Things I -have to have- in a romantic partner:
First, I should remark on how crazy long it has been since I posted last on LJ.
Mostly I've kept the world informed of my existence through -Facebook- But, I find that posting NOTES to Facebook is less therapeutic, not as cathartic, and more annoying than writing here. This feels more 'journal-like' I guess that's why it is called Livejournal. Duh, Carrie!
Anyway:
I've been trying to figure out what I need to feel fulfilled in a romantic relationship.
I know a lot of guys. I've had a lot of boyfriends. Every man I've been with and every relationship we've shared has been unique & good in it's own way.
The problem I have found is narrowing down "the field of suitors" so to speak, and deciding to focus on "just one". Why is this necessary? To be only with one person? I guess it's just the way I am wired. I am not 'cut out' to be alone, or by myself. I don't like it. It doesn't suit me.
My mom told me the other day "you'll find as you get older that maybe you don't want to have to deal with someone on a daily basis. That you're fine enough as is and free to do whatever you want to do when you don't have a man in your life."
My "Spock-brain" tells me this is logical. I do not -need- someone to tell me that I am great, or smart, or strong, or good, or wise, or pretty, or interesting, etc...
I already know these things about myself. But, my "Kirk-brain" tells me that I need to hear things and be around other people.
It's like Chris Rock says: There are only three things women need in life: Food Water and Compliments. To that, I would add: someone who will spend TIME, MONEY, ENERGY on HELPING HER with whatever bullshit comes her way.
Being a good partner means--YOU DO NOT: belittle her for having a problem, ignore a problem altogether, and/or resent her for having a problem to begin with.
If you want me as a girlfriend/wife and you want all the good things that come with having me as a girlfriend/wife like guaranteed sex and interesting companionship, you have to COMMIT YOURSELF to putting -MY- NEEDS and WANTS -FIRST- or *at least* AS EQUAL TO YOUR OWN.
Not your friends, not your family, not your job. I COME FIRST. If you can't accept those terms, you're better off staying single and should have to pay money or masturbate for sexual release.
Mostly I've kept the world informed of my existence through -Facebook- But, I find that posting NOTES to Facebook is less therapeutic, not as cathartic, and more annoying than writing here. This feels more 'journal-like' I guess that's why it is called Livejournal. Duh, Carrie!
Anyway:
I've been trying to figure out what I need to feel fulfilled in a romantic relationship.
I know a lot of guys. I've had a lot of boyfriends. Every man I've been with and every relationship we've shared has been unique & good in it's own way.
The problem I have found is narrowing down "the field of suitors" so to speak, and deciding to focus on "just one". Why is this necessary? To be only with one person? I guess it's just the way I am wired. I am not 'cut out' to be alone, or by myself. I don't like it. It doesn't suit me.
My mom told me the other day "you'll find as you get older that maybe you don't want to have to deal with someone on a daily basis. That you're fine enough as is and free to do whatever you want to do when you don't have a man in your life."
My "Spock-brain" tells me this is logical. I do not -need- someone to tell me that I am great, or smart, or strong, or good, or wise, or pretty, or interesting, etc...
I already know these things about myself. But, my "Kirk-brain" tells me that I need to hear things and be around other people.
It's like Chris Rock says: There are only three things women need in life: Food Water and Compliments. To that, I would add: someone who will spend TIME, MONEY, ENERGY on HELPING HER with whatever bullshit comes her way.
Being a good partner means--YOU DO NOT: belittle her for having a problem, ignore a problem altogether, and/or resent her for having a problem to begin with.
If you want me as a girlfriend/wife and you want all the good things that come with having me as a girlfriend/wife like guaranteed sex and interesting companionship, you have to COMMIT YOURSELF to putting -MY- NEEDS and WANTS -FIRST- or *at least* AS EQUAL TO YOUR OWN.
Not your friends, not your family, not your job. I COME FIRST. If you can't accept those terms, you're better off staying single and should have to pay money or masturbate for sexual release.