense.
Alex not even realizing that he's dragging Jack outside! \o/ His nervousness here .... I actually didn't stop to think, at this part, about the fact that Alex knew all this time where they were going and why. Maybe because it breaks my head open so the joy can leak out all over the place. His heart is racing! Mine is PANGING for him so hard, fuck.
looking out at the dark sky with the thick night air creeping into them, curling around Alex's fingers and throat.
BEAUTIFUL IMAGERY AGAIN. I feel like you're getting a little more flow-y here than you are a lot of the time with Prep Alex, because he's usually too busy angsting to pull his head out of his sad and be eloquent, but this is delightful, you are a true master of the english language.
Jack smiles at him. Alex goes to smile back and realizes belately that he was already doing that, has been smiling this whole time. Jack is smiling at him in that way he does like Alex is the only person in the world worth looking at. Alex has never figured out how he does that. The ruckus outside has moved away from the patio; the kitchen is suffocatingly quiet and it strikes Alex likes lightning that right now, just for this second, he doesn't have to share Jack with anybody.
They're halfway to the front door, Jack's fingers tangled in Alex's as Alex pulls him along, before Alex even registers that he's moved. That's when he catches up with himself. He's holding Jack's hand, leading him outside with every intention of kissing the life out of him. His hands are sweaty. His heart is fucking racing. And Jack is just standing there in the open doorway, looking out at the dark sky with the thick night air creeping into them, curling around Alex's fingers and throat.
Alex pauses a moment. Takes a breath. Pushes up on his tip-toes to see over Jack's shoulder, to touch his chin to the top seam of Jack's t-shirt, to look out at the absolute emptiness of this suburban street at night while all the teenage debauchery rages on behind the Mitchells' solid oak door.
He can only look at nothing for so long, though. Jack is right fucking there and they're all alone, and.
"C'mon, out," says Alex, guiding Jack outside with hands firm on his sides.
"Where are we going?" Jack asks, but he moves easily under Alex's touch.
"I need some air," Alex says. "Don't you?" But he doesn't actually give Jack the chance to answer, doesn't care about the answer anyway; even as Jack's opening his mouth to respond Alex is pushing him up against the side of the house and kissing him.
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Alex leans his head against the brick and looks up at Jack, who is looking back at Alex with bright eyes and contemplation drawn across his face. Alex watches him and waits, has a sneaking suspicion that Jack is doing that exact same thing. But then something in Jack's expression shifts; he leans in and doesn't kiss Alex, but wraps his arms around him and presses his face into Alex's neck. Alex hugs him back immediately, instinctively. He tangles one hand in Jack's hair and clutches him close with the other, as if he could hold him tightly enough that all of the thoughts and confessions and apologies that Alex has ever dry-swallowed instead saying aloud could be pressed right into Jack's body.
Jack absolutely terrifies him sometimes. But it's the good kind of terrified, like skydiving or standing on a stage in front of a hundred people, and Alex decided a long time ago that he'd rather be terrified than sad. Jack exhales, sudden damp warmth on Alex's neck, and it makes Alex smile. Then he very unsubtly pushes his his forward into Jack's, because overcome with emotion or not they're still alone out here and Alex has a game plan, kind of.
Jack huffs, something between amusement and exasperation, and says, "Oh, now you wanna make out?"
"I always wanna make out." Alex is grinning at him. The hand he's tangled in Jack's hair in now resting on the back of his neck, totally prepared to pull him back down again. "So do you, remember?"
Jack blinks at him, then grins, and Alex pulls him in for more.
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JOSHUA KING. I need people to refer to him as this all the time. JOSH-UA *KING*. So much aptness in that surname.
I want to spend at least a month of my life in this part where Alex is thinking about Josh and proving things.
And then I want to spend a YEAR in the part where Alex "clutches him close ... as if he could hold him tightly enough that all of the thoughts and confessions and apologies that Alex has ever dry-swallowed instead of saying aloud could be pressed right into Jack's body". I love that they both ... think about wanting to be able to say things to one another without having to actually say them, because they can't yet or whatever. It's romantical as balls.
TO CONCLUDE: THEY ARE MY FAVORITE, YOU ARE MY FAVORITE, EVERYTHING IS PREP ALEX AND NOTHING HURTS. Except my ovaries. Fucking ovaries. FUCKING PHILLIES. You and AWG are to blame, don't think I don't KNOW.
For real though, I can't believe this exists! I can't believe you DID THIS. You are the greatest. You are my literary hero and a real life champion.
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Oh no it's totally cool, bro, just open with a line like that, it's fine, I didn't need to breathe or anything. FUCK. Alex is ... the most unassuming, self depreciating little fool. How can both he and Jack be so fucking clueless? Sometimes I'm truly amazed that they ever manage to get their shit together, even long enough for super stealth makeouts.
Ugh, poor baby being all overcome by thoughts of Jack and Josh! Baaaaaaaby! Like in my head I knew Alex would be ... more than a little thrown off by this knowledge, but I never actually let myself sit and just think about how he'd think about it, because I have a life to live and can't sacrifice years to Alex's Neurosis, and GOD. I really like the thread of ownership that we both kind of lay underneath everything else. Well I only did so in this threesome because I love it so much when you do it in Prep Alex, like the knee thing and stuff, those little things that you've sometimes gotta read a couple times to actually pick up on the significance of .... they're beautiful little earthquake moments and having this, getting to read about Alex for once being pushed to confront the imagery and consciously think about it ..... my brain is the happiest place on earth right now, sorry Flyzik.
I love love love that Alex is this fruit salad of emotion, thinking about Jack and Josh and him and Jack while Jack is just standing there kind of bamboozled by everything but mostly just captivated as always by Alex.
...convinced that he's a complete idiot who only wants things he doesn't deserve.
:(((((((((((( The only good thing that comes of Alex thinking he's such a shitty person is that .... he appreciates it so much more when people (Jack) treat him like he's golden. And he's surprised and delighted by it, once he gets past his confusion, whereas Josh is only surprised and confused when people DON'T treat him like he's the best human being. For sure one of the reasons I'm SO invested in Alex's lasting happiness is that he will never see it coming, and he will cherish it and work to keep everyone else he loves just as happy as he is.
it strikes Alex like lightning that right now, just for this second, he doesn't have to share Jack with anybody.
BEAUTIFUL USE OF IMAGERY. I'm golf clapping for it! I also really really adore Alex being kind of selfish here for the first time with Jack, and being like 'I am going to take this opportunity as it's arisen and just HAVE this thing that I want'. I love it when he gets pro-active about his urges. But it's also infinitely ache-y that he thinks he EVER has to share Jack, that he doesn't realize yet that no matter how many people are around or where they are or what they're doing, Jack is basically always his, in some sense.
Alex not even realizing that he's dragging Jack outside! \o/ His nervousness here .... I actually didn't stop to think, at this part, about the fact that Alex knew all this time where they were going and why. Maybe because it breaks my head open so the joy can leak out all over the place. His heart is racing! Mine is PANGING for him so hard, fuck.
looking out at the dark sky with the thick night air creeping into them, curling around Alex's fingers and throat.
BEAUTIFUL IMAGERY AGAIN. I feel like you're getting a little more flow-y here than you are a lot of the time with Prep Alex, because he's usually too busy angsting to pull his head out of his sad and be eloquent, but this is delightful, you are a true master of the english language.
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