I am my own greatest limitation

[goldfish_theory]

I am trying to persuade myself that there is something in me left to offer
not drained or demoralized but inherent in my nature
for what can I give if not myself
but the words by which I define myself most days are no truer than any other
and I am just a long and narrow bundle of bones
Small and Large
                (sometimes intricate)
surprisingly affected by weathering and the forces of gravity
and it is not that you yourself are so transcendent
simply removed from the comfortable reality I have built for myself
I am my own greatest limitation a pause or ellipse in time
attempting to re-gather itself into something resembling human
but human was never the goal I aspired to
I wish my arrogance was a better protector
but I am failing English because of a belief in a man made dictionary
                      walking on eggshells trying to make myself into something I'm not
its fool hearty cause I know you'll see right through me / or at least the person I've built you up to be will
I am my own greatest limitation
my thoughts become cacophony
         is it so bad that I delight in the sound of your breathing?