Goldilocks proves to be technologically inept.

[goldentress]

I've run out of coffee again, and am exhausted, so the kids will have to do without me.

Thank you for the flowers, Neil, they were lovely. As a matter of fact, they are all still alive, if you can imagine that. Steroids in the plant food, I suspect.

I stumbled on an old cartoon today that I couldn't pass up. Let's see, hopefully I can get this cut

Comments

[biggestbear]

The apron's nice, but it needs something. Maybe a big frilly bow.

The meat cleaver on the left is appreciated.

[goldentress]

Big frilly bows make your butt look too big.

Pink sun dresses do as well.

I see that your violent animalistic nature has not decreased over the last few lifetimes. Pity.

[biggestbear]

You remembered, Miss Wright. I'm impressed.

This is true. Granted my career choice doesn't help matters any.

[goldentress]

I rarely ever forget, Mr. Fisher.

Yes, well, the evil politician-man always has to be out for blood. Or blondes. You never know which he'll prefer more.

[biggestbear]

Brunettes, actually. And I only lust for blood on full moons.

[goldentress]

Oh, someone needs to tell Vanessa this, you don't know how ecstatic it will make her. She's been happily brunette for over three years...

So, the bear has wolfish tendencies. I'm floored.

[biggestbear]

Let me clarify: NATURAL brunettes. Anything other than natural is vain and unbecoming.

All I ask, Miss Wright, is that you don't forget it.

[goldentress]

I think you may end up deflating her ego, Mr. Fisher. For that, I commend you. But, please, don't tell that to anyone...

Have you already forgotten? Perhaps I will have to write a memo on a post-it for you:

I rarely forget.

[biggestbear]

Fear not for while her ego is deflated the five pounds of silicone on her chest will keep her afloat.

I'll write myself a post-it right next to yours:

Don't tell anyone that Amelia Wright has a soul.

[goldentress]

I'm so pleased that you've noticed her tactical advantage. I thought I would have to point it out to you with a pair of binoculars and a bag of popcorn.

To which another will be placed next to yours:

Correction, do not tell Amelia Wright that Amelia Wright has a soul. It might cause her to have a coronary.

[biggestbear]

If those things are classified as tactical advantages, you may consider me a frightened man.

And yet another post-it note would be stacked up next to yours:

In case of emergency, remember that Edgewood is home to at least three known physicians.

[goldentress]

I'd advise you not to let her hug you if you wish to remain unbruised. Trust me, her arsenal is far less frightening than that of ninety percent of the women in our lovely neighborhood.

And one would would be tactfully placed on top of that:

In case of emergency, do not call Greg. He will insist that you preform the CPR.

[biggestbear]

Note to self:

If and when Amelia Wright suffers from a coronary, make sure to seek advice from the genius of Greg Price.

[goldentress]

Your confidence in Greg amazes me, Mr. Fisher!

I assure you, though, that I do not do CPR on the first heart failure.

Note to Self:

Consider the possibility that, against all odds, you might have a soul.

[biggestbear]

Is this the opportune moment to locate a breath mint, Miss Wright?

[goldentress]

Not quite, Mr. Fisher.

It seems that I am still skeptical if whether I have a soul or not.
Such questions take time to process, deliberate, and answer.

Of course, if your breath is killing plant life within a twenty yard radius, you might want to consider a breath mint, yes.