My Pain Is In The Air..
He's on a plane right now heading back to pensacola...no call no nothing...
I didn't expect it tho.
I feel like a big boulder has been lifted off my shoulders, him being gone and me knowing he's not around is like a breath of fresh air.
maybe this weekend is what it took for me to realize he isnt worth the tears..
I think I am finally over him..
or maybe im just sugar coating my feelings right now b/c i've pushed them back so far..
people change and it sucks but like sonia said, I got the best of marshall, I got the good guy the guy that would do anything for me.....I had the best of him.
he'll be back the first few weeks of october...im not gonna beat myself up over him anymore though, I do not want to see him..then when he leaves here he is off to San Diego, California for like a year then shipped out over seas or wherever they need him...I think when he is gone, shipped out, is when ill feel like a new person, ill be ready to move forward....
you live and learn, it just sucks that I have the rest of my life to think about this and deal with more shit being put on my plate...im only 19 right now and getting caught up in the game hardcore....marriage/divorce is gonna be a bitch..
but as I told sonia before, I feel as tho those of us who are hurt as we are younger and put thru the most shit relationship wise, will be the ones most happiest later in life.....we look at those who are in relationships now with jealous eyes but we have already experienced hurt and it is making us stronger with each breath we take.....
well im gonna go do a few things, call a few people...enjoy my day off.....enjoy this numb feeling while it lasts b/c I feel like im just in remission right now, and that the pain is on its way....like its gonna hit me like a semi train one of these mornings....
well im off to bake in the sun...
I didn't expect it tho.
I feel like a big boulder has been lifted off my shoulders, him being gone and me knowing he's not around is like a breath of fresh air.
maybe this weekend is what it took for me to realize he isnt worth the tears..
I think I am finally over him..
or maybe im just sugar coating my feelings right now b/c i've pushed them back so far..
people change and it sucks but like sonia said, I got the best of marshall, I got the good guy the guy that would do anything for me.....I had the best of him.
he'll be back the first few weeks of october...im not gonna beat myself up over him anymore though, I do not want to see him..then when he leaves here he is off to San Diego, California for like a year then shipped out over seas or wherever they need him...I think when he is gone, shipped out, is when ill feel like a new person, ill be ready to move forward....
you live and learn, it just sucks that I have the rest of my life to think about this and deal with more shit being put on my plate...im only 19 right now and getting caught up in the game hardcore....marriage/divorce is gonna be a bitch..
but as I told sonia before, I feel as tho those of us who are hurt as we are younger and put thru the most shit relationship wise, will be the ones most happiest later in life.....we look at those who are in relationships now with jealous eyes but we have already experienced hurt and it is making us stronger with each breath we take.....
well im gonna go do a few things, call a few people...enjoy my day off.....enjoy this numb feeling while it lasts b/c I feel like im just in remission right now, and that the pain is on its way....like its gonna hit me like a semi train one of these mornings....
well im off to bake in the sun...