Personal Log | Entry 013

[goldenpinocchio]

[Public Video]

[He's playing solitaire by himself in front of the camera. Really, really quickly. His hands are flying through flipping and gathering and replacing the cards, though his speaking and other gestures are at normal speed. He's not looking at the camera.]I have yet to discover what part of my net the memories of the flood have been

Comments

Private

[you_run_i_chase]

Do you want me to tell you about the flood. We were pretty fucking good friends.

[Private]

[empirical_data]

Um... [He actually "umed", it takes the time for him to formulate a novel's worth of thought in an "um"] Yes. Martha generally told me about it, however I still am unable to remember.

[Private]

[you_run_i_chase]

We were friends. I was in a tight spot and Carlos saved my ass. Introduced me to my first sword swallower, and let me do bit work around before I got good enough to make my own money.

[Private]

[empirical_data]

Did I appear normal for a human? [There might be the slightest bit of hope in that tone, because even though he keeps his appearance for a purpose, he would like to know what it would be like to be looked upon just as a normal, everyday human.]

[failedcreator]

[Victor has no idea how to handle this situation.] You are saddened that you cannot recall the flood? I do recall this flood. You were a most kind man.

[Private Audio]

[empirical_data]

I'm sad because my first inclination was talk to my friend about it, and he's dead because of me. And the man that my captain would have wished to help apparently was lost during the breach... I helped people, I cannot even remember it now, and as I am now I'm harming more than helping. [His voice breaks all through, but that last comment results in outright sobs. Again, the brain to mouth filter seems to be not functioning properly.]

[Private Audio]

[failedcreator]

Your friend has perished due to your actions? [Horrible pause.] I- I have also experienced this thing. There is little to do but vengence, that may not be possible here.

Are you sure that this man has truely lost during the breach? Does the Admiral not return them to us? [Oh, Victor. Trying to be comforting through excessive questions is not normally very effective.]

[Private Audio]

[empirical_data]

I asked the Doctor to take me with him into the vortex. I cannot help but believe his experiment was a prelude to that. [Another break to vent all of that pent up frustration.] And th-the other man was no friend, but he was related to my captain and I should have done better by him. [His voice is wavering drastically.]

[alzarian_youth]

I'm sure the Doctor wouldn't mind having his language database expanded.

...are you all right?

[empirical_data]

[He pulls his voice together with some effort to address Adric.] I will be. I usually am. And I hope you are correct. [He swallows down a lump in his throat.]

[alzarian_youth]

I'm sure I am. I'm sure he'd love the new addition.

[empirical_data]

Thank you. [There's a waver there, but he does appreciate it.]

Private

[naughtbutlife]

It is a shame that you cannot recall the flood, for you were a very kind and thoughtful man.

You were not the sort to bring harm to anyone, sir.

Private

[empirical_data]

[Clears as much of the upset out of his voice that he possibly can.] Did you know me well?

Private

[naughtbutlife]

I did. I was a woman named Angie Fanshawe; a sharpshooter who had been widowed three times when she joined the carnival. Carlos, the man you had been, was a dear friend and a protector. If those people were indeed a family, then that man was the patriarch.

There was an incident. A girl wandered behind the tent where I practised my shooting. She was shot in the neck, though by some miracle was not seriously harmed. You were the first to answer my call for aid.

Private

[empirical_data]

Carlos was the name of a role I used to portray in games I attended with my captain. [He simplifies it quite a bit, knowing when she's from. He tries to keep himself steady. He's glad that he helped someone.] I would hope he would have been proud of me.

Did she survive?

[Private.]

[thegooddrjones]

Data, the Doctor won't mind at all. Really.

[Private.]

[empirical_data]

Martha, before his experiment, I expressed an interest in entering the vortex with him. I suspect it was the motivation behind his experiment.

[Private.]

[thegooddrjones]

Data, you cannot blame yourself for this. At all. None of it was your fault. The Doctor would have done the experiment anyway, it's rather what he does.

I mean it, it's not your fault.

[Private.]

[empirical_data]

There is a stronger chance it would not have been that one.