James Robert Wilson III
A lot of things in my life have been changing in the past month or so.
As you can see, because many people like to broadcast through livejournal,
some of my friends decided not to be my friends anymore.
Some of them because I gave them good reason too
and some because I myself am a good enough reason too.
This has been gradual
and terrible,
yes
very very terrible.
I miss each one of them.
(Thats a lie, I haven't missed Piper one second, and I've only missed Cote when Pokerface comes on the radio)
But I have other friendships and things to fill my life.
As one bestfriend leaves,
two more pop their heads into my lives, telling me they believe we've been best friends for a while and they are glad I have the time.
I have time for myself,
to read,
to write,
to clean my room,
to knit.
But when this summer ends,
so will,
the biggest chapter in my life.
I am petrified to lose Jimmy to Florida.
This is not a permanent thing
This will not ruin our friendship
I am not worried the respect of long term fucking up.
Jimmy is more than a friend to me
(in a way that should not worry Erin)
Jimmy is, a staple, and a part of my life.
I feel differently about him than any other friend.
I love him, but I feel like I can't fully love him or appreciate him because he is just a part of my life
like my bed
or the act of showering.
Jimmy is a natural part of my existence.
Always within reach,
always within comfort level.
Always a rock
He may not be dependable but I fully depend on him to be there when I need him,
and I don't need him everytime I'm sad or angry or confused.
I have certain situations that only Jimmy and Jimmy alone can better.
They have no rhyme or reason.
They just exist.
Jimmy lives a block away from me.
We've been on the same bus since 1st grade,
in the same class,
then in middle school on the same team,
then in high school,
when classes started to matter,
we were in the same class.
We went to the same college,
and each semester we took a class together,
unknowingly at registration.
Unplanned.
We made every effort to hang out when possible,
but when we couldn't,
it wasn't a stressor.
Because he was always there.
No matter what,
if I needed him
he was RIGHT there.
Now he's going to be on the other side of the country for a year and a bit.
The other side of the country.
And we're each going to be pursuing things we kind of like,
in places we definitely won't.
And our lives
as they always are
are going to be in completely different places, though our hearts and minds are in the same.
Jimmy and I were always older than our classmates.
Not literally, but mentally.
We each went through a mid life crisis at 16.
We understood each other,
Jimmy and I have always relished in the fact that it takes no effort to relate to each other.
We are just on the same wavelength.
He's the biggest comfort I have,
occasionally the only comfort I have.
We've grown up together.
And he's going to be taking himself and a whole giant part of my life, down to florida.
And I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle myself as fluidly as I do.
As you can see, because many people like to broadcast through livejournal,
some of my friends decided not to be my friends anymore.
Some of them because I gave them good reason too
and some because I myself am a good enough reason too.
This has been gradual
and terrible,
yes
very very terrible.
I miss each one of them.
(Thats a lie, I haven't missed Piper one second, and I've only missed Cote when Pokerface comes on the radio)
But I have other friendships and things to fill my life.
As one bestfriend leaves,
two more pop their heads into my lives, telling me they believe we've been best friends for a while and they are glad I have the time.
I have time for myself,
to read,
to write,
to clean my room,
to knit.
But when this summer ends,
so will,
the biggest chapter in my life.
I am petrified to lose Jimmy to Florida.
This is not a permanent thing
This will not ruin our friendship
I am not worried the respect of long term fucking up.
Jimmy is more than a friend to me
(in a way that should not worry Erin)
Jimmy is, a staple, and a part of my life.
I feel differently about him than any other friend.
I love him, but I feel like I can't fully love him or appreciate him because he is just a part of my life
like my bed
or the act of showering.
Jimmy is a natural part of my existence.
Always within reach,
always within comfort level.
Always a rock
He may not be dependable but I fully depend on him to be there when I need him,
and I don't need him everytime I'm sad or angry or confused.
I have certain situations that only Jimmy and Jimmy alone can better.
They have no rhyme or reason.
They just exist.
Jimmy lives a block away from me.
We've been on the same bus since 1st grade,
in the same class,
then in middle school on the same team,
then in high school,
when classes started to matter,
we were in the same class.
We went to the same college,
and each semester we took a class together,
unknowingly at registration.
Unplanned.
We made every effort to hang out when possible,
but when we couldn't,
it wasn't a stressor.
Because he was always there.
No matter what,
if I needed him
he was RIGHT there.
Now he's going to be on the other side of the country for a year and a bit.
The other side of the country.
And we're each going to be pursuing things we kind of like,
in places we definitely won't.
And our lives
as they always are
are going to be in completely different places, though our hearts and minds are in the same.
Jimmy and I were always older than our classmates.
Not literally, but mentally.
We each went through a mid life crisis at 16.
We understood each other,
Jimmy and I have always relished in the fact that it takes no effort to relate to each other.
We are just on the same wavelength.
He's the biggest comfort I have,
occasionally the only comfort I have.
We've grown up together.
And he's going to be taking himself and a whole giant part of my life, down to florida.
And I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle myself as fluidly as I do.