(no subject)
I haven't woken up crying in months, maybe years.
These are the days that I dread more than anything in the world.
Everything is so completely fucked up in every part of my life.
And I realize it before I'm even conscious
I've lost everyone important in my life for a million different reasons.
I feel defeated through everything.
I got into Emmanuel and was going two days ago,
thats gone to shit.
I'm not going to do as well as I should in my classes this semester.
I'm not going to list everything in my life that makes me miserable,
but I feel used up and useless.
I feel like crying in bed all day and there used to be a time when people would come and be with me when I felt like this.
I feel like a bitch and a loser and an idiot.
I miss everyone so much.
I sound like a four year old.
There used to be a time when I could write well.
These are the days that I dread more than anything in the world.
Everything is so completely fucked up in every part of my life.
And I realize it before I'm even conscious
I've lost everyone important in my life for a million different reasons.
I feel defeated through everything.
I got into Emmanuel and was going two days ago,
thats gone to shit.
I'm not going to do as well as I should in my classes this semester.
I'm not going to list everything in my life that makes me miserable,
but I feel used up and useless.
I feel like crying in bed all day and there used to be a time when people would come and be with me when I felt like this.
I feel like a bitch and a loser and an idiot.
I miss everyone so much.
I sound like a four year old.
There used to be a time when I could write well.