Weird Conversation
Forgive me if I ramble. Blabbing on and on is what I need to do so this may not make complete sense.
So the bug spent Saturday evening with the grandparents so I could work. I picked her back up Sunday evening and all four of us went to Souplantation for dinner, YEAH! (I must say slightly off topic though that the current special Mexican menu at Souplantation is not my favorite. But they still have blueberry muffins so I was fine.) Well dinner went well enough, only slightly annoying, which is better than it could have been. On the ride back home from the restaurant, we started talking (the bug and I). I really don't remember how the conversation started or how we ended up at where we got to. I remember talking at some point about my childhood and memories of things I did during those oh so exciting years, which most of her questions were really too far back for me to remember much of, but that is about all. Some how though we got to talking about my parents and their relationship. Now mind you my bug is 8, but the insight and sadness and curiosity and all behind this conversation really shook me. Heck its two days later and I was so taken by it that I had to post my first journal entry about it.
The conversation went something like, "Why aren't grandma and grampa sweeter to each other. They argue and yell and scream and cuss alot. Were they like that when you were a kid?" Honestly I don't remember much of my childhood from the age she is at but I remember high school and the years since, which have been well- loud. So I had to say yes. Which led Melissa to talk more about how they should be sweet to each other, and while she agrees with grampie that grandma is a twit sometimes and never had a childhood, he should still be sweet to her. Then we went down the question trail of, "did you ever wonder if they loved each other, do they still love each other, etc etc." I think even once she wanted to ask me if they still 'loved' each other cause she asked if they ever slept together, but I ended that line of questioning VERY quickly! Eventually we got to how she can't ever remember seeing them kiss, kiss. She remembers seeing them kiss on the cheek once or twice but never anything more. Somehow we got back on the sweet thing and how it makes her sad that they can't even be sweet on special days like her birthday or holidays. All in all it was a very sad conversation. The whole time I just sat there amazed at the observation of my little girl and how deep some of her comments were.
Because I was worried that she may have some problem with 'mommy & daddy' (or whatever we are) I made sure while we were talking that she didn't have the same issues with us. She was nice enough to tell me that she knows we are sweet to each other in fact sometimes we are just gross, so I felt safe in knowing that she feels that we love each other. :)
But looking back on the conversation later in the evening and since it has really made me curious and contemplative. I worry about what effect my parents have on how my bug sees relationships and how that will impact her as she starts dating, in MANY MANY MANY years! I wonder if that impacted me and how I deal with relationships, and why I bottle up things till I explode instead of just venting when things happen. Is that why I try to make sure my better half is happy and am willing to do anything to ensure that happiness and always try to say 'I love you' as often as possible?
Really I just needed to write this down so that it wouldn't bubble in my head or anything.....
Jess
So the bug spent Saturday evening with the grandparents so I could work. I picked her back up Sunday evening and all four of us went to Souplantation for dinner, YEAH! (I must say slightly off topic though that the current special Mexican menu at Souplantation is not my favorite. But they still have blueberry muffins so I was fine.) Well dinner went well enough, only slightly annoying, which is better than it could have been. On the ride back home from the restaurant, we started talking (the bug and I). I really don't remember how the conversation started or how we ended up at where we got to. I remember talking at some point about my childhood and memories of things I did during those oh so exciting years, which most of her questions were really too far back for me to remember much of, but that is about all. Some how though we got to talking about my parents and their relationship. Now mind you my bug is 8, but the insight and sadness and curiosity and all behind this conversation really shook me. Heck its two days later and I was so taken by it that I had to post my first journal entry about it.
The conversation went something like, "Why aren't grandma and grampa sweeter to each other. They argue and yell and scream and cuss alot. Were they like that when you were a kid?" Honestly I don't remember much of my childhood from the age she is at but I remember high school and the years since, which have been well- loud. So I had to say yes. Which led Melissa to talk more about how they should be sweet to each other, and while she agrees with grampie that grandma is a twit sometimes and never had a childhood, he should still be sweet to her. Then we went down the question trail of, "did you ever wonder if they loved each other, do they still love each other, etc etc." I think even once she wanted to ask me if they still 'loved' each other cause she asked if they ever slept together, but I ended that line of questioning VERY quickly! Eventually we got to how she can't ever remember seeing them kiss, kiss. She remembers seeing them kiss on the cheek once or twice but never anything more. Somehow we got back on the sweet thing and how it makes her sad that they can't even be sweet on special days like her birthday or holidays. All in all it was a very sad conversation. The whole time I just sat there amazed at the observation of my little girl and how deep some of her comments were.
Because I was worried that she may have some problem with 'mommy & daddy' (or whatever we are) I made sure while we were talking that she didn't have the same issues with us. She was nice enough to tell me that she knows we are sweet to each other in fact sometimes we are just gross, so I felt safe in knowing that she feels that we love each other. :)
But looking back on the conversation later in the evening and since it has really made me curious and contemplative. I worry about what effect my parents have on how my bug sees relationships and how that will impact her as she starts dating, in MANY MANY MANY years! I wonder if that impacted me and how I deal with relationships, and why I bottle up things till I explode instead of just venting when things happen. Is that why I try to make sure my better half is happy and am willing to do anything to ensure that happiness and always try to say 'I love you' as often as possible?
Really I just needed to write this down so that it wouldn't bubble in my head or anything.....
Jess